Would this stop you from dating someone/ give the ick?

[Rossannah]

Sorry for the title, I didn't know how else to word it. I'm 38, single and have late primary aged children.

I know this guy, have known him for a while and last night at an event got chatting. Prior to this, I knew very little about him, just to say hi.
After we got chatting, I realised I was very attracted to him, he's not my usual type physically but is really nice looking, funny and completely different to my previous preconceptions about him.
We flirted all night and he asked if we could go out just the two of us (a date?!) We have texted all day, very flirty and I was really looking forward to it.
I facebooked him.
His profile is kind of semi private, there is info there.

He is 33.
There is a profile picture of children, 6 of them, they look aged between 2 and 14, it was uploaded in March. Don't know if it's old or not.
He has an new photo uploaded 2 weeks ago. Of a new baby. Brand new.
From the comments and further digging, this is his grandchild, born 3 weeks ago.
We have not talked specifics about children other than, yes we have them.
I don't know why but it has knocked me right off him. I don't know now if the youngest (2year old) in the profile photo is his child or grandchild. I don't know how many children are his, how many mums etc. It just looks so chaotic now and not something I want to get involved with. But I really like him. I'm pretending to be asleep so I don't have to answer him but we were supposed to be going for Sunday lunch tomorrow
Would this put you off a person?

Yuck. Nothing could convince me to even have sex with this man. He could be bloody Chris Hemsworth and it's still a big fat no! He's pure trash.

Ah ok so he's got all the patter.

Well, he doesn't sound a terrible bloke if he's in touch with them all etc but that doesn't leave much time for you. Mind you, you only have his word for that and he seems to make plenty of time for socialising. Wonder whether their mums all do too.

In all honesty I wouldn't bother, not even on a casual basis. For one thing there's the work connection so you'll have to see him around and for another you think he's rather fabulous, he has all the chat to make you feel good and in your eyes (I'm sure not true) he's a bit out of your league despite circs. He has had plenty of practice at charming the pants of women. Not really a great recipe for occasional no strings shag as I think you could be vulnerable to falling for his talk.

I'd tell him the truth, you had a lovely time but wouldn't be looking for anything further than friends given how much he has on his plate at current.

2 recent teenage parents is a lot to be supporting in particular. You sound great. You'll meet someone a bit less complex soon, in sure of it.

Pure trash? Is that really how you speak about people you don't know?

I wouldn't want to date him, way too much going on, but I don't think I would describe anyone as pure trash.

Sounds a bit chaotic for me. I was pregnant at 17 myself so I would be a hypocrite if I judged anyone for having kids young, but the amount of children he appears to have would put me off.

@U2HasTheEdge Yes indeed. You don't need to meet someone with 4 'baby mommas' 🤮 at 33 to know that they're a trash panda. You're judging my right now for that judgement! Humans judge people based on their actions.

Someone with that many children will not have time or resources for you or any future children you might want to have together (if he is parenting right that is)...what's the point? Also assuming you are roughly the same age, are you prepared to be a step mum to that many kids and a step grandma?

When DH and I got together he had one son and one ex wife, that could be enough of a circus at times! You deserve better

He may well find you attractive but it is still possible that he’s also looking for help more than anything else if he’s guessed how much you earn!

I assume a lot of women run from a man like him tbh irrespective of his looks and he feels lucky to get a date with you tbh!

I’ve seen from your updates that he has 4 baby mothers. 4 women and he couldn’t manage to settle down and make it work with even one of them and he’s not even 35 yet…yikes! He either has seriously bad judgement or he’s the issue. I suspect it’s a bit of both , and he isn’t fussed who he procreates with as he knows he can just walk out again and not be a full time parent. It’s all very well having the kids “regularly” but I’m assuming they are primarily resident with their mother hence his social life is booming😂

One man who creates a series of 4 broken households by 33 isn’t a catch IMO!

Glad to hear it! So many women end up stuck with men like this because they thought they wanted some “fun” and it ends up they fall pregnant or fall in love and find it harder to extricate themselves.

Sounds like playing with fire! You definitely deserve better than this very irresponsible man..,run for the hills 😂

Good points made above, you are way above his league being a professional with their own home. He lives with his mum but is a young grandad. Definitely trash.

You got a fun date and a good story out of it! But yeah probably time to step back

I think maybe tell him you just want to be friends so he doesn't waste his time trying to date you.

Absolutely, @MummaEllie. God forbid OP wastes his time! Time that could be better spent finding baby momma number five...

You should go on the date, and see what he says about his family. Sounds like it’s probably a non starter, but keep an open mind.

One question, Given the info you have just ask would this relationship be life enhancing to you ? Yry and be honest to yourself.

@GardeningIdiot well everyone is human and maybe he's trying to find his forever person.

Let's not judge to quickly hay!

Gosh, I had a baby at 17, so glad my boyfriend doesn't think like some of you lot.

This thread is funny, absolutely full of judgemental bellends. To the point where I kind of hope some of you become grandparents before you expect to 😉

Don't do that, so rude

I have a cousin who married young to a slightly older woman who had 2 kids. He took them on and raised them as his own even when the relationship with their mum only lasted about 4 years. One of the girls had a child at 14 and my cousin classed his child as his grandchild, still does. He then married for a second time and had more children.

you can’t judge accurately from photos on Facebook.

So did I, but I didn't have 5 subsequent children with 3 other men, and I won't have 2 grandchildren by 33.

Will you?
If not, I don't think we're comparable to this man.

I had two subsequent children and if my 17yo was silly enough to have a baby, I'd be a grandparent at 35. I wouldn't expect my dp to get 'the ick...'

Am I the only one who thinks OP should shag him before she dumps him?! Or just say she's not up for a serious relationship and have a bit of fun? Obviously double up on the contraception though!

Just out of curiosity are any of the children the same age ?
In other words did he have the 4 women on the go together?

@AllOfThemWitches You still don't have 4 'baby daddies' though do you? Imagine having 6 children by 4 different men. It's a trashy mess.

Do not have sex with this manchild!