To think my daughter is taking a crazy financial risk?

[daufhtercrusus]

Unfortunately my daughter has separated from her partner with a 2 year old. She saved to buy the house they both lived in and both paid half the mortgage after they got together. He is not making any claim on the house as it was a short lived relationship which is fortunate in the circumstances. He has however said he wants not part in my granddaughter’s life which has left my daughter deciding to go part time to four days a week which will obviously reduce her income drastically. I know she will be able to claim maintenance but we don’t know what that looks like and I wouldn’t like her to rely on that. Me and DH both think she now needs to move to find somewhere with lesser mortgage payments, daughter is saying 1,100 for a four bed house is a good deal and it would be pointless moving now. She’s never told us her finances before but I am shocked she is now left paying this, surely this is far too much to pay especially as a single parent? Am I unreasonable to encourage her to downsize and get somewhere which much lesser payments? Her current rate is fixed until 2027 but it is portable. I am very worried for her.

Really? Mine is a 5 bed and is the same payment. I live in a really nice, popular area in the south.

Did you buy it in 2000?

I would work full time if I were she and I would stay i n the house. The most important things she needs to do are (a) today do a Land registry search which costs £3 to check legal ownership of teh hosue and see if her partner has tried to register any kind of rights over the house (b) check if they had any written arrangements about house ownership as he might later claim , despite not being married, some kind of equitable interest. Then (c) get a solicitor to draw up a short settlement agreement between them about the house so he does not claim rights to it later.

Her partner should pay CMS rates or they may j ust agree between them he will pay 50% of childcare costs but they should certainly try to get this all agreed idealy in writing and with at least some input from a solicitor.

1100 is not a vast sum so I expect she will be able to afford that mortgage. That is the rent my son gets (before he pays income tax on it) on his 2 bed house he lets out (he lives at home with me) on a small terraced place just outside the M25.

People on this thread are forgetting g about deposits! I have a large home but not a huge mortgage. I bought it two years ago but had a substantial amount of equity for a deposit.

the mortgage repayment will depend on the individual and their circumstances

Even if the dad doesn’t want any part of his daughter’s life (what a terrible, horrid person!) isn’t he still responsible for monthly child support?

$1,100 sounds very reasonable to me, at least where I live, so she will likely not find anything for less/much less than that. Given it’s a four bedroom house, she could ask a friend to move in if finances looked bleak. Sorry she is in this situation but probably for the best since her ex seems like a real piece of 💩!

Yes, yabu. Going from 5 days to 4 is not a drastic reduction in her income. If she is a basic rate taxpayer then she will save all the tax she would have paid on it. If she falls below the threshold to claim UC, then it might not make much difference at all. And, as others have said, her child care costs will reduce.

More of a worry is that her partner was paying half and has now stopped, but she should get child support from him (and maybe is already?).
She hasn't asked you for financial support - if and when she does is the time to have this conversation with her. Until then you should MYOB about her finances and concentrate on giving her emotional and practical support.

Kindly OP, this is your daughter's decision. Leave it to her.

If she asks you for money in the future address that at the time. Don't be worrying now as it is simply not your place and will damage your relationship with your daughter. It's OK to tell her now that whilst you would like to be in a position to help her financially in the future should she need it, you will be unable to afford it and that she should take this into consideration when making her decisions.

Then respect and support her decisions.

You do not sound hugely supportive. It sounds as if your daughter is extremely capable! I would realign your approach to think about how you can positively support your daughter and your grandchild. Fine that you can’t help at all financially but time is money, if she pays for childcare, could you provide one or two days of childcare to offset her costs? It would be lovely for your grandchild too at a time of transition. My advice would be to see your daughter as the successful woman she is and step up to support her in a positive way.