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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner upset by mum’s choice of phrase

167 replies

KatieWhitstable · 08/07/2023 01:01

My mum very occasionally babysits for us.

Often, when one of us arrives home, my mum will say “Olivia’s had a lovely day with Nana” and then proceeds to tell us what she and Olivia have been up to together.

My partner thinks that this is a weird thing to say and that my mum is being rude. By suggesting “Olivia has had a lovely day” means that she doesn’t normally have a lovely day??? And that my mum is implying that she has a nicer day with her than she does with us.

He wants me to tell my mum not to say that anymore because he finds it patronising.

He also found it insulting that she suggested he shouldn’t keep eggs in the fridge and that you should keep eggs in the cupboard instead, because he is a grown man and can decide where he keeps his eggs. He thinks she is being rude and overstepping by offering unwanted advice.

AIBU by not speaking to my mum about these issues, and are these two examples anything my partner should be getting worked up about?
Is my mum rude or overstepping?

OP posts:
billy1966 · 17/07/2023 12:21

Well done OP, sounds like it was a while coming.

Enjoy being twat free.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 17/07/2023 12:23

He's crazy.
When I get my kids from nursery they say *X has had a great day.."
Why would I be annoyed by that? I am happy my child has had a good day!

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 17/07/2023 12:24

KatieWhitstable · 16/07/2023 22:32

update

I’ve left him and I’m going no contact.

💔🙏🏼💔

Oh sorry should have read full thread first.

That's great! Well done you! X

BloodyPrime · 17/07/2023 12:35

PuddlesPityParty · 08/07/2023 08:42

Reading between the lines of the two comments, I imagine your mum probably makes a lot of comments about how you should do thinks and how her way is correct? If that’s that case then it would be overbearing and too much, and actually just plain rude and annoying.

That isn't 'reading between the lines' - that is 'completely making something up'

BloodyPrime · 17/07/2023 12:35

KatieWhitstable · 16/07/2023 22:32

update

I’ve left him and I’m going no contact.

💔🙏🏼💔

Well done OP, hope you're OK

PuddlesPityParty · 17/07/2023 12:47

BloodyPrime · 17/07/2023 12:35

That isn't 'reading between the lines' - that is 'completely making something up'

Show quote history

Okay honey.

Good luck OP! 💖

GerbilsForever24 · 17/07/2023 12:51

Best of luck OP. I did think that the egg thing felt like the straw that broke the camel's back - either she is constantly nitpicking OR you would realise he's a complete twat! Sounds like you went with option B. Grin

Newestname002 · 17/07/2023 13:33

KatieWhitstable · 16/07/2023 22:32

update

I’ve left him and I’m going no contact.

💔🙏🏼💔

That sounds like a good decision for you OP. Hope all goes well for you, Olivia and her Nana. 🌹

Coyoacan · 18/07/2023 01:58

Great update, OP.

ChubbyMorticia · 18/07/2023 02:22

He’s being an idiot about your mom’s phrasing.

Mom needs to mind her own business about where eggs are kept in not her house.

QueenBitch666 · 18/07/2023 02:43

He's a mard arse

QueenBitch666 · 18/07/2023 02:45

bussteward · 08/07/2023 03:16

Buy loads of eggs and get your mum to arrange them on the counter to spell “Olivia’s had a lovely day with Nana”.

Sniggers Grin

QueenBitch666 · 18/07/2023 02:58

KatieWhitstable · 16/07/2023 22:32

update

I’ve left him and I’m going no contact.

💔🙏🏼💔

Great news op Flowers

TheHandbag · 18/07/2023 03:04

There's a lot of twatty men out there who are oversensitive about everything including their own shadow. What's wrong with this current generation of men, it is really disturbing.

Threenow · 18/07/2023 03:14

I really couldn't be bothered having a DP as petty as that. He needs to grow up.

Threenow · 18/07/2023 03:15

Oh well done OP!

ferntwist · 18/07/2023 04:17

Your partner sounds so ungrateful for what your mum is doing for your daughter

maddening · 18/07/2023 05:33

ImustLearn2Cook · 08/07/2023 03:01

Your dh’s behaviour is concerning. He comes across as insecure and controlling.

“Olivia’s had a lovely day with Nana” is not in any way a criticism of him. How bizarre that he internets it this way.

And if someone said to me that I shouldn’t store eggs in the fridge I would be interested in their reasons for believing that. I wouldn’t be offended. I would ask them: “why shouldn’t I store them in the fridge?” Depending on their answer I would either take it on board or dismiss it.

It’s not rude to share knowledge, information, advice. It is more than a bit rude to get so offended that you feel justified in directing your wife to put limitations on what her mum can and cannot say in his presence.

This!

PurplePens · 18/07/2023 06:23

Bloody hell, I would have torn him a new one on both that and the eggs.
No one criticises my mum, husband or not.

Lndnmummy · 18/07/2023 06:31

Is he controlling in other ways too OP?

Mikimoto · 18/07/2023 06:51

The busybody mother will be happy at least.

Gh12345 · 18/07/2023 07:06

He’s pathetic!

Thosepeskyseagulls · 18/07/2023 07:19

That’s a completely normal thing to say. Your partner is being ridiculous.

Changeling78 · 18/07/2023 07:21

Wow, that was an update! Did it escalate or was it the straw that broke the camels back?

noglow · 18/07/2023 08:16

KatieWhitstable · 16/07/2023 22:32

update

I’ve left him and I’m going no contact.

💔🙏🏼💔

Congratulations and best of luck to you xxxx