DH is going to find out about my CC debt isn’t he.

[Blueskyfordays]

PLEASE, PLEASE not a pile on.

I have £4K of CC debt, tbh I have no idea how I’ve even accumulated it over the years but here we are. Minimum payments are £150 a month, I pay off £200-£250 a month but it has a fairly high interest rate (about £80 a month interest charges) husband doesn’t know, we have separate bank accounts with my wages going into mine and his going into his. I just transfer him money for mortgage and bills.

I have never been on our mortgage, mainly because DH can easily afford the mortgage himself and this house was his before we married. We married a couple of years ago.

Mortgage now up for renewal, he said a couple of months ago he wanted to put me on the mortgage. I didn’t say anything, hoping he’d forget/ change his mind.

This morning, the new provider that he’s gone to a quote for rang him and he said he wanted to put his wife on the mortgage too and I had to give some details, name, DOB, job title, current salary etc.

Between us we earn £98k and we would be looking to take out a mortgage of £240,000.

The man on the phone thanked him for the details and said someone will be in touch.

Will they ask/ tell him about the debt? 😭😭 I know people will say I should have told him/ should tell him but I pay it every month, I’ve never missed a payment, it comes out of my wage and if I was spending £200 a month on clothes and shoes (I don’t!) I wouldn’t tell him, so long as I could afford it.

I was just hoping to get it all paid off in the next 2-3 years with him being none the wiser 😞

Because she is a victim. She said herself, he is financially controlling. Her words. She is backtracking now out of relief, but once that feeling of relief leaves and he steps up his control of her finances, she will be back to feeling the way she was previously.

I think it's you who's trying to rewrite op's history and trying to control the narrative.
Let it go.

I'm relieved for you OP, and glad you have resolved the matter with your dh.

Remember it is his financial controlling that forced you to keep this from him. Don't sink into a fantasy world and re-write history

Oh the irony ...

Glad it went as well as it could, OP, and certainly paying the sum back to DH makes much more sense than being charged huge interest on it

Maybe beware, though, thinking that "It's over" and that you can once again go back to racking up further debt. If at any time you really don't have enough for reasonable spends, that's the time to have a conversation about it together

You're not going to back down from this and you're entitled to your opinion but I'm not sure you championing and encouraging her reckless behaviour is as helpful as you think it is.

Well done, OP! Congratulations for just getting on and doing it, despite your worries . So glad it's turned out OK.

I agree on all counts.
The only thing stopping her being more reckless before was her supposed fear (the fear she didnt have in her original posts).
If she now knows hel sort it for her, and as she still has no intention of being on the mortgage, shes learned nothing.

People are behaving as if OP was a long term victim who saw the light. She panicked because she knew shed get caught. Shes learned nothing.

I have, actually. But you’re entitled to your opinion.

You completely misunderstand me. I am not, nor do I believe anyone else is, championing her behavior. I am saying her husband was the cause of her inability to be honest with him as she was afraid of his reaction. You CAN call a spade a spade and state the truth and fact that her husband is financially controlling, without "championing her behaviour". They are mutually exclusive. I see things from both sides, where as you only see her at fault. That's the difference here.

You comment only on that aspect of my post. weighing in on the main argument throughout the thread of whether or not hea controlling would surely be your first port of call

I don’t think you can be a party to the mortgage unless you are also a co owner of the house as otherwise the bank would have No security to put against the mortgage.

Because it is, as she says in the post you replied to!

You need to get to grips with finances. By not being on the mortgage you’re actually causing issues. You’re married ffs. Are you much younger than him or something?

I WANT to go on the mortgage, it is best for everyone that I do.

I just don’t know if I’ll come up against problems now they’ve asked for 3 months payslips (which I don’t have) and bank statements as obviously I haven’t been Uber careful with my spending the last few months like people normally would be when applying for a mortgage for the first time.

You need to get to grips with finances. By not being on the mortgage you’re actually causing issues. You’re married ffs. Are you much younger than him or something?

I was going to say similar. All I take from this is that you have no financial common sense at all. That's not even about having debt, but from several comments you've made on here. You need to educate yourself!

On what specifically? Yes, I’m not great with finances I know that and am determined to get better from here on in but it would help if people were more specific than ‘you need to get to grips with finances’

Have you looked at the Dave Ramsey financial stuff. Not for everyone but we've found it really helpful. You've asked for something specific so I thought it might help. Your hubby will need to be on board too though.

And your excuse for the last few years?

You dont want to go on the mortgage. That is utterly blatant.

If you need TOLD to be on the mortgage and need told not to rach up 4k worth of debt and create the convoluted weird financial mess,.then that's concerning.

I do want to go on the mortgage.

It’s hardly a financial mess, I’m not in debt on any of those accounts, the opposite. But yes, I transfer money between my personal accounts, hardly a crime but I’m not sure what that would look like to a potential lender.

Having just done a renewal; they literally have your ClearScore or similar open. If you don’t delclare they would ask you about it. Tell him

I dont think you do. Subconsciously or otherwise. I dont think jes financially controlling but I do think somethings afoot. Happy committed people dont behave the way you do.

Will you be able to avoid going into debt again when you become financially liable for the mortgage? That would be my worry. You need to keep proper track of your spending. You can't just keep mindlessly spending because you think you know what's in your account.

Yay! I’m so pleased that you have updated us and sorted it.

If you do decide to go on the mortgage - they will usually go on your salary before maternity pay providing that you are going back to the same hours and salary. Sometimes they just want confirmation from your employer.

xxx

Ahh good news. Glad it went well @Blueskyfordays , and best of luck for thee mortgage, sounds like it will be fine.

You’ve already checked your credit. It’s fine.

Do you not get SMP or anything?

I don’t think they go on just your credit file do they, otherwise I doubt they’d be wanting to see my bank statements.

I don’t know if I’m just being over anxious about my bank statements or not.