To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

Order and read a new book out - Motherf*ckinghood. Read it today, it’s brilliant. Wish I had read it when I had my baby

You’re just making life difficult for yourself by bottle feeding 🤷‍♀️

Not sure the easiest recovery is c-section to be honest. It’s major surgery and you might not recover as quickly as others plus there’s risk of complications during healing.
as for bottle being easier, no way. If you can successfully breastfeed it’s the easiest thing in the world, no sterilising, scrubbing, poos are practically odour free and you just whip your boob out whenever babies hungry even if they’re half asleep it can be done.

it sounds to me like your plan complicates things even more.

That’s brilliant advice and I love the saying 😂

C section recovery really isn’t easy. Yes an elcs helps you know when baby (should) will come, but the recovery is long and painful, at least to start with.

I have bf and bottle fed, and found bf easier (no washing, sterilising bottles). If you do bottle feed, ready made formula for out and about is a good idea.

I would add:
Changing mat and supply of nappies, wipes, muslins, spare clothes upstairs and downstairs.

Supply of snacks in the living room for the nap trapped early days.

Yeah, I've got a tip.
Breastfeed.
1000% makes your life easier, not only at night, but out and about.
If baby is inconsolable, you can just pop them on the breast, but no, now you have to wait to make a bottle and try get them interested in that.
Geez, someone fed you wrong advice.

If you're not breastfeeding for other reasons, on you be it, but formula isn't the easier option.
Sure breastfeeding can take some getting used to, but so does feeding a baby a bottle? Have you tried getting the flow right, the angle baby wants to be held, a tongue tie, them not like the teat you chose? Not over or underfeeding.

Shoot, if someone asked me what should you do to make your life easier after a baby, I'd say breastfeed and snooze while you're at it.

I found ff far less faff and restricting than breast feeding, even without a prep machine (4 dc and I've bf, bottle fed, mix fed , expressed and bottle fed)

Didn't like baby wearing but might work for you , worth a try

Batch cooking is great! Also the slow cooker

Sleep when baby is sleeping if at all possible

I'm with some of the others who found formula feeding much easier than breastfeeding. I mix fed and helped me feel less trapped by it all, and the bottles are not really a faff once you get a routine going. Maybe I'm lucky that our baby wasn't at all fussy about teat or formula types.

Sorry, I get that you're a new mom and just asking for advice - good on you.
But, uhmm who gave you above advice? Who in their right mind says - girl if you want to make your life easier, have major abdominal surgery so that you can't sit up by yourself for a week, nor drive and have pain when you walk, and so that it can be especially painful when you hold your baby, so that you have to take a shit load of meds to make you feel worse and then oh wait I've got more advice, choose to bottle feed from the get go, so that just when baby is settled you have to get up to wash and sterilise bottles, and try to figure out which allergies baby has so that you can try 5 different formulas (and waste your money) only to go back to the first one and then once your husband goes back to work you can never just lie in bed with baby and nap cause there's always a bottle to sterilise cause it fell on the floor just after you made it, the dog licked it and you didn't even have time for a shower but at least you've found the scoop for the formula and put on some oil and massaged your cses scar so it doesn't get ridgid. Like you don't have enough to do already!

Oh and I had to csections, they were much easier recovery than my first vb although not as easy as my second

Buy a bottle of baby colic drops/probiotic drops and have them ready in the cupboard for when the inevitable discomfort starts around month 1-2. Both times I wished that I had stocked them in advance. Get up when allowed after the C section and move as much as you can comfortably/slightly discomfortly do so. Get compression socks, a belly band, and very loose slippers to wear home. There is a lot of water retention after c sections in my experience.

I had to top DC up with formula in the first few weeks and I absolutely hated it. Even with a Perfect Prep, it was a pain in the arse and formula stinks and made both mine way more pukey than breast milk, plus all the washing and sterilising. I certainly wouldn't have chosen formula to make my life easier! I was very glad when we could stop using it.

Personally I've found newborn phase easy with both as newborns tend to sleep loads, your partner is at home, everyone is keen to help out. It's the bit that comes after that is tougher!

C section can have a painful recovery. Ii got one 6 weeks ago and am just about OK now. I have found bottle feeding much easier than breast feeding because my husband can do it and then I can sleep. Sterilising bottles isn't much of a faff. I recommend mam bottles and get a microwave steriliser. Just wash and rinse the bottles, pop them in the steriliser and microwave for nine minutes. Have lots of cushions on the sofa because they're handy for propping up your arm while you feed.

Also do you have any reason to belief your mental health needs all these adjustments? I think until the baby arrives, etc. you don't really know how it'll be, so I wouldn't be assuming I needed to do X, Y and Z. Just take it as it comes and see.

After breastfeeding one child, and bottle feeding another, my thoughts are that bottle is MUCH easier as long as you've got a fully involved partner.

Bf was easy in terms of me just shoving a nipple in her mouth with no prep etc. But it was all me (many babies, including mine, refused bottles). When she fed 10 times a night it was all me. When I was ill with D&V, it was still all me. I could only sleep for as long as she'd go between feeds, and it took over a year before I got 3 consecutive hours! My first full night sleep was when she was 2.

