Close family members disinterested in our baby - unsure if normal or not?

[Birminghambabe]

I’m not really sure how I feel on this one. Myself and DH have a 3 month old and of course to us the centre of our whole world.

I’ve always been a firm believer of just because you’re getting married, having babies etc doesn’t mean everyone else around you is going to be as obsessed as you are because they’ve got their own life going on.
Yet for some reason since our baby has been born part of me is a bit miffed that one of my siblings and one of DH siblings are so disinterested in the fact we’ve had a baby. They never ask how baby is, haven’t met our baby yet (have cancelled plans to do so or said they’re busy).
At the same time I’m saying to myself it’s fine, they’re not baby people, they didn’t ask to be an aunt and uncle etc but when people mention how our siblings are loving auntie and uncle life I say they haven’t met our baby and they follow with “wow, that’s so bad!”

Please let me know what you think about this? Right now I’m not super hurt about it, but as time goes on maybe I am getting a bit bothered

YANBU - They probably should at least ask how baby is, maybe make a bit of effort
YABU - It’s fine that they aren’t interested, they’re just not baby people

It's odd, especially as you are willing to travel. Some people just don't seem to have any interest in their family though. You see it all the time on here

I have a twin sister I'm very close to.

I've got two kids and she is happy to talk about them, but no real interest. I know she loves them and will definitely be a cool aunt, but she's just not a baby/kid person.

Each to their own!!

Not at all but I was raised that just because you are related doesn’t mean you have to like let alone love each other. My husbands sisters kids are exactly that plus the oldest is annoying as shit 😅

I think we've been talking more generally lately, Birminghambabe. It's clear that you have a very levelheaded and balanced approach to your Sister and DH's brother's lack of enthusiasm. You seem lovely. Congratulations on your precious baby boy.

I absolutely adore my nephew, I don’t have children myself but I honestly love him so much. I love to be part of his life and am here to help as much I can. BUT when he was a baby I was useless, I didn’t get involved at all, I feel a bit sad now but at the time I just didn’t know what to do so stayed out of it until he was about 1. Always wanted to hear about him though. So their loss. Don’t worry about it.

My bro doesn't give a crap about my DC - it's hurtful but it is what it is. I love him too much to hold it against him.

For the avoidance of doubt, I loved both my babies to bits, still do now they are grown up, but I have never been able to work up very much interest on other peoples' babies. They just seem like ugly little aliens with big heads that make the most awful noise. And I find other women who are only interested in babies a bit tedious. Sorry, but that's the way I am.

DS is 2

Number of times family have seen him.

GPs - 5
Brother - 5
Brother - 1
Sister - 0
Sister - 0
Sister - 0

They're not interested, I'd rather fill his life with people that are.

OP, you have a sensible attitude and I applaud you for it. It would be lovely if your sister and in-laws took an interest, of course, but you are giving yourself peace but accepting the situation for what it is.

Enjoy the time with the new member of your family!

I don’t understand why anyone would think anyone else would care about your kids…
It makes no sense.
And calling people names or whatever if and when they don’t care, is just beyond crazy.

Some parents really need a reality check.

I just find it bizarre that people think 'not being a baby person' is a good reason not to meet your own neice/nephew. It would be more understandable to me if the op and her husband were not very close with thier siblings in the first place and hardly ever talked anyway. But if that's not the case op is justified in thinking they should have met the baby by 3 months old and I would be hurt too.

My sister is not a baby person and lives 3 hours away but I know for a fact that if I had another baby she would plan a visit. She just wouldn't be changing any nappies!

I think it shows you and the siblings are polite but not very close. The only babies I give a shit about are those of people who I love and I am super close to. I would not go out of my way to meet a baby, it would be more to see the happy couple and chat etc.

It's OK to be a little bit sad but move on, recognize you're not close and keep them out of your mind.

My sister isn't massively into babies and I'm not really a dog person but she set up a standing order to pay some money into my baby's savings account each month and I buy her dogs Christmas presents. Not saying they should do that but even if you're not bothered it doesn't take long to ask after your family member's child every now and then.