Skinny shaming

[Bobski123]

I was doing some moving and handling training for part of my job. The trainer required a volunteer, I offered and she said "Oh no not you, you're far too skinny."
She then chose a larger lady.
I get it's supposed to be some sort of compliment because being thin is 'desirable'.
However if she'd said "Not you, you're far too fat." She'd possibly be out of a job by now.
However it's ok to say the opposite.
I should've responded really.
It's like that meme going around with a picture of Sophia Loren and the caption "I'd rather eat pizza and drink wine than be a size 0."
A few of my colleagues posted it and I just think, yawn. They aren't mutually exclusive, ok, size 0 is very small but the point is you can enjoy pizza, wine whatever and still remain slim. I'm just over it.

Yes, absolutely, that's the joke. The idea that you never really be too thin.

It's really quite off though for you to reply to someone telling you they felt humiliated by something with essentially saying "I would have liked it."

Is your purpose to tell the people having these experience that they should like it?

Well, some people definitely do have disordered thinking around food and weight. Are you suggesting that everyone should be pleased then about being told they look dangerously ill?

Well you've totally misunderstood the gag

IME as most of us belong to the 99% of people that don't have a skinny Gene, where we have to purposefully aim for skinny, I think a more common feeling is to not mind having that affirmation via such a comment. I'm talking about my youth though and I get the impression I'm older than you so perhaps as that was the aesthetic aim, it wasn't taken as badly, if at all.

I am failing to see how my opinion a s woman is like a man telling you something, it is disingenuous to not really understand why being fat is more of an insult. It is only 1% of the country that can eat what they like without any exercise, that's very small and includes both sexes so if you are in the 99% of this aesthetic you are insulted to be labelled as it but it is totally within your powers to change with limited efforts, i.e eat high calorific food and don't exercise as much.

The point is surely the commonality of that thought, that's why it is 'funny'. It is not Comedycook writing Motherland (unless it is). For comedy to work in sitcoms the audience it has to be a fairly commonly understood point of view. I mean, in my family, DH and I will refer to our early 40's fatness, we are not fat, probably a stone overweight but it is a joke that has some mutual significance, it is the same amongst our friends. Never in front of the DC but that's for obvious reasons.

@Goldenbear It is only 1% of the country that can eat what they like without any exercise, that's very small and includes both sexes so if you are in the 99% of this aesthetic you are insulted to be labelled as it but it is totally within your powers to change with limited efforts, i.e eat high calorific food and don't exercise as much.

And it’s only a small number of people with an actual metabolic disorder or on medication that makes them hold weight so it’s totally within their powers to change too, just eat less calorific foods and exercise more.
So no excuse for anyone to be offended then according to you.

Thanks for explaining it more eloquently than I did! As you may have guessed, I'm not one of the motherland script writers 😂

No, actually, I think you are quite a bit younger. Both because you gave a year, and because you seem to lack the level of empathy that most of us develop by a certain age.

So yes, your opinion of my experience is very much like mansplaining. Because you can't seem to fathom that how you feel about a thing is not how everyone feels. Nor that the "common" feeling has nothing at all to do with how any one individual experiences life. Nor that because one person might be able to exercise, eat less and lose weight means it's ok to judge everyone by that same standard.

It seems like you are saying skinny is better and more desirable so therefore let's punish everyone who is skinny equally. And screw the people who are uncomfortable with it, whether than can control it or not. 'cause skinny. Ok to punch up, right?

And this is quite in line with how a 40 year old teacher probably felt when barking openly at a 14 year old girl about her body in front of her peers. And also how the person speaking to the OP felt. "Fuck her, she's not fat!"

No, I think you have misunderstood the research, only 1% of the population does not have the AlK Gene, with that genetic make up, you can eat whatever you like. 99% of us have the ALK Gene which leads to the propensity for weight gain if not mindful of diet and exercise. If you are the 99% with the ALK Gene then you won't be resistant to weight gain and you certainly will find it exponentially hard to achieve the opposite - skinniness.

That's quite a misreading of my posts you have there and considering the Motherland example was there to show the common held view of thinness being prized, I think you are being disingenuous.

I really don't know how you have come to the conclusions you have - bizarre and defensive!

Im not misunderstanding, much more than 1% of the population are slim or not classed as overweight. So if only 1% of people can eat what they like and not gain weight then it’s proof that the vast majority of skinny people manage it not through fluke but through diet and exercise.
The rest who are overweight would only find it hard to lose weight if they continued to eat what they like rather than only what their body needs.

If you can control it and do something about it why would you not make yourself happy by doing those tiny tweaks 🤔

No no no, 1% are skinny not slim. It is not only 1% that are not overweight - deary me!

Who says i’m unhappy or need to make any tweaks?
Why that assumption?

So if you believe someone can control something, then it's ok to making insulting comments to them about it?

And if you personally don't find it insulting, then no one should find it insulting?

Deary me!
Do you have any reading comprehension? I don’t say only 1% are not overweight.
I said that is quite obviously not the case.

1% are skinny not slim? Skinny and slim aren’t technical terms, how are you defining the difference between them then?

Just to add to this, I think this 1% thing is a red herring – beyond that particular subset there will a vast range of genetic profiles and a sliding spectrum of metabolic responses. It’s not correct to say that the ‘other 99%’ are a homogenous group whose bodies will all respond the same way to diet and exercise.

I used to be underweight as a teenager, I didn’t have an eating disorder I just didn’t have a huge appetite and was very active. I was 15 years old 5ft 7 and weighed 7 and a half stone so was very very slim, I was so self conscious about it and people really do think it’s fair game to negatively comment on your body if you’re slim.

I got told I look anorexic, I need to eat a burger, I’ve got no boobs and no bum, I have stick legs, I look like a stick etc. For some reason around the time I turned 16/17 I just started gaining weight and got to a normal weight and the comments stopped. So yes it hurts and it hurts just as much as being told you’re fat and need to eat a salad. It also feels very lonely because everyone else seems to want to be losing weight and has a lot of support and you’re the skinny one they all hate.

Lots of assumptions!

Of course there is a way women use "skinny" as a compliment amongst friends. But we are talking about the usage where it means a person looks ill, unhealthy and unattractive. But I guess it's always OK because one poster liked it when someone said that to them once.

@Peacoffee I agree 😂😂

A 'red herring' in what way? It is a 'fact' that 1% have no ALK gene, it is a fact, 99% do have that gene that is 'not' weight resistant. Metabolic variations based on genes is exactly what the research is based upon so you have it or you don't, there is no grey area.

Goodness, you've misunderstood again, this was following on from my posts that are made in general, so not about you at all. I did notice that some posters have said they are not happy being skinny but do marathons and it is out of their control but it is not Rocket science stop running as much, stop eating salads, if you are not happy, like 99% of us you will easily put on the weight and not be unhappy anymore. I think you are stretching credulity to suggest that becoming very thin aka skinny is as easy as being overweight for 99% of the population tou are chatting crap!

Quoted the wrong poster?

You believe there is no further variation among the 99% without the gene in how different people’s bodies deal with food, exercise and weight loss/gain?