Skinny shaming

[Bobski123]

I was doing some moving and handling training for part of my job. The trainer required a volunteer, I offered and she said "Oh no not you, you're far too skinny."
She then chose a larger lady.
I get it's supposed to be some sort of compliment because being thin is 'desirable'.
However if she'd said "Not you, you're far too fat." She'd possibly be out of a job by now.
However it's ok to say the opposite.
I should've responded really.
It's like that meme going around with a picture of Sophia Loren and the caption "I'd rather eat pizza and drink wine than be a size 0."
A few of my colleagues posted it and I just think, yawn. They aren't mutually exclusive, ok, size 0 is very small but the point is you can enjoy pizza, wine whatever and still remain slim. I'm just over it.

Honestly, I think hatred and snark about someone else’s shape or size – whatever shape or size that may be – generally comes from a place of insecurity. Well illustrated by this person.

Fat is the norm now and it seems to be human nature that if you fall outside of the majority you are fair game.

This truly sums it up perfectly, along with nobody going clothes shopping with you, seeing another side to otherwise nice enough women when you're all bridesmaids and they feel the need to point out that your dress is going to fit when you've said nothing ( experienced this first hand ) as though you should feel guilty theirs doesn't, never feeling you can join in with any conversation because if it's about fitness you're not allowed to be into it, if it's about food you can't say you've cooked or baked anything recently without nasty digs or disinterest, if it's about clothes you get 'everything suits someone as thin as you' or 'what size do you get?' as if you'd EVER ask an overweight person this, if it's about children or trying for a baby you're told you won't concieve, if you're sad one day for literally any reason in the universe you're thin and have no energy so it's your fault and nothing to do with your nan dying, it's tiring and rude.

Surely the whole "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" quote/meme is basically the same as "I'd rather eat nothing but lettuce than be a size 20"?

Weird comment from the trainer, not sure what her thought process was there.

I've been naturally skinny all my life and I'd never complain about it. I know I'm extremely lucky to be able to eat whatever I want without worrying about my weight. "Skinny shaming" isn't something I would bat an eyelid at and honestly is rare anyway. That meme you mentioned wouldn't even be on my radar, I'd scroll straight past it without a second thought. I'm sure whoever posted it wasn't expecting to offend anyone.

Aye, I don’t think it’s the sort of thing people would share on social media tho.

I know it’s a quote attributed to Kate Moss, and I think it was/is rightly perceived as a f-ed up thing to say.

That being said, don’t have much of an opinion on the Sophia Loren meme, tho obviously you can eat pasta and pizza and still be a size 10, and it’s a shame that there is this focus on dress size at all.

skinny people only eat lettuce? I guess that sums up the view on health in the U.K. these days

I wish the focus was placed more on health than on size. I hate all this “real women” bollocks used to shame slim women, or the hate that overweight women get.

You can be small and be extremely unhealthy- likewise, you can be larger and be healthy. Obviously, extremes at either end of the spectrum exist. When I am at my unhealthiest, I’m usually really skinny as well because when I’m stressed I lose my appetite. I have no energy and feel really shit.

Shaming women for being slim just perpetuates the notion that your size is ONLY important as to how you look, rather than how you feel.

I'm sure people will start turning this thread into a weird competition about whether it's fat people or skinny people who get the worst/rudest treatment from society, but that really isn't the issue. It's not OK to comment like that on anyone's body shape like that and you are absolutely right that the trainer shouldn't have drawn attention to the fact that you're slim, especially while also implying that it must mean you're some kind of weakling.

I would not have been happy in your position, and I would also have been less than thrilled to be the other woman who was then singled out by the trainer as being not skinny. I mean, for me the implication would feel like "Oh, let's choose you instead, you seem chunky enough for the job."

Probably going to get flamed for this from the fat people but I couldn't give a shit.

