Partner upset by mum’s choice of phrase

[KatieWhitstable]

My mum very occasionally babysits for us.

Often, when one of us arrives home, my mum will say “Olivia’s had a lovely day with Nana” and then proceeds to tell us what she and Olivia have been up to together.

My partner thinks that this is a weird thing to say and that my mum is being rude. By suggesting “Olivia has had a lovely day” means that she doesn’t normally have a lovely day??? And that my mum is implying that she has a nicer day with her than she does with us.

He wants me to tell my mum not to say that anymore because he finds it patronising.

He also found it insulting that she suggested he shouldn’t keep eggs in the fridge and that you should keep eggs in the cupboard instead, because he is a grown man and can decide where he keeps his eggs. He thinks she is being rude and overstepping by offering unwanted advice.

AIBU by not speaking to my mum about these issues, and are these two examples anything my partner should be getting worked up about?
Is my mum rude or overstepping?

On the face of it your husband sounds a little OTT. Both the examples you've given are perfectly normal things to say. However, it could be that this is just part of a list of things your mum does and says and maybe eg the egg discussion comes across as more You're wrong, l'm right (l always am) so do as I tell you....without hearing the tone of voice etc it's impossible to judge.

Oh my lord he sounds ridiculous. I cannot imagine getting upset about things like that. He needs to work on his fragile ego.

on a more serious note - he could be trying to put a wedge between you and your mum and as other posters have said it could be that it then extends to your friends. So do watch out fir that.

My kids always have a much better time with grandma anyway so thank Fuck I'm not married to your husband as he'd explode with rage.

Although your DM is right about the eggs, she may have slightly over stepped here. If you weren't asking about egg storage, it comes under the category of very mild and inoffensive unwanted advice.

In the first example, your DP is very much being unreasonable, and needs to remove his head from his bottom. Please don't pander to him OP. The demands to pander could become more extreme and ridiculous. Ask me how I know.

Like PP I picked up on him objecting to his baby having had a lovely day was so ridiculous it might be masking something sinister. We read of partners isolating their OH from their families on here all the time, and I’ve also seen it in my own family (female partner, and my male relative is being thick for going with it, but his mum is in despair). You sound sensible enough to knock it on the head, but it’s a worrying behaviour and one I’d look out for.

Crikey your DH is a right precious twat!

Your partner is batshit.

This!

He sounds an absolute drip. The only thing I’d tell your mum about is to mind her own business where the eggs are kept but he sounds far too sensitive and wet for his own good.

Jeez. Are you in any way related to the person on another thread whose man baby husband is whining over a postcard from his in-laws?

What an odd man he is. Tell him to grow up.

Tell him to stop clutching his pearls and not to be so fucking stupid. He sounds ridiculous. And why can’t he tell her himself? Because clearly, he knows how stupid he’s going to sound so he tells YOU to tell her. What a bellend.

He sounds a bit paranoid tbh does he suffer from his mental health?

Has he always been a weird toddler man baby or is this is recent change in behaviour? Does he normally struggle with everyday conversations?

How utterly ridiculous. Would he rather hear that his child is miserable in his absence?!

But also, aren't grandparents supposed to be all about fun? Like the (less important) rules go out the window, grandparent isn't trying to do all the household chores at the same time etc. They are supposed to have a great time!

Re: the eggs. Fine to be mentioned, also fine for him to say "it says fridge on the box so that's what I do"

Goodness, he’s got some major issues hasn’t he?

but surprised by the folks saying she shouldn’t tell him how to run his household simply because she said, correctly, eggs should be stored in a cupboard. What a massive over reaction. It’s hardly telling someone how to run as household by saying eggs should be stored in the cupboard.

Unless there is a massive drip feed this man sounds off his nut.

No one can say they had a nice weekend or trip away? No one can say he's wearing a nice outfit or 'that was a nice lunch' or anything that implies something is extra-specially good, therefore other things aren't as good? Or if they had a nice time away from him, that means they don't enjoy time with him?

Fucking hell.

I agree @Sunnyfunnytimes OP did say her mum suggested he shouldn’t keep eggs in the fridge not she issued a direct order to do it. So unless she continually suggests this it's no big deal

I agree with @Sunnyfunnytimes

He sounds like an awful twat.

Your mothers phrasing is fine.
How nice that she spends time with your daughter and they both enjoy it.

The eggs?

Whatever.

Be wary of having children with a petty insecure twat.
So unattractive.

How weird. Nursery tell me that both DC have had a 'lovely' or 'wonderful' day often. How is that any suggestion that they had a better time than with a parent? Or does he know that time spent with him is rarely 'lovely'?!

His plan to alienate you from your family is starting to work if you're here questioning if he could be right. Thi sounds like the thin end of the wedge to me.
oh, and you don't need to put eggs in the fridge (UK). Do supermarkets refrigerate eggs? Nope.

Your partner sounds like an idiot

Never let him collect his child from nursery