Page 14 | To think this has moved into bullying territory?

tunbridgeoutrage · 13/07/2023 11:32

MrsElsa · 13/07/2023 06:46

Oh dear. You sound like my mum.

It's ok to admit that deep down you don't give a shit about other people's news by the way.

Nothing worse than forced work bollocks that has nothing to do with work.

But you might want to start playing along for your own benefit (keep the job)

I have never heard of someone being sacked for "spoiling" good news announcements.

readbooksdrinktea · 13/07/2023 11:34

LemonsOnTheMelons · 13/07/2023 06:22

Well if you’ve been accused of repeatedly ruining news there’s probably some truth in it and hopefully this will be a wake up call to get some social graces.

This.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 13/07/2023 11:34

tunbridgeoutrage · 13/07/2023 11:31

But ostracising someone in the workplace is bullying. When you single a colleague out like that it is unprofessional

The issue of "spoiling" other people's news has been dealt with and has nothing to do with performance at work. They need to talk to OP in order to work with her. Ignoring her for this reason is really not on.

OP you need to talk to HR. IF this behaviour continues you should raise a grievance. This should be done confidentially and a good HR department will be able to deal with it with tact and care.

Show quote history

But we don't know that the op is being ostracised, all we know is that they are being 'off' with her, we don't know what that looks like, it could simply be small groups now deciding not to have personal conversations around the op, that's not bullying.

tunbridgeoutrage · 13/07/2023 11:42

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 13/07/2023 11:34

But we don't know that the op is being ostracised, all we know is that they are being 'off' with her, we don't know what that looks like, it could simply be small groups now deciding not to have personal conversations around the op, that's not bullying.

Show quote history

Yes, you're right about OP not being ostracised. I think I was reading that into it.

OP could still raise a grievance around dignity at work if they continue to be "off" and keep telling her how she ruined previous social events. The fact that OP doesn't want to go into work speaks volumes.

OP, write down every single incident where people are being "off". Write down what they say; are they not responding to requests? are they being rude? Write it all down with times and dates etc, then send a confidential email to your Manger with details of the "incidents". They may not take any action, but at least it will all be documented.

WandaWonder · 13/07/2023 11:43

tunbridgeoutrage · 13/07/2023 11:31

But ostracising someone in the workplace is bullying. When you single a colleague out like that it is unprofessional

The issue of "spoiling" other people's news has been dealt with and has nothing to do with performance at work. They need to talk to OP in order to work with her. Ignoring her for this reason is really not on.

OP you need to talk to HR. IF this behaviour continues you should raise a grievance. This should be done confidentially and a good HR department will be able to deal with it with tact and care.

Show quote history

You only know the ops version of what is going on

horseyhorsey17 · 13/07/2023 11:51

tunbridgeoutrage · 13/07/2023 11:42

Yes, you're right about OP not being ostracised. I think I was reading that into it.

OP could still raise a grievance around dignity at work if they continue to be "off" and keep telling her how she ruined previous social events. The fact that OP doesn't want to go into work speaks volumes.

OP, write down every single incident where people are being "off". Write down what they say; are they not responding to requests? are they being rude? Write it all down with times and dates etc, then send a confidential email to your Manger with details of the "incidents". They may not take any action, but at least it will all be documented.

Show quote history

Not sure that's a great idea in an office where her colleagues already think she's an attention-seeking narcissist who can't cope with anyone else getting the slightest bit of attention. Her accusing everyone of bullying her and escalating it to management is unlikely to a) change their opinion of her or b) make her work environment less toxic.

MySugarBabyLove · 13/07/2023 11:53

This reminds me of a company I used to work for. As part of people’s three monthly reviews the whole team were approached to give feedback on the individual, and it turned into an opportunity for people to air their personal grievances and dislikes against the person.

I was a secretary so used to type up all the review notes as well as the feedback, and honestly some of it was awful, along similar lines: “so-and-so joins in on private conversations without being invited (said private conversations were usually being shouted across an open plan office); “so-and-so is far too quiet and difficult to talk to.”; “x always refuses coffee and drinks water instead. This is upsetting to the person making the coffee as they just want to do a nice thing,” and so on.

The whole culture of the office was one of bullying and bitchiness. It was a company which prided itself on what a wonderful workplace it was, when actually it was a hideously toxic place to work.

The OP’s company sounds very much like this, and yes, being off with someone days after daring to announce that you’ve bought a house just as someone else was announcing their pregnancy is petty and pathetic.

I wouldn’t go to HR, I would look for another job.

sheworemellowyellow · 13/07/2023 11:56

This doesn’t sound like bullying at all.

This sounds like a group of self-absorbed people in close quarters. You’re all behaving childishly.

Plbrookes · 13/07/2023 11:56

Sugaristheenemy · 13/07/2023 10:47

So you'll have no problem providing the relevant quote then 😂😂😂😂

“On Tuesday I was accused of ruining a colleague’s pregnancy announcement. I of course apologised at the time but they wouldn’t let it go and started bringing up various times that I’ve apparently ruined other people’s news”

No, no! The quote identifying the pregnant colleague as the complainant. You said it was in the OP! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

RichardMarxisinnocent · 13/07/2023 12:02

Toddlerteaplease · 13/07/2023 07:08

People 'announce' their pregnancy at work? Doesn't it sort of just become knowledge without a formal
Announcement. Certainty does at my work.

