New bf party tonight. I'm not invited .

[geminirisingagain]

My new bf has a special birthday tonight. He will be surrounded by his kids, family and friends in his local. No big drama .. finger food, pints and a band. I'm not invited and deep down , it would be completely inappropriate of me
To be there esp as his relationship with his kids has only recently
Improved due to him
Finishing his last relationship.
They were together two years. It did t work
Out. Kids felt pushed out and for other reasons including that, he finished it .
We met by pure chance on the weekend it finished.
We both acknowledged that it was all wrong timing wise. However we continued to chat and for the last six weeks have chatted every day and met five times. We've slept together, enjoy each others company and look forward to meeting again.
I am
Not invited tonight. It would be wrong I know that. He's two hours away. His kids are only properly back in his
Life and his family's opinions are very important to him.
However I feel left out.
AIBU ?

You've only been seeing him for six weeks?

Yes

Met five times

Way way too early to be meeting the family and friends, especially his kids.

You have no reason to be put out by this so I would acknowledge the disappointment you feel and move on.

Far too soon for you to be at something like that in my opinion. Sorry.

You aren't unreasonable to wish you were there but by your own admission it wouldn't be right.
He's straight out of one relationship right into another, you are with himfor 2 minutes, and there are kids involved!
Do something nice for yourself tonight and try not to dwell on it.

It’s human to feel left out. However it’s the right choice here, it’s far too early for you to meet his kids. He’s being a good dad and that’s a very good thing.

Of course you are not invited. You hardly know him and he is totally right not to introduce you to his kids.

I know logically that you are all right and I feel Comfort in that . However I do feel
Left out but thanks . It does make me feel better ima strange way.

How old are his kids? If they are adults, IMO you have reason to feel left out.

He's right.
Do something else and don't hold his good decision against him.

No they're 16/19.

He isn’t your boyfriend he’s a person you’ve met five times and known less than two months, take a step back from this, it would be ridiculous if he invited you to his birthday event with his kids & family.

YABU!!!!!!

Hmm, IMO that is old enough for him to include you and introduce as a ‘friend’.

Thanks. I know you're right . Still feel burnt a little

How was he with his ex two years if his kids are this age? Are they I assume from a previous relationship?

It's far too early.

IMO that is old enough for him to include you and introduce as a ‘friend’.

Do you think they are stupid?

He could have invited you as a friend.
I'm sorry, it's shit and could be a harbinger of things to come.

You might be in this same situation three years on - unlikely but I've read about cases like that on mumsnet, the poor women were distraught.

It sounds like he's not able to balance people's need and you might always be a seventh class citizen...think hard about this, it would be easier to end it.

You sound rather intense. At this point he's a guy you're seeing. Not your boyfriend.

At that age kids will know exactly what it is if you're introduced as a "friend" - especially if that was an issue in his past relationship.

If you met him the weekend he broke up with his ex and six weeks later waltzes into a family birthday with a new GF that'll go down like a lead balloon!

Six weeks and five dates is so new and early still, probably far too early to be invited to a birthday get together with his children and family imo.

Easier to end it 🤣🤣🤣
Jesus we've hardly just begun !!

I dated my boyfriend/partner for almost 2 years before I introduced him to my adult kids.

Still far too soon imho

This good though. Show him you have a life and aren’t already dependant on him for fun. When you meet up again you’ll both have something to talk about. Otherwise it could be odd rather him having to tone down stories his special night knowing you weren’t there. If you’ve got an interesting night planned it makes you less needy and more likely he’ll want t9 tell you what happened at the party.