To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

When recovered baby wear as much as possible, don't worry about the housework, have a shower in the morning before husband leaves for work, do not stress about baby sleep - contact naps are completely normal!

If you don't want to breastfeed don't. But don't say you're not doing it for ease. It was loads easier than bottles for me and is for some.

definitely don't worry about housework. Pack the freezer before you go in. If visitors offer to help, get them making you a brew or hoovering up!

Look up the guide to safe co-sleeping so you're informed just in case. The Lullaby Trust is a trusted authority.

A big improvement for me with my second baby has been ALWAYS taking a few minutes to make my breakfast even if he's crying. Have an easy tasty breakfast you can throw together. I have greek yoghurt, granola and blueberries.

Food

Batch cook/stock the cupboards/arrange family and friends to come and cook

In the first few weeks you will not have time to cook and will resort to eating junk or takeaway. Eventually this makes you feel sluggish and crap, get some good quality food in ready. My DH did all the cooking for two weeks and when he went back to work I lived on toast and fruit as it was quick and convenient. When family and friends ask if you need anything ask them to bring a meal or come and cook for you. It's not cheeky, they won't mind

Aim low - everybody fed, nobody dead. Never disappointed.

Send baby out when dh walks to the shop- even if it's like day 3. He will be terrified but once he has done it once, he won't be scared next time.

DH doing the lifting is a great idea. Totally fine if you want to bottle feed but BFing can be a lot easier if it goes ok. Maybe worth a shot as getting up to make a bottle in the dead of night can be a killer compared to just yanking up a tshirt.
Prioritise sleeping and feeding everyone above all else, especially yourself.

It all depends on your baby. Both of mine were very easy babies, both bottle fed, never tried breast it's just not for me. Mam bottles are great sterilise in the microwave really easy.

Good luck but I found formula, sterilising, making up bottles a complete and utter faff and breastfeeding easy and convenient.

I had 2 sections and recovery was long (months) and painful. It's major abdominal surgery. Buy arnica tablets to help recover from bruising inside and out and don't be afraid to demand proper painkillers.

My tips are batch cook as much as possible now and freeze it.

Don't bother about housework.

Pick out some good box sets to watch during the night and have lots of snacks in.

Take it one day at a time.

I didn't change a single nappy when my DH was around for the first few months. I was the milk machine, daddy was the nappy monkey. Legit nap when the baby naps if you can, this was contact naps for 3 months for me. And put a mat and supplies next to the bed and practice changing on your lap in bed.

I’m very pro making life easy for ourselves! Im on my second baby, and was high risk for PPD with my first due to significant mental health history, thankfully I’ve avoided it both times so I totally get where you’re coming from. For what it’s worth, I didn’t find first baby the massive rock hitting the earth life changing experience so many suggested it would be, and I had him mid pandemic when we were quite isolated.

Couple of thoughts on your points. Breastfeeding leads to lower rates to PPD, and breastfeeding mums who bedshare also statistically get the most sleep as you can just roll over and stick a boob in their mouth and soothe them quickly, rather than faffing about with bottles and having to get up and down all night and try other methods of soothing. I’m so grateful for breastfeeding meaning I’ve really not been that tired through 2 babies now, and my first didn’t sleep through till he was 20 months (and doesn’t always now) I would absolutely have struggled more with sleep deprivation without it. Breastfeeding is such an easy one for calming babies down too. It’s totally ok not to breastfeed of course, but I’m not sure your reasoning why holds up. Very few women can’t breastfeed physically, most issues are lack of education or support, but paying for an IBCLC solves that.

I’ve also recovered from 2 vaginal births quicker and easier than anyone I know who’s had a section, which is major surgery, but you’re absolutely right that it’s more of a known quantity.

Agree with above - if everyone’s fed, and nobodies dead, it was a good day. Meals from Cook in the freezer are a lifesaver. Get a good sling so you can be hands free holding baby, I like Integras once they’re a bit bigger (12 weeks ish depending on the size of baby) Get your DH to make and leave you food before he goes to work so you can make sure you can eat all day. Get a huge water bottle and take it with you room to room so you drink. Keep nappies, muslins, spare clothes for you and baby, snacks for you, in the car, so you can just easily go out. And do go out and get fresh air, it’ll help. Babies generally like being outside too, and nobody will mind if they cry.

This re breastfeeding!!!!

If it clicks, it's soooo much easier than faffing with bottles, warming up, cooling down, washing, sanitizing.... For me, I'm lucky that with both of mine it clicked straight away in hospital and breatfed them both by 18m.

So don't rule anything out, plans are one thing but once that bubba arrives it's a completely different matter.

Other than that fill the freezer up, it's a game changer. Congratulations and good luck!!