Exactly what I was thinking. The women who have been pregnant where I work have never formally announced it. It either has just become knowledge as they tell one or two people and the word gets around, or if it's a colleague I have a closer relationship with they have occasionally told me individually.

BadDecisionsMade · 13/07/2023 12:05

RosesAndHellebores · 13/07/2023 09:10

@MadKittenWoman @CurlewKate I am glad you liked it. We all have different experiences. I went 37 years ago and didn't enjoy it - it may have changed and I know lots of people who think it's great. Had I gone with different people with different attitudes and who were prepared to spend some money and have some fun, it might have been different

Just an example of not dissing other people's plans because we are all different and like different things.

We went two years ago and hated it! Beautiful yes. But way way too many tourists (including us) and worse, full of influencers doing photo shoots.
i imagine it’s much better off-season.

wholivesondrurylane · 13/07/2023 12:06

RichardMarxisinnocent · 13/07/2023 12:02

Exactly what I was thinking. The women who have been pregnant where I work have never formally announced it. It either has just become knowledge as they tell one or two people and the word gets around, or if it's a colleague I have a closer relationship with they have occasionally told me individually.

Show quote history

According to the OP, There were 5 people talking about it, I was sat a bit further away eating my lunch and on my phone. I wasn’t involved in the conversation.

I am not sure why posters translate that as "a big formal announcement".

It was rude to interrupt shouting about having an offer accepted. That was unnecessary.

Scienceadvisory · 13/07/2023 12:11

RichardMarxisinnocent · 13/07/2023 12:02

Exactly what I was thinking. The women who have been pregnant where I work have never formally announced it. It either has just become knowledge as they tell one or two people and the word gets around, or if it's a colleague I have a closer relationship with they have occasionally told me individually.

Show quote history

But that is what happened here. The pregnant woman told 4 of her colleagues. She didn't make a massive announcement to the whole company.

Sugaristheenemy · 13/07/2023 12:12

No, no! The quote identifying the pregnant colleague as the complainant. You said it was in the OP

?????

MsRosley · 13/07/2023 12:15

cansu · 13/07/2023 06:42

Since when do adults complain at work that their colleagues ruin their news! Is this for real?

I'm also struggling with this. No one needs to make 'major' announcements at work. Colleagues are not your adoring captive audience, ffs.

FluffyFlannery · 13/07/2023 12:16

Stay quiet, head down and look for a new job. Unfortunately recovery from this will be hard - although I feel it's unjustified.

StellaJohanna · 13/07/2023 12:20

Having good manners is about knowing that everything is not about your news, your feelings, your fears or your experiences. Put other people FIRST in interaction and always be considerate of them. Also, work colleagues are not friends which is why is is even more important to behave yourself and rein in your impulsive outbursts. Someone who is really, genuinely well-mannered is a pleasure to work with and be around. Be that.

GrinAndVomit · 13/07/2023 12:21

Scienceadvisory · 13/07/2023 12:11

But that is what happened here. The pregnant woman told 4 of her colleagues. She didn't make a massive announcement to the whole company.

Show quote history

So a small group of women were quietly talking and a woman at another table spoke a little louder?
Who gives a shit?

DemonicCaveMaggot · 13/07/2023 12:23

Does anyone at your office actually do any work or do you all spend most of your time sitting around sharing news and screaming and shouting?

If I were your boss I would be looking at productivity and talking to people about focussing on their jobs - which I think they actually did with you.

wholivesondrurylane · 13/07/2023 12:24

GrinAndVomit · 13/07/2023 12:21

So a small group of women were quietly talking and a woman at another table spoke a little louder?
Who gives a shit?

Show quote history

sounds like it was more than "speaking a little louder", that's the point.

Boltonb · 13/07/2023 12:25

I don’t believe this is true. Nobody is so obnoxious and self centred multiple times, surely?

GrinAndVomit · 13/07/2023 12:27

wholivesondrurylane · 13/07/2023 12:24

sounds like it was more than "speaking a little louder", that's the point.

Show quote history

I think people who get wound up by stuff like this, tend to spend their lives looking for reasons to be wound up and to have a target for their internal frustrations.

Plbrookes · 13/07/2023 12:32

Sugaristheenemy · 13/07/2023 12:12

No, no! The quote identifying the pregnant colleague as the complainant. You said it was in the OP

?????

Oh, you seem to have forgotten your post from this morning. I've copied it below to be helpful. Now, where's the quote you were going to provide? 😂😂😂😂

Sugaristheenemy · Today 09:10
[plbrookes] OP hasn't claimed that the pregnant colleague (congratulations if you're reading this btw!) complained. I've worked with people who have always needed to be the centre of attention and it gets old quickly.

[Sugaristhenemy] err..have you actually read the thread? Or the OP even? 😂

Sugaristheenemy · 13/07/2023 12:34

Oh, you seem to have forgotten your post from this morning. I've copied it below to be helpful. Now, where's the quote you were going to provide

what are you on about ?

PuddlesPityParty · 13/07/2023 12:36

Sugaristheenemy · 13/07/2023 12:34

Oh, you seem to have forgotten your post from this morning. I've copied it below to be helpful. Now, where's the quote you were going to provide

what are you on about ?

Shes clearly asking for you to quote where the OP said it was the pregnant colleague had complained. It’s quite obvious what’s she asking.