Skinny shaming

[Bobski123]

I was doing some moving and handling training for part of my job. The trainer required a volunteer, I offered and she said "Oh no not you, you're far too skinny."
She then chose a larger lady.
I get it's supposed to be some sort of compliment because being thin is 'desirable'.
However if she'd said "Not you, you're far too fat." She'd possibly be out of a job by now.
However it's ok to say the opposite.
I should've responded really.
It's like that meme going around with a picture of Sophia Loren and the caption "I'd rather eat pizza and drink wine than be a size 0."
A few of my colleagues posted it and I just think, yawn. They aren't mutually exclusive, ok, size 0 is very small but the point is you can enjoy pizza, wine whatever and still remain slim. I'm just over it.

The insincerity is beyond annoying and actually not very helpful for people with disordered eating whether that be over eating or underrating. Let's all pretend that people who are skinny or underweight all fall under that 1% of naturally thin except we all know this is bollox, it's the faux shock at this suggestion, the talking in riddles. That is not toutamount to saying, all skinny people should be attacked, yes I definitely think I should attack my son about this 🙄

It is only 1% of the country that can eat what they like without any exercise, that's very small and includes both sexes so if you are in the 99% of this aesthetic

There are a lot of people who may not have that gebe but who gave at least one parent who is naturally slim/lightly built or whatever plus they eat 'healthily" ... Not in a calorie surplus (and not usually in a calorie deficit) however. It's not as simple as 1% can eat what they want and fk nothing, and the rest get fat.

*do nothing - dunno where fk came from lol

Very very few people are naturally skinny...ie can literally eat anything and not put on weight. I've known many women profess to be like this but actually when you look at their diet they ard incredibly careful with what they eat. The thing is when women falsely claim they eat loads and don't put weight on, what they are insinuating is that any women larger than them must be a gluttonous pig. You know, like stick thin celebrities who say they eat takeaway pizza, chug wine and never go to the gym.

There's a lot to do with diet and exercise too - I used to hang out steadily with a lady who's overweight. We had a kids movie day in her home; I brought pop corn kernels and made pop corn for the kids, they'd not seen it made before and enjoyed the popping. I brought coconut sugar with me to cost them with (who knows of its better for you than regular sugar but anyway .... I fool myself it is plus it tastes nice). I gave the kids the coconut sugared popcorn. She took the bowls into the kitchen, got piles of chocolate, biscuits etc. out, melted it, mixed them up and combined then with the popcorn. Sugared popcorn was apparently not acceptable.

I have a skinny patent but I honestly don't think I am in the 1% (if I ate a shit tonne, a d did little to exercise, I'd put on weight, and vice versa) and she's not; it's her diet. (She also would not walk the length of herself, whereas if walk for an hour).

Very very few people are naturally skinny...ie can literally eat anything and not put on weight.

As I'm trying to say .... Naturally skinny being interpreted as "can eat shit tonnes of anything and not out on weight" is a very extreme interpretation.

Naturally skinny would be - "not usually in a calorie surplus, exercises a bit and does not put on much weight".

Of course not but the research was in to weight gain and was trying to determine what causes this, rather than focusing on obese people they wanted to discover any differentiating factors with those who are naturally thin, their definition of that is eat what you want as much as you want and don't do any exercise! They found this gene differentiated those people. It was literally resistant to weight gain. Genetic predisposition for weight gain of course will vary but this can be helped with diet and exercise, on the other hand you cannot rid yourself of the ALK gene.

Yes but my point is that saying you are naturally skinny and don't out on weight is just a fashionable, socially acceptable thing to say. Not many women actually seem to admit that they are very careful with their food consumption. It's a bit "cool girl" if you know what I mean. Like men who say they love a woman who enjoys her food but she must be a size 6... Oh and doesn't wear make up but looks glam all the time. It's just more unobtainable shit that women have to achieve

Yes but my point is that saying you are naturally skinny and don't out on weight is just a fashionable, socially acceptable thing to say. Not many women actually seem to admit that they are very careful with their food consumption. It's a bit "cool girl" if you know what I mean

In some cases it might be true. If you look at people's parents figures and theirs .... They generally correlate. (As their lifestyles might too). Some people will put weight on more easily ... And I'm not taking the 99/1% skinny gene. Maybe not as many of them as you think are lying.

Or maybe they're not thinking in terms of "I can eat a tonne of everything and stay skinny". Maybe they think along the lines of "I can eat reasonably and stay slim". Maybe they don't have an expectation of eating a tonne of fatty/sugary food and not putting on weight, so they're not saying "I can eat anything and I just stay naturally slim".
As I said, there's a lot of extreme interpretation going on here.

That's isn't an extreme definition, it is a true one, especially as I was referring to the research regarding this gene. You either have the gene or don't. Obviously, your description of the movie night is habits i.e environmental factors so you are not naturally thin. I have one parent who is tiny, guess what she doesn't eat much and has to walk miles for even a pint of milk. This skinniness coincides with my Mum getting rid of her car due to her age. She is also a regular eaterz pretty much same time every day she will have afternoon tea with a small cake or biscuit but dinner is lots of veg as she loves veg. She has had museli since the 1970s. All this is environmental, she certainly isn't naturally so.

You either have the gene or don't.

Other posters have already pointed out the fallacy of this black and white presentation of the 1% and the entire other 99% of people in terms of weight gain etc.

Yes, so true. This is anecdotal but DH knows loads of men that like skinny women who enjoy their food so love running, cycling, skiing but are foodies.

