If you really want a solution OP, instead of just slagging your daughter off, I have a suggestion for you:
Once her room is tidy, so you have a clear and calm starting point, you set up a box with her. The box will contain 7 pairs of clean period pants and a mesh wash bag.
What your daughter will do is take the pants and put the dirty ones in mesh bag. You can pick them up throughout week or in one go, wash and put back in correct place.
Your DD will have clean pants. You might need to remind about this system for some time, and get her to put the used ones in there, without shaming her.
Re: public transport and being more independent in “some ways”. That is is great. It is also irrelevant to her bedroom.
I have a first class degree and am highly organised and competent in some areas of life. I also struggle to pack a suitcase or to meal plan, lose my keys on a regular basis and have a history of putting the wrong fuel in my car.
My 10 year is autistic and has ADHD. I have ADHD.
My DD needs a tidy calm room to help her in life as much as possible, to retreat from the world and to be able to find things.
However, left to her own devices she would end up in a “pig sty” and overwhelmed.
We have worked together over a couple of years with systems and support from me, and there are now periods where she will keep on top of her room really well. They are periods of her life where she is well regulated and coping in other areas.
When she is overwhelmed in general, this is reflected in the state of her room and her executive functioning skills are impaired in general.
At the moment, she is nearing “pig sty” mode.
Today, I will go into her room and remove obvious rubbish and dirty clothing - most of the dirty clothes will be in wash bin as we have worked on this over time, but there are bound to be a few clean things.
I will take them out - this is ongoing, as sometimes she takes the “I have worn it so it is dirty” approach, even to clothing such a jeans which aren’t dirty and could be worn again. Alternately, when she is attached to a particular item or clothing she might insist that it is not dirty, when it is.
We have agreed that I can take dirty clothes and rubbish when she is not there, this took time and trust though.
For me to tidy it all when she isn’t in is something that causes stress, even with good intentions, as she then can’t find her things or cope with the unexpected change. Things that look like rubbish to me might actually be important to her.
I will fold clean clothes but I will not put them away, she needs to do that herself so that she can find them. I will support with that it necessary. They go in a box for now, beside drawers.
When DD gets home today, I will suggest to her that we could spend 10 minutes tidying her room, later on.
If she is very resistant to this, “No, I’ve had a hard day” for example, fair enough. I will tell her “I need it to be done by Sunday night, give me a shout when you are ready”.
This will happen, maybe with the odd reminder of “let me know when you are ready”. She might need a lot of support and encouragement, she might need very little. This has taken a lot of time and practice.
She knows how that she feels calmer in a tidy room (this took a while for her to recognise too, she used to feel safer in a messy “nest”).
The drawers are all labelled (we did this together with a label maker, she has one and she loves making labels now). There are separations in some drawers - a part for pants, one for socks, one for swimwear. Nothing is assumed. She picked categories.
This was a work in progress for a while, we kept reviewing it together to see what helped, including changing furniture or choosing new storage solutions together.
Other boxes and drawers are labelled. “Art supplies” is too vague. “Coloured pencils/scissors/glue” is more helpful.
If she is struggling then we set a 10 minute timer (I promise to leave after 10 minutes and stick to that) and do it in parts. She might watch and I talk her through it but she doesn’t contribute much.
At the end, with a tidy base, she can easily hoover and wipe surfaces and always does that part.
As part of morning ticklist she makes her bed.
I still help with the evening “what do we need for tomorrow?” checklist, in means she knows where her clothes and supplies are in the morning, better for us all.
About 30 % of the time, these days, she will suddenly decide to tidy by herself and call out to me for fresh bedcovers and a bin bag, and our dirty clothes in the hall and ask me to take them. She will do a brilliant job and her room looks beautiful. This has taken time though and she isn’t always capable of this.
My daughter is what used to be described as “high functioning” (which is a bloody unhelpful label sometimes; she might be academically capable and masking whilst in the gutter with her mental health).
I help her because I love and respect her. I know what it feels like to struggle with the things others appear to find easy and to feel like a lazy failure (and that can definitely be covered with bravado or “rudeness” which is actually anxiety).
One day, in the “real world” my DD will use ten minute timers for herself. She might label things. She will have a system for period pants! But she will still “fail” in some areas and excel in others. I hope though that she will always be kind to herself and to any neurodivergent children that she has (and is statistically more likely to have).