Cold water steriliser is much less faff than any electric/microwave ones. Pop in some water and a tablet and put the bottles straight in after cleaning, they’re good for 24 hours and you can just pull one out when you need one

Also if you have the spare cash, a newborn high chair (we had a hauck sit n relax) is sooo handy after a c section as you’ve got somewhere convenient to pop baby when you’re pottering in the kitchen without having to bend over too much

Make sure you have a changing mat and a box of wipes, nappies etc downstairs as well as upstairs

When my DC1 was very small I had a bag/box that I kept stocked with a drink, snacks, phone, charged power bank, Muslin square, infoacol,.travel wipes, nappy etc. I'd move the whole bag around the house (including bedroom) so it was always in reach if I got stuck under a napping DC. I couldn't breastfeed Dc1 but did with Dc2 and Dc3. My experience was when it worked, it was much easier than bottle feeding (although wish I'd switched quicker with Dc1). Also my DH never heard dc when they were tiny so I gave up having him on night duty because we would both end up awake, tired and grumpy, and he did the late evening shift instead. So be flexible!

The best thing I did to make my life easier as a new mum was to have my husband join me for all antenatal classes, including a breastfeeding one, so he had all the same info I did. That way he knew what to expect and nothing came as a shock.

For your changing bag, put nappies, wet wipes, nappy bags in a bag and then complete outfits in separate little bags so when there's an inevitable poonami, you just grab a bag of clothes and then the nappy pod and off you go!

Yes to changing station upstairs and downstairs.

I'm the same as a few pp... The thing I did to make life more easy with a newborn and to get more sleep was breastfeeding. It can sometimes take a few weeks to properly feel in the swing of it, but once you've cracked it, it makes life very easy. Food and comfort on tap.

Next to that... A sling!

I'm going against the grain here but I bottle fed two children and breast fed one (our youngest) and breast feeding was so much more faff and restrictive.

With formula feeding my DH always made up the bottles so they were ready to go and he could feed while I slept in or spent time with the other DC. When I breastfed it was very wearing to be the only one to feed. I did it for six months and was glad to be done after that.

Just thought I'd offer an alternative perspective.

Honestly I found the newborn days far easier than the "on the move days" I had an easy going baby, I ate normal food, showered etc.

Look for your closest baby cinema - that's a nice thing to do.

Enjoy just watching movies, reading, leisurely walks... All nice times not spent in a soft play 😂

I bottle fed, had a perfect prep machine but didn't make bottles up at night. Ready made formula and sterile bottles waiting on the dresser was the best thing I did in the very early days.

How much pat leave does your DH get? We had 12 wks which really helps.

I'd agree that formula is not necessarily easier than breastfeeding. Mine was a mixed feeder initially (prem so struggled at first, then fed quite slowly so was losing weight), and we were delighted when we could stop bothering with bottles. You've got the sterilising as well as the prep, and it's a lot easier to read a book whilst breastfeeding than holding a baby and a bottle. Granted, you can get your partner to do a bigger share, but unless he has a lot of paternity leave, he's going to need to get back to work, and you both get the sleepless nights whichever side of the bed the baby sleeps, so there are limits.

The 3 I know that had c sections all regretted it. 2 took months to heal properly and couldn't walk properly or look after baby well in the first days and 3rd she had to go back for awful infections and was stuck in hospital for a few weeks

I'm due our second in a few days.

For us, we went to Costco and stocked up on the basics like ham, Mac and cheese & carbonara etc and have frozen those for a few dinners once we're home.

We've stock piled on nappies & milk so we don't need to leave the house so much.

The baby will definitely be at my side for bonding purposes. I wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise. I think it's important for the baby to be at my side as it helps them too.

I didn't have a changing table. Just a travel mat and nappies/wipes in a basket both upstairs and downstairs.

I breastfed and coslept for ease - single parent so it was going to be me doing it either way. Can see why bottles might be easier if it means sharing the duties though!

Don't stress about routines, they'll find one when they're ready if you follow their lead

Baby doesnt need "outfits". Leggings or baby grows seem comfortable and both easy enough for changing.. poppers become less so when they get wrigglier though.

For many people breastfeeding is the easy choice. It was/is for me. Bottles are such a faff (elder child had tongue tie so did have some experience) and I’m far too lazy.

I’ve banished DH to the spare room so he gets some sleep and is better places to care for me (and older child) during the day.

Re ECS: people recover differently to surgery. I had two “normal” vaginal births but both with a difficult recovery. Second one I was in and out of hospital for nearly 2 weeks. People assumed I’d had a section because of the complication.

You do what works for you, it’s all a guessing game to begin with.