My ff baby fed less, and we shared the feeds. She slept 3 consecutive hours from the start, and my first full night sleep was at 3 days. I then got either (depending on how we were sharing it) either a guaranteed 5 hour block every night, or alternate nights of 7 full hours. I didn't do any bottle washing or sterilising, and my husband didnt so any bottle making up.

I also didn't get up in the night to make feeds as we made them for 24hrs, stored them in a fridge (cool bag overnight) and I picked up a microwave second hand for £5 which we had by the bed. Waking to feeding in approx 30 seconds!

BUT a large proportion of men dont muck in, they don't do night feeds, they leave the bottle admin the the woman, or the woman falls into thr trap of thinking the man must sleep because of work, irrespective of how tired she is.

So if you have a man who treats patenting equally, then bottle feeding can be much easier. If you have a lazy partner, then you may as well breast feed as you'll be doing it all anyway.

Ps: not all women can feed lying down and doze back. It killed my back.

Pps: mix feeding might be the easiest, but requires a flexible baby!

Batch cook
load up bottles first thing in the morning with the formula then use the prep machine and all you do is hit the button twice. Saves faffing with formula scooping.
Always make up a box next to you that has wipes, nappies and creams. Always have an extra vest/nappy etc. than you need

Breastfeeding is a lot easier and less faff than formula feeding IME

My advice is to stop making plans. You have no idea how you'll feel once baby is born and what seems easier now might be harder than you think.

I was lucky my son took to a bottle as my partner could give him expressed milk.

Agree. When you have a screaming baby, it's much easier to whip your boob out and feed than have to prep a bottle

Get up (with midwife supervision) as soon as you feel able. The women on my ward who chose to wait seemed to find getting moving harder.

Have easy to grab healthy snacks/drinks and fill your freezer with batch cooked meals. That way you don’t even have to think about what’s for tea when you’re tired.

Leave all housework to your DH until you’re properly recovered.. I had two planned sections. With the first I took the guidelines on lifting really seriously With the second I picked my toddler up loads and hoovered when my DH’s back was turned. Even though I felt fully recovered before hand, my wound was really sore after… remember that even if everything on the outside is fine, your insides can still be healing!

Find a few good books/some box sets you’ve been meaning to watch, lots of having a newborn is cuddling/feeding on the sofa.

It’s probably not the healthiest, but my midwife told DH to get me some isotonic sports drinks for when I got home. They really seemed to help perk me up!

Take photos and videos, those hazy newborn days don’t last long.

Good luck with everything

I'm not saying this from an ideological standpoint, but a pure statement of fact - breastfeeding can be way less of a faff than bottle feeding!

Hi Op, just want to wish you the best of luck for upcoming motherhood, there's a thousand and one books out there telling you what you should and shouldn't do and many more people who will do the same 👀 as long as you and baby are happy and healthy then that is all that matters at the end of the day. I agree with your choice of elective c section, that would be my choice also, and if I couldn't/didn't want to breastfeed I'd be more than happy to bottle feed with no guilt felt. It's always good to hear people's personal experiences on what they found easier and there's been some useful tips on this thread which I hope will help make them first few weeks an easier transition for you

I would just try and remember that every mum and every baby is different. And it shows in this thread.

People having c sections and not sitting up by themselves for weeks and on loads of meds? Not my experience at all. Was sore for a few days then honestly fine. Not being able to drive was a bit of a pain.

I bottle fed the first and am breastfeeding the second. Actually found bottle feeding easier - took minutes and anyone could do it. Breastfeeding (although I am glad to be able to this time round) I'm finding is more of a slog. My baby is up sometimes 6 times a night and I can't feed on my side because of her reflux and because it kills my back so no extra sleep gained there.

I would try and get some fresh air every day for you and baby. Watch some good series on Netflix and make the most of the baby snuggles.

I found it good to remember the days where your hormones are extra crazy. Will help you recognise that whatever you're feeling is normal. E.g I think day 5 is the notorious crying day due to whatever hormone dump happens then!

Bottle feeding was far easier for me - I breastfed both children for several weeks until it got to the point where I cried all day every day. It did something awful to my mental health despite the evidence saying that it supposedly reduces PND. Both my children lost significant amounts of weight (I'm apparently one of those people for whom "just feed, feed, feed and your supply will come" doesn't work - they do exist!) and were required to be weighed every other day, threatened readmission to hospital etc until I began to give them formula. It felt like a black cloud lifted and everyone was happier. That's just my perspective and I have many friends who feed bf/ff/mixed who all found something that worked for them for whatever reason - you may not want to make up your mind until you try both.

Recovering from a vaginal birth was worlds easier than a c-section, not even comparable. The c-section recovery was so horrendous - this is the main reason why I chose a VBAC.

I think your point about the next to me is right though- I couldn't manage the required motion to sit, twist and lift to pick baby up for a few weeks.

My best advice (which I didn't take myself!) is to take any help that's offered - don't feel like you have to do everything yourself or be a martyr to your baby. Going for a walk where I knew for a few minutes that no one would be asking anything of me has always made a huge difference to my mental health.