Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!

[Hufflemuff]

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

The books are brilliant idea!

This is why I never bought teachers gifts... kids just gave them a home made card with a nice personal message in... Probably went straight in the bin!
I sometimes used to buy biscuits or chocolates for the staffroom.

I was listening to this. I thought he sound a right dick.

Yanbu, the teacher should instead have been stressing how gifts are unnecessary rather than complaining about what they got.
A family member of mine is a primary school teacher and she always says no gifts necessary.
I work in a job that sometimes gets gifts from general public, it's lovely to get a gift but we never would expect it and if anyone was worried about money we would say definitely don't waste money on us - we are paid to do our jobs!

I taught in secondary for most of my career and gifts aren't the same there (well they weren't at my school). You maybe got something from some Year 11 say if you had been their form tutor for 5 years, but quite often not even then. So this seems really weird to me. I don't really understand why schools just tell parents no gifts - just cards and letters. I would feel quite awkward receiving gifts tbh.

I understand the annoyance with mugs, but that made me sad about the Doritos, it's the kind of thing that could seem quite special for the child (especially if bought with their own money), and is easy enough for the teacher to pass on if he didn't like it.

I do think gift vouchers are fine if they give everyone a chance to contribute and are ok with any level - in our class we've had plenty of people donate £1 and others donate £20, everyone's names go in regardless of whether they've given in, and teachers are underpaid for all they do.

One of my best presents was a tiny plastic box covered in sparkly stick-on gems because the kid chose it herself. Probably cost no more than a pound. Still have it.

I am a teacher. The very worst, but possibly the cutest gift, was from one of my little ones who, almost at lunch time, told me he had brought me a present from home. He was very excited, and pulled out a damp tissue from his pocket, and unwrapped his pet goldfish for me. Lucky it wasn't a fatality! 😥

We collectively send in pizza and doughnuts for the staff in the last week and leave tat well alone. Seems to go down well.

I mean I can only imagine what a teacher of a few years or more mug cupboard looks like 😅. Common sense maybe to avoid that. I amuses go for chocolates or wine - if they happen to be on a diet or not drink then it's an easy regift or something to offer guests.

My DD worked in 3 schools while she was doing her teaching degree. Ended up with 10 mugs. When she finished at her last school she had so much chocolate, she gave me 3 boxes to take home. And so much bath stuff...
I do think that what I call "disposable" gifts are better. Stuff you can use and it's gone. Things that you can eat or drink, or gift cards. One school gave her an M&S voucher from a group of parents, so that paid for her shopping that week.

Although she's more recently been living abroad and teaching the children of the insanely rich, so came home with gold jewellery and designer perfumes. No complaints about that!

Please don’t worry about giving a rubbish present! My mum was a teacher and she was always uncomfortable with how many presents she would get (she taught in 5 schools at a time so had a lot of pupils) as she knew how much it cost and she really didn’t need another box of Elizabeth Shaw mints!

Most teachers would want you to keep your money to spend on your DC (and if they don’t, well, they’re not very nice people!).

Get DC to make a card and write in their favourite thing they’ve done that year or a special time their teacher did something with them etc then get DC to buy them a packet of sweets etc.

One year, DC’s TA got a pack of giant pickled onion Monster Munch 😃

We’re going to draw on canvass bags this year as one teacher is leaving. I figure everyone needs a shopping bag and from what I know, teachers love a personal gift.

I think he's got a point about the mugs tbf

On, and I usually don’t do end of term gifts but do take in a box of baking during the first week back when everyone is feeling “Uurrrghhhhh”!

My mum was a primary school teacher for over 30 years. She received all sorts of things over the years. I don’t know what she has keep gift wise, she used to particularly like edible presents. However, she has a scrapbook from most of her classes with thank you pictures and cards (and class photos). We used to make it during the first few days of the holidays. She took some to a school reunion a few years ago and people loved looking through them!

Why do teachers need presents at all for doing their job? Any other profession doesn’t get thank you gifts, it’s just become a commercialised thing like Christmas.

Hi,
I usually don't post but just read. I'm a year 5 teacher.
While I don't claim to speak for all teachers and can only speak for me.
You don't need to get us anything, you really don't. I love my job and knowing you trust me with your children is a privilege and reward enough.
If you really want to express your thanks, then email me, you don't need to copy in my head, I don't do my job for praise.
If your children want to draw me a picture, write me a letter then let them. Personally I pin them all up on the notice board above my desk. So the children know I appreciate it.
Please don't feel pressure to spend money you haven't got on me. And if you do have money spare spend it on your children they have worked just as hard as me.

This.

I honestly feel like it needs to be outlawed!

It makes people feel like absolute crap when they can't afford it and (while I agree he's an ungrateful arsehole) teachers don't need that many personalised mugs, or plant pots. A lot of it does end up in charity shops.

So just get rid of the whole notion of gift = appreciation. Go up and actually THANK the teacher for their extra effort (if there was any) or send an email that they'll screenshot and keep if it tugs at their heart.

Where I grew up teacher gifts were illegal. But here we tended to do a class collection then get a voucher thing. Alternatively, my daughter used to make fudge for all her teachers - cheap, personal and always went down well.
That teacher was stupid - while i agree mugs are just too obvious, I hope at least while being given a gift he showed gratitude.

As a former teacher the things I treasured were cards from the children with a little handwritten message. I still have them and remember the children who gave me them.

He sounds awful btw.

Awful! I'm a teacher and I honestly don't expect anything! I do appreciate every mug, candle and box of chocolates I do receive. The best gift is a handwritten card though.

Agree with this! My mum was a teacher and would come home at Christmas and summer loaded down with umpteen boxes of chocolates, bath salts and mugs. Sister and I happily polished off the chocolates. The rest of it was accepted with a smile and thank you card produced for the child, then shipped off to a distant charity shop. I volunteer in a charity shop and we often get donations of "thank you teacher" gifts, many can be resold but not something which says "To Mrs Fabteacher from Olivia 2023". Straight in the bin.

We always used to have a class collection when my kids were at Primary school, people could chuck in as little or as much as they wanted (usually £5 or £10) and one person would go and buy a bottle of prosecco and put the rest into vouchers for M&S or John Lewis.

It's perfectly OK for a teacher to ask parents to stop buying "stuff" they don't want and don't need, and also OK to point out that really, there are only so many mugs one person wants. Specifically calling out presents they have been given in the past as examples of what not to buy is a bit mean though and they could have handled that more sensitively.

Whilst I agree with you that someone should be grateful for any present, I can see the frustration at getting loads of tat at the end of each year. Likewise flowers, when they’re likely to go on holiday the day after breaking up.

I always buy the same thing, as I have about 6 to buy for, they get a £5 voucher from the local cafe. It puts money into the local economy, gets them an appreciative coffee or cake and if they don’t use it, or give it away I’ll never know (and really don’t mind).
It also means they’ve not got to carry awkward things home or remember my children if they don’t want to!

I remember buying the teachers flowers at the end of term in the 2000s and everybody being shocked as to why I would do that? I think we need to go back to those days I’ve ruined it for everyone. I’m sorry by starting it off

Don’t buy them anything - a lovely thoughtful card is enough. Times of austerity too - no one should feel pressure to buy a gift. It’s not compulsory.