Fat people often excuse the reason their fat. Medication, health conditions. A lot of fat people find it hard to admit it's because they eat too much and don't move enough. Fat people get fat shamed. But what fat people aren't entitled to do, is down play people who get bullied for being skinny. Many skinny people work their arses off being skinny. Many also have medications that lose appetite. You don't see us 'skinnies' constantly trying to justify our weight. I was called a bag of bones when I was on chemotherapy. Was called gaunt by a member of public and told I looked like a corpse. That is NO DIFFERENT to calling someone a fat cunt.

It's coming across as almost jealousy here, as fat people don't want to be fat. That's NO reason to hold the trophy of 'fat shaming is worse.' No body shaming is okay, fat people, stop victimising yourself if you're going to down play skinny shaming victims.

The reason the fat people have a bee in their bonnet about someone else being skinny shamed is because they'd love to be skinny shamed. But they can't. Because they're fat.

If you're unhappy and have means to, do something about it. But trying to be the prize most hard done by victim because you are fat, has no relation to skinny shaming not being as bad.

If you really don't think skinny shaming is bad, why don't you lose weight and try it for yourself. If you seem to think it's a much more comfortable and acceptable way to be commented on?

Fat people aren't the most hard done by people in the world and if you don't want to be fat, in most cases, do something about it. Stop being bitter and lose some weight. Not enable foul language to skinnier people.

They're*

Just because being slim is superior / more desirable to being fat, it doesn't mean fat insults are superior to people who are skinny shamed.

This. But we're the obtuse ones. Suuure.

The reason the fat people have a bee in their bonnet about someone else being skinny shamed is because they'd love to be skinny shamed. But they can't. Because they're fat.

Well,at least you acknowledge this.

Next they’ll be saying women secretly love being whistled at by men on building sites or shouted at from vans. Because it’s actually a compliment isn’t it 🙄

Well no actually, many women find it intimidating. How come you're making that comparison?

The only people who skinny shame me in my life are fat people.

Funny that.

They can dish it out but can't take it back.

NO body shaming is okay, none are better or worse.

I’ve had to put up with it most of my life. When I was younger people even thought it was ok to touch me - poke in ribs etc.
commenting negatively about people’s (women’s, obv.) size still seems to be acceptable.

Because that’s the inference isn’t it? That comments and remarks are fine as long as it’s concerning an attribute that is ‘desirable’ in society, and the recipients should be flattered.

I mean one of the posters said exactly that, and several said they would like to be ‘skinny shamed’ so it’s clearly not an uncommon view.

Well I think because of the insinuation that comments and insults about your body don’t count if it’s to do with thinness because – wahay, they’re calling you thin! 🥳

In the same way that complaining about sexual harassment is like complaining about your diamond shoes being too tight because – wahay, they want to shag you! 😍💁🏻‍♀️🙏

I remember my Dad sitting in his chair looking bemused, having to pierce extra holes in my shoe and sandal, watch and belt straps when l was young. I got called "Lanky Lill" and "Olive Oyl" as well as other names, at age 13 l was 5.8, and still growing. It never really bothered me to be honest, l love my height and that l am in my 50s and can still eat what l want.
People will always find something to say about the way you look, not always with negative intentions, they don't see words such as skinny as being offensive.

I've been every size from an 8-18. I can assure you someone commenting on you being thin isn't half as hurtful as someone commenting that you're fat.

Personally I think it's best to avoid commenting on people's bodies altogether.

Nah, I'm fat and I agree with you.

Most people who are fat are that way because they can't be arsed to exercise or eat well. I do include myself there. Of course there are some people who are fat because of medical or health issues and genuinely can't help it, but that's a minority.

I'm not a victim and don't see myself as one. I don't think anyone should be shamed for being fat, but I don't think moaning and being jealous and spiteful to slim people is ok.

Many skinny people work their arses off being skinny

They can do what they want. And if people are fat, they can also be fat. Neither should be insulted over it. However, we need to stop seeing weight as an issue of morality. Ever heard of thin tokens?