Myself and my husband...

[LaPerduta]

Please make it stop!

My husband and I went out to dinner.
Our friends invited my husband and me to dinner.

It's not rocket science.

I wouldn't order anything, just based on that

I don't understand why you're so pissed off. I mean, I hate it when someone asks for help on here and the thread gets derailed because the OP has misspelled a word or used poor grammar and all the smart arses crawl out of the woodwork to point it out. Now that IS patronising. But people can start a discussion about anything they like, even things that annoy them and that don't bother you. It's just a discussion and nothing personal.

Surely you'd just say "Me and Dave are going. Does anyone else want a ticket" or "We're going" or "Me and Delilah's Dad are going" or "Me and Alan have planned the same thing". It's just so.....Hyacinth Bucket. Might be because I'm working class, or northern, don't know, but to me it just screams of people pulling rank and thinking they're better.

No. I'd say "Dave and I' if they knew Dave was my husband and 'My husband and I' if they didn't. How the hell is saying a perfectly normal, correct sentence 'pulling rank'?! We have lived in the NW of England for nearly 10 years, having moved from the SE. My dc have spent a decade being mocked at school and called 'posh' (and even 'Tories' ) for speaking the way they do. I expect a fair few adults think the same of me, but don't say it. Everyone talks how they were brought up. Thinking they do it to 'pull rank' or to act like they're better than you is chippy, ignorant and paranoid, unless you have any reason to believe they are actually putting on a fake accent and changing the way they speak.

Added to which, there's nohing wrong with changing the way you speak in order to use correct grammar. If you grew up saying should/could/would of and then learnt that this was grammatically incorrect, there is nothing wrong with deciding to say 'have' instead of 'of'. It is pretty egotistical for other people to take that decision as a personal slight against them.

"Dave and I are going to the pub" is too posh, but "Me and Dave are going to the pub" is bad grammar. It's a bloody minefield 😁

I'm going to the pub. So is Dave. 🍻

@Fairislefandango

👏 👏 👏 👏

Bravo!

"Dave and I are going to the pub" is too posh

How is it posh? It's a perfectly normal sentence. I teach several foreign languages. I'm pretty sure the Spanish, the French or the Germans would be utterly bemused by the idea that a basic, simple sentence in their language like 'Dave and I are going to the pub' should be said with a grammatically incorrect pronoun in order not to offend people by sounding too posh! Ridiculous.

Sorry, but I just would never say ‘me and Dave are going to X’.

I would always say ‘Dave and I are going…’.

What on earth is wrong with ‘Dave and I’??

It just wouldn’t occur to me to say ‘me and Dave are going/doing’, because it’s wrong.

I don’t really refer to ‘Dave and I’ very often - I would usually just say ‘I am…’ or ‘we are going…’, so perhaps because I’m not including the dreaded Dave in my sentence, I get a pass from your bizarrely chippy sneeriness?

I’m not ‘posh’. I’m an Antipodean who was brought up to speak, and was taught, English. This isn’t some medal-worthy achievement. It was just … normal. This sort of basic sentence structure was taught in the first years of primary as well (and reinforced (modelled) at home) - a point at which literally everyone had access to the learning.

Somehow, we’ve reached a point where this is something to be ashamed of, and we must speak in a contrived, incorrect way, so as not to offend people who don’t speak properly?

I'm going to the pub. So is Dave.

Sorry, but that’s silly.

‘Dave and I are going to the pub’ (or, probably more likely, ‘we are going to the pub’) is absolutely fine. Or, at least it is anywhere outside the class-ridden UK.

I hope you were not taught to use it incorrectly - even though I am aware it is used incorrectly by many people.

Reflexive pronouns are used when the subject and the object of a verb are the same. "I cut myself when I was making dinner last night". (I did it to me)

Easiest to try the sentence with 'me' or 'I' or 'you'. If that sounds right it usually is. (You really wouldn't say 'I cut I' or 'I cut me'. So, if it sounds right with me or I, it probably is the right grammar.

Well exactly - I think we agree! But according to a previous poster, using "and I" is too formal:

Its just so much more formal saying "....and I". You use "and I" for when you're complaining that you're disappointed by the size of the petit sandwiches on the high tea at The Ivy. Or writing to a court statement saying why you're unhappy with the noise from the local primary school.

I thought you were suggesting it as a serious alternative for the chippy ‘Dave and I’ types, @sevenbyseven !

Yes, we clearly agree!

I don't know about posh but "me and Dave are going to the pub" IS bad grammar. You wouldn't say "Me am going to the pub".

Unpretentious? Since when is speaking properly pretentious? This thread is ridiculous.

Who is this Dave, what pub are you going to and can myself come please?

I didn't say speaking properly is pretentious. I meant using "myself" or "I" when it should be "me" sounds pretentious.

Well, actually, you just said you’d rather hear ‘Fred and me went to the shops’ because at least it’s unpretentious.

But it’s wrong.

Saying “the money is a gift from John and I” is wrong and sounds pretentious. And saying “the money is a gift from John and myself/myself and John” is also wrong.

Reflexive or for emphasis is fine.

I washed myself. (Instead of ‘me’, which would just sound daft.) (Reflexive.)

I wouldn’t like it myself, but each to their own. (Emphasis)

I know. I don't think I've contradicted myself here. I'd prefer to hear an unpretentious mistake - such as "Me and John went to the shop" - than a pretentious one such as "The shop is John and I's favourite" or, as in the original example, "Myself and my husband..."

Ideally I'd prefer the correct usage!

I see what you mean, although there is definitely nothing pretentious about “John and I’s…”

You seem to have different definitions of 'pretentious'.

Regardless of any level of education received, it's a great thing to keep wanting to improve as we go through life. Understanding words, their use, and spellings doesn't just stop at age 16. It's a very worthwhile thing to continue learning, instead of having an instant knee-jerk, aggressive reaction about the topic.

I remember distinctly the first time I heard that usage. I was 18 and had recently started socializing with a much wider age range than when at school.

I almost did a double take, as I couldn't believe an intelligent adult was mangling the English language so horribly. (I realise that's probably a pretentious comment to make...)

Another one that prickles for me is ‘her and her friends went…’ although I accept that one’s a lost cause.