Not being "feminine" does not make me any less female

[orangeleavesinautumn]

I have no boobs, short hair, men's clothes, no make up, very little jewellery etc.

But I am 100% female.

So don't ask me my pronouns. You can see I am a woman

Nobody has ever asked me my pronouns. If it is something you are regularly asked perhaps your sex is not obvious, despite your assertion to the contrary.

It is also only a question, and asked out of consideration. Not hard to answer it, even if accompanied by a snort of derision.

I imagine it’s not that common for a woman to be mistaken for a man or to be asked their pronouns.
If you choose to purposely look ambiguous with your look then you can’t get annoyed when people aren’t sure.
I don’t buy the ‘obviously female face’ like, I think many women could look male with short hair, no makeup and men’s clothes.

Many women? I don’t think so. They would be absolute outliers!

where exactly am I "choosing" anything?

and as I said, several hundred children with no political agenda to push, had no difficulty what so ever identifying me as female last week. One or two from a far distance said "sir" and several hundred other times, even from a far distance, I was called "miss", and from anything less than about 8m, it was 100% "miss".

I look and sound completely female, my face and voice is as female as yours - do people confuse you with men?

Its 2023. It's not that sex isnt obvious, it's because some people choose to "identify" outside of their sex class and create a stink if they are referred to according to their sex and not their identity.

Some people fear "getting it wrong" (right) so now they habitually ask for "pronouns" which is irritating because it implies that if you dont look like a Timotei advert then you must think youre a fella.

The most shocking thing about your post is the "no make up"!!!!

What percentage of women wear make up, do you think? day to day, certainly less than half of the people I come into contact with.

And why should they? What is it about make up that makes it necessary to be identified as a woman? nothing.

It identifies you as a victim of exploitation, stereotyping and misogamy perhaps, if you feel the need to conform to social pressure about a century out of date.

Is that like "if you dont conform to societal expectations of femininity then youre asking for it" ?

Apart from the breasts and the lack of adams apple.

If people aren't sure if you should be addressed as a man or woman perhaps asking for pronouns is the polite thing to do these days rather than risk making a mistake.

Why what happens when a mistake is made? Why are peope so scared of making the mistake ? Normal rational regular peope do not kick off over it.in fact we dont give it head space really.

Worrying about making the mistake is because of narcissistic entitled and aggressive reactions from a small selection of people. People who we shouldn't be pandering to by asking because that's feeding onto the attention seeking and entitlement amd paranoia

If you dress as if you're trying to appear male, people will wonder whether you do in fact want to identify as male.

a mistake is extremely unlikely, although possible if the person making the mistake is partially sighted and hearing impaired, given that I look and sound like a woman.

A mistake is far less offensive than the wild, unfounded assumption that I collude with this political ideology that indulges in this pronoun crap

@electriclight what? How is she dressing as if she wants to appear male?! She is dressing as if she wants to look like herself- a woman who likes some clothes and doesn’t like others… exactly like every other woman.

And even if she is trying to look like a man that doesn’t mean she wants to be one, it just means that she likes that look.

where did I say I was trying to appear male? Why does wearing cheap clothes that fit and have pockets mean I am trying to appear male?

Well you choose how to present yourself, it’s entirely within your control.
There were obviously more kids who thought you were female than male at this event but also you seem to come up against this regularly and have commented on how frequently people ask you your pronouns so the obvious conclusion is that your look isn’t as obvious as you think.

Only stupid people.

@Peacoffeethat your look isn’t as obvious as you think.

My wife gets called ‘sir’ and ‘him’… she dresses in ‘mens’s’ clothes but has 38gg/h breasts. People are really in observant and codify people very quickly.

Or it’s an ideological thing and they think she is trans. Which she isn’t at all.

I have short hair, don't wear make up and live in jeans and men's t shirts a lot of the time. As I said, I've never been asked for my pronouns.

My friend dresses similarly and I'm pretty sure she's never been asked for her pronouns either. In fact no one I know socially has ever mentioned it. A few people I communicate with professionally have their pronouns in their email signature - their choice I suppose.

how exactly am I "choosing" anything? - and yes I am completely, unequivocally and very very clearly female

And frankly what anyone says about you when you are not there is none of your business and you cannot control it.

Try telling that to the TAs.

nothing really to add but just to add my experience!

I am 6ft tall with an essence of brick shit house about me, I am regularly misgendered in genuine error (eg “excuse me sir”) - on a couple of occasions i have been physically attacked by people who assumed I was male

when you are close up to me or hear me speak I am obviously a woman. Mostly people just realise themselves and apologise.

No one on speaking to me in the flesh has ever asked if i am a man or a woman or asked for my pronouns.

my teenage daughter wears trousers and short hair - i think she is asked her pronouns a lot, people also sometimes assume they should refer to her as a male even though she is obviously not

And yet you’ve had many encounters where people ask if you want to be referred to as ‘her’ or ‘him’.
It doesn’t seem like it’s all that clear. I’ve never been asked for my pronouns or called “sir” even from a distance. I don’t know anyone else this happens to either.

Or if they've half a brain, they might wonder if she's just a woman who doesn't want to be bound by anachronistic gender stereotypes about how women should appear.

many female staff are regularly called sir, and from a long distance, with male clothing, short hair and no boobs, there is the occasional mistake, if people can't see me clearly - no mistake from close up though.