To think this has moved into bullying territory?

[BurnsBurnsBurns]

On Tuesday I was accused of ruining a colleague’s pregnancy announcement. I of course apologised at the time but they wouldn’t let it go and started bringing up various times that I’ve apparently ruined other people’s “news”. I have spoken to my manager who has suggested I just get on with my work and let it all settle down but the atmosphere is now awful. Yesterday everyone was being really off with me all day and today I really can’t face going in. I’ve apologised, it wasn’t done on purpose or with malicious intent so AIbU to think if they continue with this it is actually verging on bullying now? I really don’t want to go in today :-(

This is one of those times I really wish I could hear the other side to the story too.

She did this on several occasions and now they don’t trust talking to her thinking she going to interrupt or be rude! And to have to sit with someone all day long trust is needed. It’s not a big deal and should’ve easily fixable.

@BLT24 or.. someone whipped them into a frenzy with complaints and gossip and they're playing into it? Why should OP trust them?

Agreed. I will admit I thought the same.

OP, I think you’ve managed to be very restrained here against a number of posters who are clearly looking for a fight.

In regards to your colleagues, I think they’re bonding over disliking you. It’s pathetic but it’s common and very basic human nature. Rise above it and start looking for a new place of work.

Sadly, many people need to put other people down in order to bolster their own self esteem and feeling of belonging.

The incidents the OP has explained actually happened, they were not made up. She said they were exaggerated though. It’s very unlikely that everyone else is making this up.

The relationship needs to be repaired. There is wrong doing on both sides. They should absolutely apologise for their bad behaviour too. But the goal surely should be to repair the relationship and move forward.

But what you’re not hearing about is all the times I’ve been talked over, interrupted, laughed at etc etc. I won’t list them as we’d be here all day and I’d be accused of being an elevenerife drip feeder but as always, it’s not one sided at all.

regarding the pregnancy, admittedly I wasn’t really listening to the conversation so didn’t realise I was interrupting something important

This doesn't make sense because you said in a later poster you did congratulate her on her pregnancy then went back on your phone.

I think half of the threads on here are full of shit.

I stopped listening to the conversation as soon as I’d said my congratulations which I made very clear

Oh, so you don't know it was either? How STRANGE! You were so excited at making a snide comment when I said that we didn't know if the pregnant colleague had complained, but it turns out you didn't know either. 😂😂😂😂.

I didn’t say it was one sided. I said apologise for your behaviour and get management to deal with their bad behaviour because it is not acceptable the way they are treating you. All parties need to come together to sort this out, you don’t punish bad behaviour with more bad behaviour otherwise it’ll never be resolved?

The relationship needs to be repaired. There is wrong doing on both sides. They should absolutely apologise for their bad behaviour too. But the goal surely should be to repair the relationship and move forward

But are* they *(by which I mean OPs colleagues) going to be on board with that goal? I think OPs plan of disengaging is the best way forward. They can crack on and she doesn’t get involved.

OK, so you weren't interested beyond that point and the others were. I'm not saying you did it on purpose but you probably were annoying blurting out your news when then were talking.

Who were you talking to when you said about the house?

I agree with you, think is I did apologise for my behaviour. Hell will freeze over before they apologise for theirs. They see me as the weird one who likes weird stuff and therefore can be spoken to however they like. It’s been the same ever since I started working there. It was 6 months in before I even dare speak out normally there because they’re all such big characters. I don’t fit in and the more I’ve tried, the more I’ve outed myself as being weird.

Erm this is not you being ‘bullied’ this is you being socially inept

I don’t know if they will be on board. If they aren’t then the company should deal with it.

Nobody in particular … or anyone that would listen I suppose

Oh, so you don't know it was either? How STRANGE! You were so excited at making a snide comment when I said that we didn't know if the pregnant colleague had complained, but it turns out you didn't know either

Yes, it’s all VERY STRANGE

I think you need to take your boss's advice. It is obvious that your colleagues don't like you, I don't think there is much you can do to change their minds but as you mentioned that this has been a recurring theme since primary do you not think that you might be the problem rather than your colleagues "exaggerating" things

People in general are really unforgiving of poor socials and I'm not convinced a big gesture like buying chocolates would do any good. Agree that disengaging with the colleagues is probably best.

There is some good advice here for how to navigate social situations like never making the first negative comment. Focus on that OP as it might improve your future relationships with others.

What steps have you take so far to resolve the issue? If you haven’t already I would escalate this to management and then escalate further if required.

@BLT24 I never said they were made up. They didn't have to be for someone to keep bringing them up making it worse than it was and present in people's minds. Add in a bit of exaggeration, some extra offence,maybe a tear or two and you have enough to turn the tide.

I've seen it happen quite a few times at work, plenty of times undeservedly.

Just to clear up the ongoing argument … it was NOT the pregnant woman who complained. It was the usual office dons

*social skills

Just to clear up the ongoing argument … it was NOT the pregnant woman who complained. It was the usual office dons

Uh ho