Yes, the cool girl thing my year 7 DDs friend is very skinny, my DD is thin so absolutely no weight issues but her friend like her Mum, who went on a huge weight loss personal trainer thing, even though she was already thin, is always going on about feeling hurt when people call her skinny. The Mum always tells me anecdotes about people commenting on how thin she is even the fish and chip man apparently, now the daughter lectures DD on macro nutrients but at the same time is apparently upset at people calling her skinny. It isn't DD who says it but this girl doesn't eat anything or leaves loads. It all is rather worrying that mrgo nutrients are even discussed so much at 11!

The fallacy, I mean you can review the research yourself. The 1% is those out of the 44,000 sample size didn't have this gene. It isn't a fallacy it is a fact that this what they found.

Equally, the Mum and child both comment on other girls being overweight all of the time. They often laugh about this.

Jealousy and malice are incredibly close cousins are they not?

I think this is at the heart of it really. Skinny shaming is considered ok because skinny is desirable therefore the emotions behind shaming can’t be truly negative/spiteful etc. Of course they can!

Two sides of the same coin.

Which is why I led with people shouldn’t pass comment on the appearance of others.

But if skinny is 'desirable' then you are already at an advantage ahead of the overweight crowd as being overweight is not desirable. So when you are overweight it is the double negative- it is 'not' desirable and people are telling you so. Shit all round really.

If you think it’s two sides of the same coin (which is basically what I think it is), can you explain what you meant by the second paragraph of the post I was responding to, the ‘But…..whereas’ one? Because it looked to me like you were saying they are two different things and comments to skinny people aren’t as bad.

Were you not saying that?

I’m honestly so tired of you banging on about your statistics that I can’t be bothered to try and understand what you are saying any longer.

This thread was started by a human being who was insulted by someone commenting on her size.

All your other 99% of humans are irrelevant here. There are real people involved, not just statistics.

If you need support for your specific feelings, you’ll get it from many of us by making a thread of your own.

Kate Moss "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" ?

You just sound triggered by people being skinny.
I wouldn’t say “I can whatever and not gain weight” so anyone because I can’t imagine having a conversation like that in real life but I’ve also never been more than a size 6 in my life other than about 2 months PP when I had size 8 jeans. I don’t try really hard and I’m not careful about what I eat though. Calories are never on my mind, I don’t go to the gym 5 days a week, I eat plenty of junk in moderation. I just naturally eat around the amount my body needs and not more than that. Most people I know who don’t struggle with their weight are also like that and it isn’t some impossible task to not be fat.
I actually find the “cool girl” thing purposely patronising. People love to make skinny women out to be uptight, neurotic, obsessed with their weight etc. I guess it makes them feel better, there’s this assumption that skinny women don’t live their life to the full or enjoy themselves.

I am unsure why you are so offended by statistics. I am questioning the spirit of this thread as I don't like the insincerity.

I am early 40s like many I am a stone overweight, I don't like this but it is a factual thing for me so I am able to solve the issue like I am doing. I don't have 'issues' anymore than literally everyone I know, including men where we will all joke about middle age spread. So as tempting as your passive aggressive offer is, no, I will decline strangers' help from the internet of whom a vast majority will have disordered eating. When I speak of my thoughts around the comments about being cold not being offensive, I'm referencing my teens and early 20s, I found all my friends thought like me - I am being honest about a period in my life. I apologise if you are offended by my honesty but I'm not going to pretend it was otherwise as I would like any young women reading this to think she isn't imagining that society's perception is favourable to 'skinny' and that it is a kind of brainwashing and to be 'skinny' not an average weight is mostly unattainable. You see that is why the statistics(facts) are important. If you are confused by them that is not really my problem.

I think I’m the same as you, although slightly larger. When I was younger, I certainly couldn’t put weight on no matter how hard I tried. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve filled out a little more. I stay around a size 8/10 - I don’t calorie count, I move around a bit but nowhere near as much as I should. I enjoy my food but probably do naturally eat only what I need.

My point here is, that people who are very underweight or are overweight/obese (barring genetics and medical etc) do not have a healthy relationship with food. And do you know what? It’s not their fault! Emotional eating/emotional undereating, our ‘feast/famine’ cycles, being poor, being abused etc etc - so many factors contribute and it’s really hard because we all need food! It’s not like being disordered around alcohol where you can (with great difficulty) just give it up.

And so, do not take away from other people’s experiences. They all hurt equally. The real culprits here are the cunts that see fit to comment on how we look - lie we ‘owe’ them pretty.

'Triggered' how ridiculous and arrogant. Yes, most slim people I know don't go to the gym 5 x a week but some do and the others certainly will factor in purposeful exercise, equally they eat well but all of them without exception eat mindfully. They don't not eat junk but it is limited to stay thin, none of them could and don't eat as much junk as they want. I am equally referencing people that are slim but not size 6. I have one family member in 40s size 6 and it is a very considered diet and exercise as she has time to go to classes as she doesn't work. She has never been big but certainly does think about it all which is fine. You do realise that anyone over size 6 is not fat don't you?

The post wasn’t to you though, it was the the poster hashing out the “cool girl” shit in a way to patronise women for being the thin and make it seem like they must be absolutely obsessed with their weight at all times, while trying to appear normal eating a burger and then probably not eating the rest of the time. It’s misogynistic bullshit that’s only ever aimed at women by other women.
Do skinny men get called “cool guys” for pretending to eat what they want and not get fat? Of course not.