Sis & wedding..seriously stressed

[BluNomad]

Sorry long post….Cousin getting married in August, big fancy affair in 5* country hotel, looking forward to it. My DH & I are staying in the hotel the night of the wedding & my sis/bil were also offered first refusal on a room (which were discounted anyway due to wedding party) they declined as they didn’t want to spend that kind of money on a room they’d barely spend any time in..fair enough so they are staying in a hotel a few miles from venue. Now the wedding is child free, clearly stated on invites plus my sis & I knew this prior to invites going out as we are close with our cousin & she has regularly discussed the arrangements with us. DH & I have one DC who is going to my ils for weekend of the wedding. My sis & bil have a one dc 8 months who they have now decided cannot possibly spend the night away from them so my sis mentioned few weeks ago that she’s just going to bring dc & as we’re close to cousin she won’t mind but she’s not going to tell her. DH & I said of course you cannot just turn up with dc that’s extremely rude given you accepted the no child invite, she basically said she doesn’t care & that’s what’s happening. DH said he is going to tell cousin unless they do, so she did & cousin said (in nicest possible way) absolutely not. Now sis is saying she’s bringing dc but they can just use our suite at the venue to take turns looking after dc but I know that dc will end up asleep & either we’ll have him with us overnight or my sis or bil will fall asleep in the room & will end up in our suite for the night plus I don’t want anyone in our room, it will be a mess if they’re using it & nephew will end up in our bed. I’m seriously dreading the whole wedding now as what I was expecting to be a lovely weekend with our family & friends plus bonus of us spending a night in a luxury suite with my dh is being hijacked by my sis & bil. I haven’t mentioned it to my dh yet as he’ll be furious & I’ll rather handle it with my sis before hand but I don’t know how to & it’s massively stressing me. Just to point out my sis is extremely entitled & doesn’t take no well & I don’t want to fall out with her & it be frosty at the wedding I want us to all enjoy the day together. AIBU just say no & deal/ignore her strop which I’m expecting will be inevitable

Ok thanks for your opinion will take it on board

The sister tried to comply with cousin’s rules but felt she had to being baby along.

Well no. If you read all the OP's posts, you will see that her sister has happily left he baby overnight on more than one occasion previously. People putting their own interpretation on posts doesn't really help. There is no "has to" about it. She just wanted to.

@BluNomad I'd love an update after the wedding please!

If you read all the OP‘s posts you will see that the people the baby has been left with before are attending the wedding and the sister is therefore struggling to find someone she can leave him with (although is now going to ask her MIL).

I think you’re being too harsh on the mom with the baby. And it is the meddler who stuck his nose in where it doesn’t belong who is acting like a schoolyard tattletale. He and the op obviously very much disliked her sister already. You left out the rest of my comments where I agreed with op that absolutely it is wrong for the sister to try to use her hotel suite or for babysitting.

Well I don’t think I’m harsh. I think she had it coming.

I didn’t “leave out” anything - I wasn’t aiming to provide a full critique of your entire argument. I’m writing on Mumsnet, not delivering a rebuttal in Sociological Review.

Then she should politely decline the invite and say she can no longer come to the wedding.

Letting the bride sort this out is a terrible idea, not fair on the bride at all.