Page 4 | Myself and my husband...

LaPerduta · 2023-07-07T21:07:44+00:00

Please make it stop! My husband and *I* went out to dinner. Our friends invited my husband and *me* to dinner. It's not rocket science.

LauraNicolaides · 08/07/2023 00:50

KimberleyClark · 07/07/2023 23:26

While we are discussing bad English may I raise a couple of things tha5 have annoyed me recently.

On Facebook, abc “be like” xyz. It doesn’t make sense.
More generally, ‘I’m so excited for my holiday”. No you are not you are excited about it.

More generally, ‘I’m so excited for my holiday”. No you are not you are excited about it.

Ok, if we're doing wrong prepositions what about "the rise in mental health problems speaks to the increase in poverty"?

It does not speak to increasing poverty! If you've got to pretend it speaks at all, it speaks to you and me about increasing poverty.

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/07/2023 00:53

Thunderpunt · 08/07/2023 00:24

@Thosepeskyseagulls can you not see how patronising you're being?
Seriously this isn't about me, or my need to be educated, it's about people feeling that they're looked down on because they are unable to write perfect English, possibly because they weren't afforded the same education as some.

I get what you're saying, but people don't have to stop learning when they leave education.

I left at 15 with no qualifications, because I dicked about. Most of what I know I've learnt since I left school.

PPs have said that graduates are the worst offenders "myself/yourself", so it's not the class-bashing thread you make it out to be.

LauraNicolaides · 08/07/2023 00:56

LaPerduta · 08/07/2023 00:28

It's hardly the height of pedantry. It's pretty basic language use; we're not arguing over the subtleties of the subjunctive, or less vs fewer. It's no more pedantic than saying 2+2 does not equal 5.

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It's no more pedantic than saying 2+2 does not equal 5.

Absolute hairsplitting dogmatism, it's close enough as makes no difference.

GojiApparatus · 08/07/2023 01:24

I'm confused of your point, you could of posted this in Pedants Corner, its not that hard. Next time they should take your Mumsnet membership off of you, it would be better to have less pedants here, we could afford to loose a few😀

CrazyArmadilloLady · 08/07/2023 01:25

Thosepeskyseagulls · 07/07/2023 23:45

In the time it took to write that you could have educated yourself about reflexive pronouns. They really aren’t that scary. And the level of education you’re talking about is Year 7 English, if not Year 6. So maybe calm down.

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Awkward.

You’re assuming she(?) needs to be educated, and wasn’t just making a wider point.

theGooHasGone · 08/07/2023 03:13

Thunderpunt · 08/07/2023 00:24

@Thosepeskyseagulls can you not see how patronising you're being?
Seriously this isn't about me, or my need to be educated, it's about people feeling that they're looked down on because they are unable to write perfect English, possibly because they weren't afforded the same education as some.

The truth is that it's never too late to learn. The world judges people far more harshly for other things that they also have the power to change.

The internet (particularly YouTube) is full of great resources for learning how to improve all aspects of spoken and written English. If those who think it's important to use correct grammar don't tell others, people are less likely to try and improve.

Hibiscrubbed · 08/07/2023 05:16

Thunderpunt · 07/07/2023 23:24

It is snobbish when comments such as
'It makes my ears bleed'
Or
'I want to boil myself in oil'
Or any other number of sanctimonious comments. Like I said take yourself off to Pedants Corner, but don't expect the great unwashed public to all have had the same level of education as some of you. So if they aren't grammatically perfect, accept it without the sneering and stay in your own fucking lanes

😂

noglow · 08/07/2023 05:53

LaPerduta · 08/07/2023 00:25

Agreed. I was taught it at school, but not in a formal lesson (in a chat with my French teacher on a school trip).

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I mean I've basically only just learnt now from a mumsnet thread!

ahunf · 08/07/2023 06:11

I still don't understand it?

I assumed it was another way of saying something but a bit posher.

How come I did not know this?

nonevernotever · 08/07/2023 06:21

ahunf · 08/07/2023 06:11

I still don't understand it?

I assumed it was another way of saying something but a bit posher.

How come I did not know this?

