To ask DH to try on outfits before trip

[BreadsNRoses]

DH and I are going on a two-week trip around different places in Japan and are each taking only one carryon bag. So every outfit needs to be chosen wisely. I asked him to try on outfits before the trip to see what would be best to pack and if we needed to buy him anything else (like no-show socks, another t-shirt, etc). He thought it was unreasonable to do a “fashion show” trying on each outfit before packing to see what works and what we needed to buy. Am I being unreasonable?

He brought up the idea of putting this to a vote. If you vote YABU, he never needs to try on outfits before a trip again. If you vote YANBU, he should check his outfits before trips.

Sorry OP, I had to double check this isn't about a child holidaying with his mother.

He's perfectly capable of dressing himself and planning for it.

I’m not saying it’s impossible, I’m just asking why they want to cause such stress and arguments before a holiday for the sake of not checking in a bag.

Yes - @MonkeysandParrots reminded me you just need a change of clothes and deodorant as Japanese hotels provide everything. Yuzu bath salts were nice.

Lastly, every hotel we stayed in had a full range of complimentary toiletries so don’t worry about taking too much of those either.

If you’re reasonably short and not at all overweight you can rely on the nightwear provided by the hotel too. Normally a heavy cotton waffle weave nightshirt.

He's an adult? So I am pretty sure he doesn't need you buying anything or deciding what 'works' for you. That sounds far too controlling for me I certainly wouldn't want my husband making me show all my planned packing off for any holiday.

His clothes, his problem if outfits are unsuitable when he gets there. Leave alone.

I wouldn’t try on myself and if OH asked me to I think I’d laugh 😂

He doesn't need to try stuff on to be able to see if he needs more socks or another t shirt. Just count them!

YABU. I’d laugh if my DH suggested I do this. I just get clean, presentable clothes out of cupboards and drawers and put them in my case but I only really care about comfort and not style so don’t worry too much about whether things constitute an ‘outfit’ or not.

DH is more interested in style than I am and would probably spend a bit longer than I do packing but he wouldn’t try things on beforehand.

We take a carry-on each, + a small day bag. I don't know why people find it so unusual. It's rare for us to take more these days, unless we're going somewhere by car.

Having said that, I wouldn't be telling him to try on outfits, or how to pack. He's a grown-up, leave him to it.

Yabu. He can pack what he likes.

YABU, I’ve never done this in my life for myself, so micromanaging my husband would be totally weird. If he doesn’t have the right stuff that’s his problem and no big deal.

There are shops in Japan, some of them sell clothes, if you don't have everything you need all you need to is go shopping.

I'm afraid I think YAB massively U. I would not be happy if my husband were wanting me to demonstrate all the outfits I was planning to pack. Though I would put precisely zero thought into my own packing, too - I pack on the day I'm due to leave, and then pack slightly random items. So long as I've got a toothbrush, deodorant and HRT, I'm basically happy.

It sounds like it’s light hearted, not stressful:

He brought up the idea of putting this to a vote. If you vote YABU, he never needs to try on outfits before a trip again. If you vote YANBU, he should check his outfits before trips.

I did a month in Asia with only a carry on. It's easily done.

I tried nothing on before I went. I packed the night before we flew.

If you want to try before you fly, then do it. Your DH is a grown adult who can deal with any problems with his packing when he discovers them.

How controlling are you, that he's asked you to post on an internet forum about this? Do you listen to random strangers more than you listen to him? Poor guy.

And how controlling are those of you who voted to get him to try on the outfits before he flies? There must be so many brow beaten husbands out there. Why do some women think it's their job to make men think and act they way they think and act, rather than let them be themselves and sort themselves out. I despair.

Because we’ll be taking trains and ferries to different places and don’t want to have a lot to lug around. We’re each taking a rolling carryon size luggage and a “personal item” bag with a trolley strap that sits on top. Easy for getting around.

YABU. Why would you need to try everything on? People have kids and you just pack accordingly not make them try everything on.

I mean if you don’t often travel like this you are broadly right, but he’s an adult and can do what he wants.

Don’t mummy him, it must be a turn off all round.

He’s a grown ass man and can make his own choices and do his own packing. If all he wants to do is bring a spare pair of pants and a toothbrush in a Lidl bag then that’s up to him.

I agree, if he is taking outfits that he hasn’t worn for a few months. If he’s taking clothes he wears day to day now then no need to try on.

For my annual summer holiday, I do need to try clothes on as my weight can fluctuate quite a bit.

YABU leave DH to sort out his own packing

I've said YANBU, in that I think he should choose and check carefully to pack 'outfits' and not just a random selection and risk 3 of his 5 shirts clashing with all of his shorts/trousers or something. Which is absolutely something my DP would do.

But I don't think he actually needs to try it all on? Just put careful thought into it.

Agree with PP that is probably best to buy new socks regardless though, as he'll likely have shoes off a lot in public.

Doesn’t he already know which of his clothes ‘go together’? For my DH this would be t-shirt/shirt/trousers or shorts and that’s that really.

He is a grown man. You have to realise this is batshit and controlling, don't you?

If my brother's or any of my male friends were sating someone who suggested this, I would suggest they run...far and fast.

Mental. If you were going to a wedding and he was dusting off a years old suit maybe, just maybe you’d have a point. But trying stuff on to make sure he doesn’t need tshirts or socks aka everyday clothing items is totally unnecessary. Assuming he’s not permanently walking around with bare feet in sandals with shrunken crop tops then have some faith that you’ve coupled with a half way functioning human and back down because you sound really controlling.