Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!

[Hufflemuff]

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

There is no need. But when gifts are given, most of us are pleased about the sentiment.

As a TA I honestly loved the homemade cards best. Chocs or wine were always a win.

I used to feel bad binning, or charity shopping all the keyrings, ornaments, candles or mugs that said "best TA". But I always appreciated the gesture.

YANBU. I never expected gifts when I was teaching but was always grateful and humbled when I received them. I left one school to go to another and was given an advent calendar chocolate by a small child. It was unwrapped and brought in their pocket (it was the 1st December so their first advent choc) - this really touched me and is one of the gifts I will always remember. This teacher sounds like an entitled dick

I remember one year DD wanted to get her teacher something with the teacher's favourite animal on. I suggested a nice tea towel as I figured at least she'd get some use out of it and it wouldn't add to the clutter. DD then picked one out on Amazon. No idea what the teacher thought of it, but hope it went down ok. 🤷‍♀️

The gift giving at my sons school is out of control. His EYFS teacher was gifted an entire new wardrobe of clothes for the end of year. His year 1 teacher got hundreds of pounds in gift cards. It’s the same every year. This year there was a suggested donation of £20-25 each towards holiday vouchers.

We give a thank you card and biscuits for the staff room.

A wardrobe full of clothes? That is so bizarre, did they need them? Did they like them? I would hate people to buy me clothes

Totally agree

why is it even a thing, you do not have to buy the teacher anything just say thanks . dont waste your money

I doubt the other teachers even want the gifts and again it’s competitive parenting and something else to have to think about at the end of term (usually the Mum/) when it’s crazy busy. Everyone should just stop!

My son goes to a very small primary. Leaving next week his older brother also went there. All teach/lunch assistant/ta/secretary help to keep the school running as it should so we have been buying tea/coffee/hot choc/squash/biscuits on the last few shops and are going to give as a whole school staffroom gift. Thought it would be useful for the first few weeks back. I value our school and they are a brilliant team. I didn't feel we had to give a gift - we wanted too.

I think there should be a no present policy for teachers like there is for other public sector workers. I worked for a local authority in a job that involved visiting people in their homes, I was often offered presents and had to decline to accept them. It was against policy, and a disciplinary matter if you were caught accepting gifts.

My friends and me were discussing this yesterday. One of them has emigrated to this country and is shocked that her daughters class was expected to contribute £15-20 per child but did it anyway. Worked out at John Lewis vouchers worth £150 for the class teacher and £100 for each helper in the class then a message went round asking for contributions for the “class reps”as they do such a good job.
Im a grandma and my DGS Is 5. I’ve told my daughter (when asked by her) to write a nice letter and ask her DS to do the same and include a picture. She has also bought hand made lanyards which weren’t too spendy.

The best gift I have had as a teacher ( for 44 years) is a card that said “Thankyou for helping me grow” it’s that sort of sentiment that makes the job worthwhile.

It's definitely competitive. One year group I worked with was mad for this. One parent bought us (teacher and TA separately) flowers, chocolate, prosecco, a personalised plaque, a personalised coaster, notebook, pen, keyring. Any one of those things would have been more than enough. A homemade card is all that's needed. If you are really impressed with the teacher/TA, write to the governors and let them know.

Dd bought her teachers gifts this year as it was A levels and she won't be there next year. They all got a thank you card, Chocolate (she knows which kind each teacher likes) and pen with their initial on top as pens are always getting lost.
I vetoed mugs and gift cards.

I never expect to receive anything. It is nice to get a card. I tend to get ferrero rocher, but I’m unfortunately allergic to nuts. I say a very big thank you and then pass the chocolates along to either my assistant or the office staff. I recently had a clear out of my kitchen cupboards and ended up donating about 10 teachers mugs to the charity shop. My friends ask me what to get for their kids teachers and I tell them to either club together with other parents to get a voucher for somewhere or do a teachers first aid bag… paracetamol, pens, throat lozenges and maybe some chocolates like a multipack of dairymilk. Chuck a miniature of vodka/gin or one of those premixed cans in there as well if you want to.

