To ask DH to try on outfits before trip

[BreadsNRoses]

DH and I are going on a two-week trip around different places in Japan and are each taking only one carryon bag. So every outfit needs to be chosen wisely. I asked him to try on outfits before the trip to see what would be best to pack and if we needed to buy him anything else (like no-show socks, another t-shirt, etc). He thought it was unreasonable to do a “fashion show” trying on each outfit before packing to see what works and what we needed to buy. Am I being unreasonable?

He brought up the idea of putting this to a vote. If you vote YABU, he never needs to try on outfits before a trip again. If you vote YANBU, he should check his outfits before trips.

Logically it's a good idea. I do this when I go on holidays, and ask my husband to check each outfit. My weight always changes, and I like to check my clothes are flattering also. He's very good at being honest and saying Hmmmm I like X better etc.

I'm also an over packer so trying the outfits on helps me avoid doing that. I use packing cubes so my evening outfits all go together, counted out logically.

The thing is though, you can't force him to pack like your or take your approach because we're all different. If he has the wrong stuff packed, it's his fault and he can just get on with it. And you get to say "haha told you so 😂"

Can he not pack for himself?

He’s a grown man and doesn’t need you to check his outfits like a child.

wtf surely he knows what clothes he owns and can use them modularly to match conditions etc ? why try on clothes you already own and wear ?

My DH is similar to yours @BreadsNRoses in that clothes just don't interest him. As far as he is concerned as long as he is decent, warm and comfortable and the clothes for his very long arms and legs he doesn't care what he is wearing it what he looks like.

He also wears clothes into rags before buying new ones.

I'm not sure why his socks have to be no show socks. Does it matter? There is no way I would ask him to try clothes on. He is perfectly capable of working out how many pairs of pants and socks he needs while away.

yabVu

Why on earth does he need to do this? Is this one of those reverse joke things?

I’ll buy him things he needs online (new pair of shoes for work when the old ones start to look ratty, etc) so he doesn’t have to go to the store. Anyone else have a DH like this?

No. I'm married to a grown up. And I've got better things to do with my time than sort out my husband's wardrobe.

Isn’t it normal to try on outfits and do a bit of planning before going on a big expensive trip?? I agree it’s logical to plan like this to try to prevent overpacking. I thought that was common sense! Some of the replies on this thread are bizarre.

Isn’t it normal to try on outfits and do a bit of planning before going on a big expensive trip?? I agree it’s logical to plan like this to try to prevent overpacking
Planning and trying on are different things. For a week in the sun DH would pack 7 tshirts, 7 pairs of pants, probably 3 pairs of shorts and maybe 3 pairs of socks, assuming sandals on other days. And one jumper. Would take about 5 minutes.

I might take a little longer to work out how many tshirts if I'm wearing a dress 2 days etc. Not much longer and still not requiring any trying on.

Still don't get your concern about whether his socks are showing or not and why anyone would ever need to try on socks.

Dh and I travel alot we have never ever done this

It is to me but everyone works differently and unfortunately you can't make someone else use your logic because you think it makes more sense. I pack over an amount of time and write down the stuff that needs to still be packed/the last minute list.

This is after years of being very badly organised so it's just how I work now to minimise my stress levels. People packing just before leaving stresses the life out of me 😂 , but I don't care as I know I'm good. I bring lunch with me, snacks, water bottle etc.

I even go as far as hanging up my travel outfit in advance, so on travel day I just need to shower, pick up bits I've organised, add my last minute additions (from the list - phone charger, make up etc) and grab my lunch from the fridge 😁. I'm neuro diverse and have OCD etc so this is just my coping mechanism so it won't be for everyone.

Luckily my husband and I are similar in this way so don't argue about these things

@BreadsNRoses he does not need to try on really 💐

https://www.rei.com/learn/expert-advice/traveling-light.html#:~:text=Consider%20the%201%2D2%2D3,last%20you%20for%20two%20weeks.

Is he similarly over invested in your sock drawer? Does he take it upon himself to make what you pack for a holiday his business to curate?

Are you married to someone who literally cannot dress himself or are you controlling and micromanaging?

I don't put this much effort into controlling what my kids pack for holidays, you can step back you know and let him adult for himself.

How does this list imply that?

He's a grown man. If it doesn't work that's his problem.

We went to Japan in January and honestly it was no trouble getting suitcases around on the trains. We are a family of 5 and each had a large suitcase and backpack. I'd take more luggage if it was me.

Yep this and I presume he's capable of deciding what he needs to buy 🙄

He’ll do some things for me that I don’t like doing myself, like my taxes for instance. It’s give and take. Do you do nothing for your spouse? Are you like room mates who live next to each other and just happen to be married?

Isn’t it normal to try on outfits

No

and do a bit of planning before going on a big expensive trip??

Yes.

Please can you answer the sock question.

Maybe depends on how used you are to travelling? I’ve travelled all over the world and even when going for months don’t take more than carry on. I still don’t try everything on, I know what clothes I have. I’d find it really odd if my husband tried to insist I do this.

How is insisting he tries on clothes and making him buy new ones when he's happy with his current ones doing something for him? It doesn't sound like helping him out at all, nothing like doing your taxes.

I'm sorry I know this is meant to be slightly lighthearted but I think its unbelievably controlling to insist someone try out outfits before a trip. He's a grown man not a child, let him make his own choices.

How on earth does he having to try clothes on doing something for you?

This has to be a joke thread

Why are you babying a grown man in this manner?

YABU. If any partner had tried this with me, I'd run the other way.

I have never tried on outfits before a trip unless there’s a wedding or similar as part of it.

I lay stuff on the bed and check I have enough tops, bottoms etc and that enough of them go with each other. And work for what we’ll be doing. I cannot imagine planning each outfit!

As for insisting someone else does this... sorry that’s verging on batshit in my book.

What’s the worst that happens? Some of his t shirts don’t go brilliantly with his trousers??