I think this is part of the problem - I think people often use it inappropriately because they think it's a formal/posh way of saying I/me.

shakespeareinlove · 08/07/2023 06:36

As a university educated individual who now writes for a living, I continually try and educate myself on grammatical issues that I simply wasn’t taught at school or university (not an English degree). So I put a lot down to poor standards of teaching. Maybe because teaching roles aren’t a high paying, highly regarded profession anymore and so don’t always attract the highest graduates…unfortunately.

Crocadoodledoo · 08/07/2023 06:38

This thread has brightened the morning for myself

CalmDownBoris72 · 08/07/2023 06:41

This really gets to me, I think as we )those of us of a certain generation) were taught that you must say ‘Bob and I went to the shop’ and that ‘Me and Bob went to the shop’ is too informal that myself has somehow got caught in the mix as a way to sound formal but not too formal. ‘Me and’ is actually much better than ‘myself and’ which is just totally wrong.

LakieLady · 08/07/2023 06:45

noglow · 07/07/2023 22:25

So when should you use myself?

When it refers back, eg "I hurt myself", "I got it for myself".

MissyB1 · 08/07/2023 06:48

RosesAndHellebores · 08/07/2023 00:23

I think it's due to people getting too many qualifications and not enough education. Never mind the quality, feel the width

I agree with this, quality over quantity please.

renthead · 08/07/2023 06:56

This is such a British thing. You don't hear this mistake in North America in the same way. I think it's because of the class aspect of language in the UK, and a slightly more formal manner of communication overall, so people use it when they are trying to affect poshness or formality. It's incredibly cringey and embarrassing.

LadyMcFarlane · 08/07/2023 06:58

Spend 15 mins googling this topic. Stop assuming it’s about how educated you are, or are not.

LadyMcFarlane · 08/07/2023 07:03

Thunderpunt · 07/07/2023 22:34

Why not bugger off to Pedants Corner, rather than look snobbishly down on those who don't have a the perfect grasp of the English language that you have OP.

So go and educate yourself. It’s never too late. 15 mins of time invested/per day will help you to strive for wanting to get a perfect grasp of the English language.

Westfacing · 08/07/2023 07:06

A former colleague said she used myself as it sounded more upmarket!

Hibiscrubbed · 08/07/2023 07:08

shakespeareinlove · 08/07/2023 06:36

As a university educated individual who now writes for a living, I continually try and educate myself on grammatical issues that I simply wasn’t taught at school or university (not an English degree). So I put a lot down to poor standards of teaching. Maybe because teaching roles aren’t a high paying, highly regarded profession anymore and so don’t always attract the highest graduates…unfortunately.

Try to* 😇

LubaLuca · 08/07/2023 07:10

Missedmytoe · 07/07/2023 22:10

Had a call from a company recently and during the conversation the sales rep said, "So, if yourself would like to place an order..."

I had "Please bear with myself, I'm going to pop you on hold."

willWillSmithsmith · 08/07/2023 07:33

echt · 07/07/2023 22:15

“Please reach out to myself if you need any further help”

This was a daily occurrence at my school in Australia. From supposedly well-educated people. But then "send it to Fred or I" was just as common.

Yes, I think a lot of people don’t realise that if you took Fred out the equation you wouldn’t say ‘send it to I’. It has to make sense without the other person. So it would be ‘send it to Fred or me’.

noglow · 08/07/2023 07:35

willWillSmithsmith · 08/07/2023 07:33

Yes, I think a lot of people don’t realise that if you took Fred out the equation you wouldn’t say ‘send it to I’. It has to make sense without the other person. So it would be ‘send it to Fred or me’.

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I swear if someone had explained it like this at school I would have spent a lot less time trying to work it out

JudgeRudy · 08/07/2023 07:35

Yes, it's a bit irritating. I could live with eg someone telling me 'Myself and my husband went to....' but if someone suggested I 'reach out to myself' my teeth would tingle.
What this thread has done though is made me review/consider correct English language and its got me wondering......exactly when is it appropriate to use myself rather than me? Example 2 sounds so wrong but exsmple 1 i could overlook. Can someone please give me an example of when you should use myself or better still the rules.

noglow · 08/07/2023 07:36

LakieLady · 08/07/2023 06:45

When it refers back, eg "I hurt myself", "I got it for myself".

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Thank you