To think my daughter is taking a crazy financial risk?

[daufhtercrusus]

Unfortunately my daughter has separated from her partner with a 2 year old. She saved to buy the house they both lived in and both paid half the mortgage after they got together. He is not making any claim on the house as it was a short lived relationship which is fortunate in the circumstances. He has however said he wants not part in my granddaughter’s life which has left my daughter deciding to go part time to four days a week which will obviously reduce her income drastically. I know she will be able to claim maintenance but we don’t know what that looks like and I wouldn’t like her to rely on that. Me and DH both think she now needs to move to find somewhere with lesser mortgage payments, daughter is saying 1,100 for a four bed house is a good deal and it would be pointless moving now. She’s never told us her finances before but I am shocked she is now left paying this, surely this is far too much to pay especially as a single parent? Am I unreasonable to encourage her to downsize and get somewhere which much lesser payments? Her current rate is fixed until 2027 but it is portable. I am very worried for her.

Yes I know all this but I didn’t say Op’s D had to downsize right now but without knowing more about D’s income, possibly around £40,000 a year, or her expenditure to keep the house & live it may well be a reality she has to consider in the near future.
2027 isn’t a million miles away & will be here for many of us before we know it 😬

Because she wants a four bed house and she can afford it. We don’t need a four bed house either but here we are. 🤷‍♀️

@AlwaysFrazzled88 would be horrified by me - I have a four bedroom house all to myself (well it’s probably five but I have transformed one of the rooms into a dressing room🫣).

Bloody hell I bet your a judgey DM/MIL

That's her business and nobody else's. Clearly she can afford it.

Are you always this nosy and judgemental?

it may well be a reality - no, vanishingly unlikely, that's just you wishing bad luck on someone.

2027 will be here in exactly 3.5 years. At that point DD age 5 will be in year 1 having had a year at 15 hours free childcare, a year at 30 hours free childcare and a whole year in school; plus the £96 per month child benefit. That's without any income assessed benefits at all. The possibly £40k will have increased, and might have been more than £40k to start with. The mortgage term could easily have be extended with payment holidays to get through the next couple of years if needed. There has been no reason given to think the house has to be sold, and no reason to think this would be financially sensible.

You don't even know me. 🤣 Good luck with the heating bill and the cleaning!

Not really. Just an observation. Why pay for loads of rooms you don't use? Yet it would be viewed differently if your elderly grandmother was in a three bed council house by herself...

Out of interest how many bedrooms do you have? And why does a four bed bother you so much!

I moved from a three bed to a five bed and haven’t noticed a significant increase in cleaning or heating costs!

in fact cleaning is easier because everything. Is more organisated and tidy - more storage!

Working from home - space - a lovely large garden? Lots of people want larger homes and can afford to pay for them. Why not?

I love love love my house. I can have guests and parties when I want - I have a generous sized home office for when I work from home - two good sized guest rooms and a large dressing room. I use the space - and love it.

Exactly this.

In 3.5 years she could significantly increase her salary, depending on her industry (my salary has increased from 40k to 70k in that timeframe, and that’s very average for the sector), or meet a new partner and want to live together.

Anything could happen in 3.5 years!

There is a lot of variety in four bedroom houses.

Big difference between a four double bedroom 2 reception room type place and a four bed townhouse with very limited storage and living space

We rented in south Cambridge (late 20s at the time) before buying cheaper elsewhere and we were paying £1200 a month rent for a 2 bed small semi detached house , that was about 4 years ago. So 1100 mortgage a month for a 4 bed house sounds really reasonable actually and great that she is paying off a mortgage rather than renting and paying into someone else’s pocket like a landlord! Also she has an asset and if meets someone else in the future I’m sure the costs will be shared once again xx

Well seeing as she bought the house on her own I'm sure she's well aware of what the maintenance entails.

I imagine there will be less cleaning required now the partner is out of the picture.

Not sure what your issue is. Jealousy possibly.

£1,100 is normal. I earn similar and could afford to keep my house in the situation described. I wouldn’t be able to save alongside, but I could do it if I cut back on thing and planned. At 32k his maintenance payments will be around £325 a month if he doesn’t want anything to do with child. Equally she could extend her mortgage to being payments down if necessary. I do think YABU to question your daughters choices like this. If you have concerns raise them with your daughter, sit down, talk about it. I think if she can keep the house she would be wise rather than have th costs of moving.

I read it as going from ft to pt ie 5 days a week to 4.

It is precisely none of your business!

She's an adult. It's her life. She hasn't asked you to contribute.

But seemingly your solution is that she takes a much bigger financial risk of trying to sell and buy in the current climate, securing a much smaller mortgage but with much higher interest rates so will likely not make as much impact on her current monthly outgoings which probably is based on a mortgage she fixed when rates were lower, and also pay out all the legal costs, moving costs and stamp duty! That sounds like terrible financial advice!!

You seem to consider downsizing is the right thing to do based on the fact you wouldn't consider paying more than £500 a month. I don't know when you bought your current house but have you been living under a rock for the past 10 years? I also don't know where abouts in the country this is but frankly you can pay more than her mortgage payments to rent one bedroom in a shared house these days, and if you think you can get much for 500 per month in mortgage repayments that must be a tiny tiny mortgage with a ginormous deposit, which frankly given house prices versus wages these days the vast majority of people can't afford.
Sorry OP but your tone has really irked me coming from a generation presumably where house prices were just so much more affordable for perfectly average salaries.

I think we've all explained about modern house prices now. If OP is still reading, she must have got it.

What we haven't covered is the cost of childcare. Does the OP understand the financial difference that one day less a week of nursery can make?

And has she thought about why her daughter might think it's especially important that her two-year-old has another full day with mum a week, after this child has been abandoned by her father?

This. You sound like my mum. She's a big grown woman keep out of it, you don't own your daughter just because you birthed her

Sounds a very reasonable price. Renting a tiny flat near me is a lot more than that. Huge costs involved in moving.

OP last replied more than 48 hours and 10 pages of replies back everyone... Just in case anyone hadn't noticed we're shouting amongst ourselves now 😅

She is an adult and it’s her business, not yours

£1100 for a 4 bedroom house is SO unbelievably cheap.