To think £45 for a friend’s birthday lunch is a bit much?

[squalifalia]

Friend invited us to her birthday lunch. We live about 90 minutes away. She is probably the only ‘influencer’ I know in real life.

I asked her what the birthday party was, and she just said lunch at 2pm. I didn’t think much more about it, and said we’d come. I assumed it’d be lunch in a pub.

Turns out she had hired a marquee at a posh pub. I got sent the menu to pre-order from. It’s three courses and £45 without drinks. I’ve been to the pub before and it was shite and a pint was over £7. So if I split a bottle of wine or get a glass with a friend, I’ll be looking near £60. Plus I have to pay for my transport there.

She wants you all to pay to create images of fabulousness for her social media. Haaahaaaa. Yeah no thanks. I'd want her to pay me thanks.

So you have to pay £45, plus drinks in a pub that you thought was shit, and you are going to have to look over the moon doing those fake, open mouthed grins for the instagram photos?

I’d pull out.

I don't think it is a red herring. Being an influencer, she'll be creating an event for photo opportunities for her social media. Fabulousness costs money so she's created a fabulous looking event, asking friends to pay all do she can post images of celebration and what a massive success she is to her followers. It's not about spending time with her buddies. It's about furthering her SM profile. At her friends cost

Not sure what you are asking here. I think that price is quite normal but I would only be happy paying it if the food was good. If money is tight then you should have asked for more details before accepting the invitation. You could still cancel surely? Only you can decide if you can afford it or are happy to pay it. If not then don’t go. 🤷‍♀️

Don't go then?

I think that's pretty reasonable for a special occasion lunch. It would be around here anyway.

I would not want to pay £45 for a horrible meal. I live in Wiltshire and an extremely good pub lunch could run to that for three courses - but it would be delicious.

Either decline or be busy and only available for dessert or drinks afterwards.

That's a lot for a lunch. I could afford that, but still wouldn't pay it. It's £5.99 for a lunchtime carvery where I live. Like fuck would I pay nearly £50 for a lunchtime meal. Including drinks and transport, it could be £70. NOPE. Especially for someone I'm not arsed about.

Ask her for a discount and you will advertise how fabulous she/venue is.
But seriously, just message, 'bit too rich for me these days, have a great time. Catch up soon. xx'

It's not an unreasonable cost for a 3 course meal, and you are warned in advance.

If you feel it's too much, don't go.

It's £5.99 for a lunchtime carvery where I live

I am not sure I can even get a McDonald for that. I can't imagine the quality of the food for that price

"Influencer" my arse.

The polite version: "So sorry, friend - I realised when I came to put your party on the calendar that I've already got an appointment then. Hope you have a lovely day".

I know what you mean OP. I tried to get a bag of batter bits at my local chippy in Oxford last Friday night when I was pissed but they threw me out. I don’t know what the world’s come to. I offered them half a crown for it!

Don't go then. But sounds fine to me.

£5.99 for a carvery lunch, no thanks 🤢

Would you have paid that for an evening meal out? If so, treat it like that and don't eat in the evening. Its a 3 course meal, so irrelevant if its eaten at lunchtime or evening time really. If its too much for lunch, skip breakfast so you're hungry enough?

You sound fun.
€5:99 for a carvery...no thanks

£45 for a bottomless brunch, I’m in! £45 without drinks, no thanks.

just tell your friend you’ve just realised that you’ve got an important appointment that day so won’t be able to go.

Sounds like it's more for her social media than anything else. I wouldn’t like the idea of that. As you know the pub and the quality of the food, I would decline, unless it’s a special birthday.

Nope. The cost includes the marquee she has booked for show I bet.
if I’d been and the food was crap I wouldn’t go again full stop. My BIL is obsessed with this awful hotel restaurant near his house and I had one of the worst meals there ever, I’ll never step inside again.

Id suddenly be busy and unable to attend. I can guarantee others will suddenly be busy too.

Don’t go if you don’t want to but £60 for a 3 course meal and drinks is hardly crazy

Influencer, so I doubt they're paying, probably some of their friends too .. personally I'd only go if I really wanted to for that price

She's throwing a party. I would have assumed that she was paying tbh. I'd be shocked to be given a bill in advance for something like this.

For a friend's birthday, I'd usually budget $100 but try to keep it around $50. So £45 is right in line with that, about $58. But she told you ahead of time so if you don't think it's worth it then don't go. If you still would like to celebrate with her maybe you could take her out for a cup of coffee or dessert sometime.

£5.99 for a lunchtime carvery where I live

this either isn’t true or it’s the grossest, grottiest food available.

You seem to know this friend well.

Are influencers not allowed any friends or social events then? People are literally making things up here because of the influencer element which is exactly why I said it was a red herring.