One of my most memorable presents was 8 sausages from the local butchers son. Brought in greaseproof paper it was an excellent gift!

Please don't feel pressurised by other parents to put money in for us (primary teachers) if you don't want to. On the other hand, please don't think buying a bench/paper/pencils etc for the school is in any way a present for the teacher- it's just filling a hole in government funding in schools.
Also to all of those who seem to take pride in saying they don't see why teachers should get a present for doing their job- yes, you are right there, there is no obligation. But it's not just that is it- (almost) all of us go above and beyond for your children, and a small present or card is an acknowledgement of that.

My daughter has 2 teachers and her week is divided between them. We’ve got 2 pots of retro sweets and wild flower seed bombs in the shape of a heart. I never buy personalised stuff. Last year it was a small silk flower arrangement in a small bell jar. I try not to spend too much or get anything too big and I can imagine it being a bit awkward trying to get all those gifts home.

Do you tip your bin men? Teachers have an easier job than them and get paid better than people working in retail and leisure industry. Just say thanks in person if your kids teacher did a good job. Or have your kid make a card. Don’t buy anything.

It’s a shame about his reaction to the rock and Doritos. I remember hearing a very weepy story about teacher gifts when I was still a child, so it has some dated assumptions, but the point is that you can’t make assumptions about the value of a gift - in either direction - without a good deal of context:

Teacher has a boy in her class who is often late, often distracted, often not quite wearing the right uniform, doesn’t do his homework etc. She usually does her best to help him but is frustrated most days that, although he seems appreciative of her help and does good work with support, the problems persist. She thinks he is essentially naughty and careless. She is counting down the days til he is no longer her problem.

The last day of school arrives and - astonishing - he has brought her a present of sorts. Something wrapped in a carrier bag. She smiles, says thank you, puts it in her drawer. At lunch, she is not certain she wants to touch the gift, but curiosity gets the better of her. She unwinds the bag and finds a half-used bottle of perfume. She almost drops it in the bin in disgust, doesn’t understand why a parent would send a ‘gift’ like that, wonders if it’s some kind of joke? - but pulls herself back remembering that the boy might see it in the bin, and instead puts it into her drawer again.

At the end of the day the boy hangs back to be the last to say goodbye. ‘Miss did you like the perfume?’ She says yes of course, how kind. ‘Miss did you try it on yet? Please try it on.’ Reluctantly, she sprays a little on her wrist.

The boy inhales and says ‘It worked! You smell like my mum. That’s her favourite perfume.’ The teacher is concerned- should he have taken his mum’s favourite perfume from home?

The boy says, ‘It’s ok Miss. Mum died last September. I want you to have it because you’ve been like a mum helping me all year. Thanks Miss.’ And he runs off out of the classroom to start his summer break.

Easier? How so?

My Mom was a teacher and at the end of each year, she got many gifts and was always extremely grateful for being given anything. We had the space to store stuff, so were lucky. When mine were in Prmary, I ended up through doation either paying for a Child to attend school, buying stationary, books etc. We were then sent a card to give saying a donation had been made on their behalf and what it bought. I then attached it to a small box of chocolates, as a token thank you. Most seemed to like that (or were just polite🤣) I would rather make a donation than give the rapping Teacher anything if he's going to be so critical!!

Do you tip in restaurants? Their job is a lot easier than mine, as a teacher.
Of course you don't have to buy a primary school teacher a present at the end of the year. But coming on here to argue that other people shouldn't, seems very mean spirited.
Even after a decade of working in a school where it is the norm, I wouldn't assume to expect a present. A good teacher nurtures and cares for your child, as well as teaches them. Yes it's our job and what we are paid to do, but so many teachers go above and beyond. As cuts to education really bite, so many schools are run on goodwill and people doing stuff they're not even paid to do; I really don't understand the disdain towards teachers in your post.

My youngest school has asked for no gifts for the teachers but if we must to make a donation to the local food bank or give to them and they will. So we are doing that and donating 30 books to the classroom.

I have to say can you imagine getting even 20 “teacher” style gifts a year. My teacher friends like food/drink to share or stuff for the school if you want to gift stuff but the favourite seems to be little cards or pictures done and written by the child.