Being filmed by another diner in a fancy restaurant

[Changedmymindtoday22]

Here is the scenario.
I went to a very fancy restaurant this week.
A couple at the next table were very keen on filming every move they made on their phones, fine.
Next thing… they whip it out a tripod in the restaurant and place their phone to film themselves enjoying their meal.
The camera is also pointing at me.

They take the camera and I can see that I am also (unnecessarily captured) by the angle they were shooting.
They proceeded to do this 3 times, for a couple of minutes at a time.

WWYD in this situation?

A. Say nothing?
B. Ask couple to stop?
C. complain to fancy restaurant staff?

I did one of the 3, but am genuinely torn about what the best thing to do in this rather bizarre situation that made me quite uncomfortable.

I will share what happened next once I gauge opinions.

Option A. I honestly wouldn't mind.

There's a fancy tea room near us that's a magnet for instagrammers. It's very girly think pink. I don't notice the cameras but a tripod is a step too far.

I’d expect the restaurant to sort this out but no way should you be filmed inadvertently whether it’s for an influencer for Instagram or their own personal video.

The manager it sounds like was lying about you not being filmed as he didn’t want the people filming to make a scene about not being able to film/use their footage.

Really bad form of the restaurant and would be flagging it up with the owner of the restaurant.

i would have asked them to move the camera so I wasn’t in shot.

we had a problem in the gym lately we people filming for various social media things. Although they usually are in full make-up/blow dry etc, I rarely look my best and don’t want to be filmed.
as filming is banned in the gym and it was usually at a time when there are under 18’s in there, they did put a stop to it pretty quickly,

Virtually every smart London hotel has really strict policies around filming and photography. My friend had her wedding at Claridge's and they had to get special permission to be photographed in certain areas.

You've missed the point! OP isn't talking about advertising and what she's rightly calling desperately sad, are these 'Influencers' who revel in making their lives look 100 times better & more privileged than everyone else and making them feel shit about their own lives. That IS desperately sad.

I saw an Instagram reel being shown on someone else's page recently, it was a 'Day in the life of a Stay at Home Girlfriend" beginning with her waking up at 9:30 in her luxury bedroom, putting on her luxury robe and doing her skin routine, complete with close ups of her luxury skincare products. She then got dressed and did close ups of her designer clothes and diamond earrings. She then did all this trendy 'herbal tea & toast made from bread that looks like it's from the Middle Ages' business. Followed by a shot of her sat on her backside for a while before going for lunch with friends at The Savoy (complete with close ups of the sign on the front of the building, naturally).
Then her wealthy meal-ticket boyfriend comes home and whilst she's getting ready for them to go out to eat, he naturally hands her a Louis Vuitton bag "just because..." The clip ends with him helping her into their luxury sports car with looking gleefully into the camera......

You're telling me that the above is not desperately sad? (And utter bullshit of course) It was almost satirically obvious that it was designed to insight not just jealousy & envy but gigantically unrealistic (& massively shallow) expectations from relationships.
This girl was not a day over 21/22 which I'm not saying is wrong - for her to be a stay at home girlfriend, that's their choice of course. What I find f'ed up is how many young impressionable girls will see that and the millions of other reels designed to make them feel like their life is shit and/or that it's realistic to simply expect to live off your boyfriend and to be showered in luxury gifts. So, so messed up

@Nanaof1 New York minute???? Have you been listening to Radio 2?

Betty's by any chance?!

I’ve seen Instagrammers in various locations (last one I can recall was Shoreditch House Hotel which I suppose is sort of exclusive… the Instagramner looked really stupid posing around the bar and other areas. I personally think it’s a bit sad of them to do this but I guess that’s their work. If they have an agreement with the venue that’s fine but I do think it’s a bit off of them not to ask permission.

Somewhere else I went (Simpsons) and a couple of instagrammers suddenly started filming (not near me but near enough to hear), I think they just took a chance on being able to film but with tripod and phone etc. A very hoity toity posh woman at the next table thought she was in their shot and immediately complained to the manager who spoke to them and after a swift exchange with of words the instgrammers settled their bill and just left on the spot. From what I could hear they were trying to say they were there for pleasure but the way they were filming and checking the angles and reshooting they definitely weren’t. From what I could hear the manager fell over himself apologising to the hoity toity posh woman who quite rightly was annoyed.

This makes me laugh out loud and shows what absolute cunts people are on here. A lady was complaining about trades people photographing her house inside without her permission and you were all cool with that.

Didnt need her permission apparently

Claridges?

It's such a shame it was handled so badly OP. Complain! You've been looking forward to this for ages and the evening was completely ruined for you. If this is the Savoy I'll be really disappointed and would totally feel the same as you!

Even if the Manager didn’t make it obvious that it was you who had complained, wouldn’t it clearly have been a complaint from you seeing as you’re right next to them?

Or did you expect the Manager to say, ‘can you not film in here’ etc? I would have just asked to move tables instead!

The shard? I've seen lots of influences their filming. It wouldn't bother me if I was in the shot so I'm saying A

It’s not a London hotel.
If I spot the reel I’ll let you know and you can DM to see it. Oh I hope it’s posted.

I will complain.
I will Tripadvisor review.

This couple were maybe mid to late thirties. They were dressed normal, so tbh I was surprised when I saw how shallow they were.

It never occurred to me to ask to change tables, I was totally flabbergasted.
I wouldn’t confront someone in that situation cause you don’t know what sort of bat shit you could be dealing with.

I took a photo of the phone on said tripod. I’ll share a close up. They likely saw me taking it when they reviewed their precious footage.

The camera was taken away by the time the manger raised it with them.

The person with me had their back turned so didn’t see what I saw. They were driving so only champagne for me. To stay at the venue would equate to a deposit for a small
house!
Had he been seated where I was he agreed he would have done the same thing as me.

Why won’t you name the restaurant?

Also laughing at New York minute (wooh weeeee oooh)

My personal view is what you are paying for is time out for yourselves and relaxation and a stress free treat of lovely food.

Perhaps it is worth pointing out to the mangagement that this is what the majority of people go to such venues for. Not be filmed or have the stress of dealing with that.

On that basis - as well as writing a letter of complaint I would be asking for a complete refund also, as a priority an apology in writing. The restaurant was not 'fit for purpose' or 'for the purpose for which it is commonly used' according to consumer law.

Nowadays, where some people feel is okay to film every aspect of human life (in a public space or no) - the spaces where people can just 'be' and relax, are being diminished.

I would guess also that many people value the place for privacy and relaxation, particularly, but not exclusively famous people...(?)

So in the long run, the establishment may not be aware that if they allow this, they are likely to lose regular customers and new ones.

What a pair of tossers and as for the manager - he needs to learn how to do his job.

When you are paying good money for a supposedly good meal that shit should not be allowed - it is not like it is McDonalds or similar.

What is this a picture of? Is that the people filming or is that you?

Le Manoir? Although, I am secretly hoping it wasn't given the appalling way your complaint was handled.

I would have asked them to stop as they were ruining my dining experience.
(But I have zero tolerance for this behaviour).

I would write a letter to the head of the restaurant.

Lots of places have policies now.

I'd have kicked their tripod over in a rage then thrown their food over their heads!

Well in reality, 'C'. I'd have said something to the staff/manager. It's really not on being filmed like that against your wishes.

No way. Their filming / photography policy is really strict.