To think my daughter is taking a crazy financial risk?

[daufhtercrusus]

Unfortunately my daughter has separated from her partner with a 2 year old. She saved to buy the house they both lived in and both paid half the mortgage after they got together. He is not making any claim on the house as it was a short lived relationship which is fortunate in the circumstances. He has however said he wants not part in my granddaughter’s life which has left my daughter deciding to go part time to four days a week which will obviously reduce her income drastically. I know she will be able to claim maintenance but we don’t know what that looks like and I wouldn’t like her to rely on that. Me and DH both think she now needs to move to find somewhere with lesser mortgage payments, daughter is saying 1,100 for a four bed house is a good deal and it would be pointless moving now. She’s never told us her finances before but I am shocked she is now left paying this, surely this is far too much to pay especially as a single parent? Am I unreasonable to encourage her to downsize and get somewhere which much lesser payments? Her current rate is fixed until 2027 but it is portable. I am very worried for her.

I'm out of touch too now! In my area it's about £1.1k for a 2 bed on a crap area.

Op, is it the fact that she is a single mum? Honestly, some of the best run households I know are single working mums, including me.
It's just been me and ds in our 4 bed house for the last 13 years. My dm still doesn't understand how it can work.Mostly because she doesn't believe I can possibly be earning the money I earn.

Your dd sounds competent and financially sound. Leave her to run her life.

"Property to rent - UK houses and flats to rent - Rent a property" https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent.html

@daufhtercrusus go on this website and put in her postcode. Check what the rents are in this area. We're in N Wales. I looked at rental yesterday. It's more than your daughter's mortgage.

With a four bed house she could rent out two rooms and probably cover a large chunk of mortgage. Not an ideal way to live, but there are ways she can monetise a larger home.

Give her some credit OP. Sounds like she’s a sensible woman doing well for herself. She hasn’t asked you to help her. If my DM was involving herself and flustering about it would make me want to leave some distance between us. Step back and support her decisions!

Presumably she’s done the maths? It would be mad to move right now as she will lose her fixed rate and be paying the same amount for less mortgage.

Her marriage has just imploded, give her a bit of support without being judgmental and trust your daughter to make her own decisions about her own life. She does not need you to put pressure on her.

Going down to four days might be saving her tax and some childcare costs - her call.

Selling, stamp duty, solicitor fees, mortgage repayment costs, if she is on a fixed deal not the time to move now. It is her call not yours. It is an asset and if she needs to rent out a rom or two she can.

Please support her unconditionally. If not your relationship might never recovery.

It’s nice you’re concerned for your daughter but it’s tipped over into astounding levels of nosiness. Putting her finances into online calculators is awful! She’s a grown woman, give her credit to manage her own life. What on earth possesses you to think you should have been told what her repayments were when she bought, or that you would have had any right to comment?!

Nicely, you need to back right off and keep your nose out of a grown adult’s business. She’s your daughter but she’s not a child and if you were my mother you would be put on a diet of absolutely minimal information and contact.

Housing is massively more expensive now than when you bought your place. It doesn’t sound unmanageable to me.

Depends on her income. I’m a single parent and £1100 is less than I pay.

Selling now might mean giving up a good mortgage deal snd potentially making a loss if she only bought recently

I'm afraid I'd be moving heaven and earth to ensure my daughter hung onto that house. That is the key to her and her child's future. That gives her options now, in ten years, in twenty.

And it’s great for you that you and your husband had the luxury of not contemplating repayments of more than £500 a month. In the current age that isn’t a luxury afforded to many people who want to own a home. It’s not something to feel smug about, it’s something to feel grateful that you didn’t have to cope with.

Oh, I remember my parents giving me unsolicited advice about buying my first house, which was a really great buy and now worth many, many times what I paid for it. They just wanted to show how much more worldly and experienced they were and ended up looking like old fools who knew nothing about the current market. Fortunately I totally ignored them.

Fully agree with this.

OP your daughter is clearly a capable woman so maybe you should trust that she knows what she's doing.

You sound spectacularly out of touch if you think a mortgage of £500 is likely these days. So you're really not in a position to offer advice.

Moving now would be utter madness. We’ve just moved to a significantly cheaper part of the country and bought a house for less money then we sold our previous house for. Despite this, our mortgage repayments are hardly dropping due to the rise in interest rates. £500 a month on either rent or mortgage is absolute fantasy these days. Give her some credit and trust her unless you are actually coming up with proper solutions.

You should check out real world prices and keep out of it

And this!

Sorry but you sound very out of touch with the current economic climate and the reality of the housing market. You don’t sound well placed to advise your daughter at all. Perhaps respect her more recent knowledge of buying and selling?

She owns a future proof home on a fixed rate mortgage - selling is the last thing she should do right now if she can manage the payments fine. It would be a silly move financially and one she could likely never come back from. Getting back into the market at the same level is very hard once you have stepped off or stepped back and the very process of doing so would cost her tens of thousands, it would be insanity.

I have adult kids and grandchildren, so I know it’s impossible not to worry, but you still need to mind your own business and stop assuming your daughter is a child or an idiot who can’t manage her own finances.

Thats especially true when you are clearly out of touch about present day housing costs. For exhale, £500 a month would give your daughter a mortgage of £85000, at 5% interest over 25 years.

I live in a cheapish part of the midlands, and could let my oldish 3 bed semi for over £1100 a month. And it costs more to heat than my oldest son’s 4 bed new-build.

You are going to have to leave her to find out. Let her realise be herself. If she asks you for money then advise her to sell

OP you sound like my dad living in the past. If Id listened to him Id still be in a two bed terrace rather than have the properties I own now and retired at 48.

Tip - women dont need a MAN to survive 😂

You don’t need to have the heating on any more just because you have kids 🤷‍♀️ We rent and our insulation downstairs is pretty much nonexistent and we survive with blankets ect.

She is an adult and it’s not up to you to tell her you know best. Moving costs a fortune and she’s in the home she chose to live in; she says she can afford it so I’d leave her to it.
It’s much more supportive to have confidence in your children as adults.

Your daughter sounds incredibly competent and capable. It's not a high mortgage (ours is 3x that), she has paid it herself before. If she does run into difficulties, she can sell and downsize.

Unless she asks for help, back off!

Cor, I would LOVE to hear the DD's post about this situation!!