To expect a gift for my newborn?

[Freckles978]

If I ever visit a family member or friend to see their newborn child, I would always bring a gift for the baby. Am I the only person who would always do this?

I met a friend specifically to let her meet to my newborn, and she didn't have a gift, and I think it's just rude to not have one. She did previously ask me if I was having a baby shower, to which I had said no. Might this be reason?

I can't get past "let her" meet your newborn.

Honestly you're overthinking all this.

This is one of those situations where you have to accept not everyone does what you choose to do.

It depends. But in the climate of cost of living crisis and awareness re our appalling impact on the environment you’re way out of touch.

As far as I can recall I’ve only ever given presents to family members who’ve had babies. And then it’s something for the parents to enjoy - champagne usually - not for the baby. Different for birthdays, obviously.

If I found out that a friend/acquaintance had moaned that I didn’t take them a gift for having given birth I’d be well pissed off.

Personally, I do always take a little gift for a new baby, but only because I like giving gifts!
When I had my 2, some people came with gifts, some didn't. And honestly I was more excited to show off my baby to people I love and care about, than whether they came with a giftbag in hand! I think YABU.

Things I've learnt from this post:

• Many people do think like me (it's rude not to take a gift)
• Many people do not like seeing new born babies (news to me)
• Many do not expect a gift, therefore there may be a change in culture whereby we no longer give gifts to newborns
• I will continue to give gifts to newborns I do get to meet, as news to many, it is not a right to meet one, many mum's don't want people around their newborn, so it is a privilege to be aloud to meet the newborn
• I won't be taking my friend a gift as it's now seen normal to a group of you that no gift for occasions are the norm

No. £5 in a birthday card for my kids parties is my limit now. A baby doesn't need anything.

I will continue to give gifts to newborns
I won't be taking my friend a gift

Honestly none of the newborns you meet will care whether you give them a gift or not OP 😂😂 you’re really overthinking an absolute non-issue.

@Freckles978 , you said “arranged to meet” your friend, which implies it was not at your home.

If I met my friend out for coffee with my baby, I wouldn’t expect them to bring a gift, having coffee (or whatever) together is enough.

People who came to my house often brought a card or a small gift or a bunch of daffs or whatever. That was nice, but I definitely don’t remember who brought things and who didn’t.

It is not a privilege to meet a newborn, it’s a chance for you to show off your baby.

Frankincense, gold and myrrh should have been presented on arrival as is custom for such an historic meeting.

What, no shepherds or donkeys? OP's being short changed.

When did people start to 'meet' a little bundle in a blanket? To me 'meet' implies a two way communication, not just an 'Ah, how sweet' and a snuffle? Surely visitors with the golden access ticket are only there to see the miracle.

Excellent passive aggression OP 😊

It's not a privilege to see a newborn by the way. You're definitely that new Mum.

Enjoy your baby. Don't take offence that not everyone sees the world and your baby like you do.

The thing I recall from the 70s was taking our new born out and lots of people slipping silver coins into her pram under the mattress, she had a nice little haul when we arrived home!
As for gifts I could have opened a shop with all the pesky little soft toys, though she still has one, 46 years on!

Photo representation of Op's expectations of people meeting her baby for the first time -

There was no room at the Holiday Inn.

I will continue to give gifts to newborns
I won't be taking my friend a gift

But the real piss inducing bit is it is a privilege to be aloud to meet the newborn

Stop it! You're killing me 😂😂😂

aloud .... it's ALLOWED!!

Gutted my friends are all too old to have newborns. Not.

I'm due next week & tbh it doesn't bother me if people visit or not. I know they mean well & will text to say congrats. Also it's MY decision to have a baby so I don't expect any gifts from anyone else for said baby. It honestly wouldn't bother me. With DD1 there were people albeit only a couple that didn't give gifts but they took the time to message or visit. Also despite the fact I love my own children I have a very limited interest in other peoples, not to say I personally wouldn't give a gift, I always have & always will as I think it's nice, but I'd rather post it 🤣

Wow, what an immature attitude. You think it's rude not to bring a gift, when it's a friend? Even when my children were at Primary and we invited whole class parties I had some parents that said they couldn't afford a gift and I said of course they were still invited and very , very welcome, because you get together with people for their company and to celebrate life events , not to get a gift! I would have been furious if my 5 year old had your reaction!
Now you're following that up with , well if I didn't get a present I'm not giving one, absolutely pathetic. Give if you want to give with no expectation of receiving. I have family members a lot wealthier than me , who give generous gifts that I can't spend the same back on, so I spend what I can and enjoy giving. I have friends less wealthy, who may give nothing or a small gift, I still spend more on them because I like them and it gives me pleasure. Try and enjoy your newborn and let's hope you grow up together.

I will continue to give gifts to newborns I do get to meet,

( except to the ones who didn't give me one ! As per your next point😄 )

as news to many, it is not a right to meet one, many mum's don't want people around their newborn, so it is a privilege to be aloud to meet the newborn
^
( it's absolutely fabulous to meet a newborn, but it's also fabulous to have a bit of humility)^

the first time you take a little card (there are many of these in card shops)

Thank fuck you told us. The last time a friend had a baby I was looking for a card in sex shops, builders’ merchants and at the bottom of an enchanted well. You’re right, a card shop would have been the place all along!

You're so overthinking this transactional business about gifts and not just enjoying the moment, that you are posting on MN and getting all pissy on here.

Just enjoy your baby and enjoy your friends. You might get gifts, you might not.

😂

The friend would be rude to be moaning about you, but it absolutely is the norm to give a gift to a good friend's newborn so it does sound like you may have gotten this wrong a few times over the years.