To think this has moved into bullying territory?

[BurnsBurnsBurns]

On Tuesday I was accused of ruining a colleague’s pregnancy announcement. I of course apologised at the time but they wouldn’t let it go and started bringing up various times that I’ve apparently ruined other people’s “news”. I have spoken to my manager who has suggested I just get on with my work and let it all settle down but the atmosphere is now awful. Yesterday everyone was being really off with me all day and today I really can’t face going in. I’ve apologised, it wasn’t done on purpose or with malicious intent so AIbU to think if they continue with this it is actually verging on bullying now? I really don’t want to go in today :-(

@BurnsBurnsBurns
When did u say he invented it. God if you're like this at work you would do my head in

Sorry I meant when did I say he invented it

Try being very very quiet. It sounds like your colleagues do not want to hear from you and they may have very good reasons

You do like the word 'tedious' don't you? I imagine it's one you hear a lot.

Still waiting 😂

Still waiting

why? I did as you asked a while back.

I mean why constantly harass me for a quote when I’ve given you one. If you don’t agree with what I’m saying, then you don’t agree.

Calm down the op has done nothing wrong are you normally this sensitive she meant nothing by it. Do you think she shouldn't defend herself and hide? The poster said her husband uses it so what the op should say nothing. Is alright for you to give it to the op but not back. Stay out of the ring if you can't handle the fight. What you read as unkind I saw it as a joke but if we are to get serious why react so badly to something so trivial? Are you okay?

What did you expect back you obviously posted it to her to be unkind. Bored are you?

The poster said her husband uses it so what the op should say nothing.

Why does she need to make a belittling comment about the fact her husband uses the phrase?

I have a few things to say but ultimately I'm on your side, so just to lead with that.

So firstly though I can see how this has come across badly. Particularly the pregnancy announcement situation.
I think regardless of whether the group conversation was important or just idle chit-chat, just suddenly interrupting a group of people talking is always going to come across as rude and self-centred, especially if you have been sat back disengaged on your phone beforehand. Kind of like you're not interested at all until you want an audience to listen to you.
It's kind of like how a child runs up to a group of adults and says LOOK look I've drawn a picture and demands immediate attention. Really try see it that way and I'm sure you will appreciate why it's not the done thing.
I absolutely don't believe you're doing it to 'one man up' (or 'elevenrife') them though, I think that's the sort of reasoning they have come up with to attach malicious intent to what you have done and that's where I think it sounds really unfair and toxic.
Yes you have been thoughtless, and yes it might well be part of a wider habit that you need to address and become aware of socially, but that doesn't make you a monster and doesn't give them a right to gang up and start a witch hunt.
It does sound sadly like your face doesn't fit at work, and someone else could have done what you did and everyone would have jumped to congratulate them on the new house. Which would also have been unfair on the first person who was mid way through speaking.but that's social dynamics for you and they're rarely fair.
I can see why you would be feeling awkward, upset and singled out here.
Hopefully it all dies down (it is all very recent!). If it persists though - where people become hyper focused on all your perceived 'social mistakes' going g toward then I think a manager needs to step in and remind everyone that you're all primarily there to do a job and you're not there to police each others personalities or make anyone feel uncomfortable.
I would also try remember these people aren't your friends, and probably sadly not that interested in your news (happy or sad) so probably just try to keep things civil and bland at work and save that stuff for people at home who love you for who you are.

Also just to add for those saying a wasp phobia can just be 'controlled' and not to react like that.... the whole point of a phobia is that it is completely irrational!!! You don't get to chose how to react in that moment. Of all the examples that's the only one where OP had no choice how she reacted!
And to compare a wasp in the office to a dog/spider in the office is just silly. I would assume a dog would be on a lead in an office and spiders move so slowly that it's just no where near as surprising/urgent/threatening as something that can fly fast in your face and swarm around your head. Must be so easy to look down on other people's phobias when you don't experience them yourself 🙄

Well I must say, people that quote their DH … who is actually quoting an age old saying as though they are incredibly witty … do my head in. If he ever says anything original, let me know

Are you bored?

Keep talking and I will be.

This. Seems a bit dramatic

teaandtoastwithmarmite
@BurnsBurnsBurns
When did u say he invented it. God if you're like this at work you would do my head in

What did you expect back you obviously posted it to her to be unkind. Bored are you?
Are you bored? Clearly you are

@BurnsBurnsBurns what the hell is your problem? I'm out

You do sound like you try to make everything about you to be honest.

Are you normally this pleasant.

Well I think we've just discovered what her colleagues all see anyway...

She's an intelligent woman who can see right through you.

@Carpediemmakeitcount I'm not sure what your problem is but you sound like you are enjoying causing trouble. I'm a lovely person so clear off and leave me alone

This thread is Office Nadine Dorries.