To think this has moved into bullying territory?

[BurnsBurnsBurns]

On Tuesday I was accused of ruining a colleague’s pregnancy announcement. I of course apologised at the time but they wouldn’t let it go and started bringing up various times that I’ve apparently ruined other people’s “news”. I have spoken to my manager who has suggested I just get on with my work and let it all settle down but the atmosphere is now awful. Yesterday everyone was being really off with me all day and today I really can’t face going in. I’ve apologised, it wasn’t done on purpose or with malicious intent so AIbU to think if they continue with this it is actually verging on bullying now? I really don’t want to go in today :-(

My DH always says opinions are like arseholes, everyone has got one … isn’t he clever and witty?

Not particularly aimed at me? Are you having a laugh?

That’s like me saying “my husband hates people who bring out the eleverife line … but this isn’t at all aimed at your husband”

OP just take a step back and ask yourself is this helping me?

OP, we don't have the other side of the story. Maybe your colleagues are all arseholes. But it seems pretty clear that your social behaviour has room for improvement.

Maybe your next job will be with lovely people. In which case, don't you want to learn from all of this and be ready to go into your new workplace armed with better social skills so you can get along well with them?

Name calling is not ok. If your manager won’t put a stop to it get signed off on stress leave, and quit.

If you stay don’t socialise, just do your job. Don’t do any extra, just what you have to.

@BurnsBurnsBurns something is definitely going on, but I don’t thing it’s specifically the pregnancy announcement.
By your account you didn’t actually interrupt it.
We can’t tell, and maybe you also can’t tell, whether you’re in a toxic office and have been labelled, or whether you unknowingly have many mildly irritating behaviours.
May I ask, is it possible that you may be on the autistic spectrum or have adhd?

I’m sure you’ll be incredibly grateful for me pointing out what a series of vile, bitchy and arsehole comments you’ve made.
They’ve added nothing to the discussion except the increased feeling that OP is under a targeted attack.
If you need to make anonymous comments to people like this, perhaps look at what is making you so unhappy in your real life. Consider why your need to feel belonging and validation is to reliant on treating someone else so badly.
I hope that was constructive enough 😊

Read the room OP and keep to yourself. You clearly struggle to understand social cues

Thing is she tried that and got told it was causing “bad feelings”. Sounds like she can’t do right for doing wrong.

I was sort of on the fence up until the elevenerife comments. Exhausting and petty to go on and on about like that about a throwaway remark made on an anonymous forum. I can see where your colleagues are coming from OP, if you're like that in real life.

What kind of place do you work that people "announce" their pregnancy?

IME people tell their closest colleagues and then it just filters out

Your workplace sounds extremely childish to me with announcements and preciousness re conversation topics

She’s not “going on” about it. She’s replying to posts, like yours, which are bringing it up.
One person posted a snide comment. OP replied in an equally snide way. Ten people jumped on to berate her. OP has replied to a handful of them.

I find the importance this has taken on quite ridiculous.
I can only assume that many people posting on here don't actually work with other people and confine their social interactions to a small group of like minded people.
Back in the real world, people are all very different and in a typical office you'll encounter all types of behaviour that doesn't fit your ideal.
I have a colleague who does indeed have to top everyone's news. I have another who talks about nothing but his hobby, completely oblivious that someone else might wish to speak. Another always takes two biscuits without checking there's enough to go round. Someone else constantly references their child at a RG uni and tells us how poor the establishments our DC attend are...
Yes, it's annoying, but given we're there to work, we accept that colleagues foibles are a minor irritant in the scheme of things.
To go to the length of complaining about this is an extreme overreaction, and to follow it up be being 'off' with the person childish and spiteful. If prolonged and leads to exclusion of the OP because she's hasn't behaved in the socially preferred way, it could indeed be considered bullying.

I think sometimes people who have social skill problems can become really bitter towards those that don't. I've seen it before where people start picking on examples of completely normal behaviour and conversation. I guess it can feel good to do that in the moment but it doesn't exactly build bridges.

OP obviously I don't know if this is true for you, it's just something I've observed a lot.

I think you sound quite fun OP 😂

ignore the office bitches ....can't believe they complained about you.

pg announcement for a colleague is nice but not earth shattering and probably on a par with an offer o.a house being accepted

i also can't stand it when someone decides to tell us what their bloody husband thinks - I showed my husband this thread and he definitely said you were u reasonable give over - tell us what you say or think who gives a shit what ya fella says

Exactly! That’s what annoyed me, why would I give a shit what her husband says!! Add to the annoyance that her bloody husband is only copying a saying he’s heard others saying! 😂

So I should just take snide comments from someone about what their bloody husband says and not respond? You’d fit right in at our place!

It does seem odd that you're so worked up over an Elevenerife comment on Mumsnet, but not over ruining people's moments in real life.

The other day my colleague was showing pictures of her new grandchild. John had a look, said 'Cute. Wait till you see my new baby...' and proceded to show a picture of his car.
Intend to be encourage everyone to be very off with him from now on!
(Also drafting letter of complaint now have learned from this thread behaving like a bit of a dick is a matter for management intervention.)

Au contraire, he's probably headed for directorship!

It’s not elevenerife … it’s “my husband says” that has wound me up. Wouldn’t be so bad if he’d come up with something original

Reminds me of the time someone posted “as my brother always says, no shit Sherlock”

She then went on to use that phrase in other posts like her brother had invented it

It's only her WORK colleagues that found out slightly prematurely it's not the end of the world. She should get over herself.

To be fair, "as my husband always says" does not imply a claim that he invented it. Just that he always says it. That's kinda how sayings become sayings... people always saying it.

You are getting very hung up on this. Like a dog with with a bone (as I always say but - disclaimer - did not invent). In a similar way to your colleagues getting hung up on your thunder stealing.

Good God - still talking about Elevenerife?! Time for someone to interrupt with a house announcement.
@BurnsBurnsBurns - congrats on your house offer being accepted! That’s fantastic news - I hope the purchase goes through smoothly. x

😂Ineed.

still talking about Elevenerife?!

Yes, apparently you are