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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!

530 replies

Hufflemuff · 13/07/2023 09:23

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

OP posts:
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5
sumayyah · 14/07/2023 18:42

Not a very nice viewpoint from that teacher but I doubt he speaks for the entire profession.
There are a few things that are frequently on sale this time of year that have to be a bit off putting for the teacher to receive in bulk. The teacher mugs, coasters, keyrings etc I'm sure they could fill a cupboard with
I used to do teacher and TA present with a gift card, chocolate etc and a class resource gift but my son had to be moved from mainstream to a special needs unit and now has about 10 teachers so I can't afford to keep that up 😂

I will get a classroom resource and a nice cake from a patisserie for the teachers to share

From my son they will likely get a hug, kiss and a face lick, hopefully they will appreciate the first two 😂

R876c · 14/07/2023 18:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Crystalball12 · 14/07/2023 18:44

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

I think you've posted on wrong thread 🙂

Madsciencecovid2020 · 14/07/2023 18:47

As a teacher who has worked in the state and independent sector the best gift if any are given is a hand written personal card from a student! I don't care about candles , vouchers , hampers etc. I just like it when a kid gives you a card saying they appreciate the effort you have gone to in order to provide support to them. Any teacher that simply expects a quality gift for doing not a lot needs a reality check!!!

thegreylady · 14/07/2023 18:48

A male teacher at a school where I was teaching once made the mistake of mentioning that his favourite sweets were Polo mints! He taught in a large comprehensive and was a PE teacher. His comment spread like wildfire and guess what happened at the end of term. I won’t repeat the Head’s end of term speech or describe the display on the stage but I wish we had had smart phones back then!

R876c · 14/07/2023 18:48

Accidentally posted to the wrong thread. Been a long day. Apologies

Justsu · 14/07/2023 18:59

YANBU
I was a teacher. Towards the end of each school year I made it clear I didn’t want gifts from the children, but would really appreciate a card signed by each one of them. Consequently, I have an amazing collection of cards that I treasure. I wish all teachers would do this.

agent765 · 14/07/2023 19:08

My daughter's school has banned all presents. HUGE relief. Thank you cards made by the students allowed, though.

Violinist64 · 14/07/2023 19:12

I'm a private music teacher who is taking semi-retirement and moving away from the area. I have been given several lovely cards and thank you gifts. The cards made and/or written by the children themselves are my favourites. I particularly like the plants and flowers I have been given and a violin keyring but will also enjoy the chocolates. The only gift that is not to my taste is a box of Guylian chocolates as I don't like nuts. I still thanked the little girl who gave them to me and said how much l was looking forward to them. I will be able to regift them to someone who will appreciate them.

Midsizegal29 · 14/07/2023 19:13

As a teacher who is leaving the profession at the end of the year, I can’t imagine any of my colleagues saying things like that. Loads of my students have said they want to get me something as a goodbye present and I’ve told them all I don’t need presents from them. Undoubtedly there will still be gifts and cards and every single one is unnecessary but absolutely appreciated. I have kept every thank you card I’ve ever received from my students and it makes me smile to look through them! Even if you’re given a gift that you personally don’t like, someone has gone out and spent time and money on you so fake a bloody smile and say thank you!!

simiisme · 14/07/2023 19:25

That's really crass of him.
I had a couple of lovely cards this year (secondary teacher). I also had a cute, sequinned keyring.
The things that have meant the most to me have been thoughtful messages in cards & a few lovely emails from parents - I've saved them all.

oakleaffy · 14/07/2023 19:26

The rock present sounds so sweet!

What an R.Sole of a teacher.

MrsHamlet · 14/07/2023 19:28

My best present this year is a chain of paperclips and a note that came with it. Any student I've taught would understand why.

OoohLaLaLa · 14/07/2023 19:29

I’m not convinced it was a real teacher- just more anti- teacher rhetoric being whipped up by the media!

I’ve had a lovely gift this year- the parents of a child I’ve taught have sent a letter to the governing body asking if I can teach him again next year.

Lovely to be appreciated! Wine is also a winner though…

Maireas · 14/07/2023 19:31

I've never heard a teacher talk like that in my 40 year career. He is not typical.
Any gift is an unexpected bonus. Cards are lovely. Most of us expect nothing and it's no problem.

oakleaffy · 14/07/2023 19:31

Hufflemuff · 14/07/2023 12:30

Aww that's horrible!!

Show quote history

@MaggyNoodles Your lovely son..That horrible teacher...What a mean spirited woman.

Maireas · 14/07/2023 19:37

MrsHamlet · 14/07/2023 19:28

My best present this year is a chain of paperclips and a note that came with it. Any student I've taught would understand why.

I expect another nice card would be "it's years since I was in school and I've no idea how exams are marked so I'm just going to leave it to trained professionals rather than make batshit remarks".

MadeInYorkshire69 · 14/07/2023 19:38

Ex-teacher here. A thank you card is lovely enough - gifts definitely not essential !

labsgalore · 14/07/2023 19:38

Perhaps he needs to be reminded he gets a wage every month to do his job and is not owed gifts to do it.

Maireas · 14/07/2023 19:38

Emails from parents are great, and I'm always touched that they've taken the time to do that. Much appreciated.

Maireas · 14/07/2023 19:39

Cards are lovely. That's enough.

pimplesquisher · 14/07/2023 19:40

I'm happy for anything I get! My schools are in deprived areas and any gift is a sacrifice for the families.

SoHereBesMe · 14/07/2023 19:40

We're already finished up for summer.
My dds made their teachers cards and jewellry (nothing fancy, but made with love)
I bought the card making materials for them, and left them to it. It's a gesture more than anything else and I don't believe parents should be pressurised into big gifts.

I do see where he was coming from with mugs though.... only space for so many mugs in the cupboard. But that's not something I'd share if I was the possible recipient of 100s of mugs from grateful parents, if that makes sense?

MrsHamlet · 14/07/2023 19:40

Maireas · 14/07/2023 19:37

I expect another nice card would be "it's years since I was in school and I've no idea how exams are marked so I'm just going to leave it to trained professionals rather than make batshit remarks".

Show quote history

Definitely.
My students are VERY well aware of the rules and the need to not piss off the examiner by writing in the margin! 🤣

Justontherightsideofnormal · 14/07/2023 19:41

If you want to buy a teacher a gift play it safe....... chocolate or wine. Simple.

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