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Original poster

To tell her she’s going to lose her job?

178 replies

SunsetBeauregarde · 04/07/2023 18:55

My work colleague called me last week, she’s having a very hard time on a particular project and she was in tears. She was threatening to hand her notice in due to a number of issues but mostly, she’s just completely sick of this particular project that will be ongoing for another couple of years.

My advice to her was to protect her mental health, take a couple of weeks off and then come back with a fresh set of eyes. If she still wants to leave, then at least she’s making such a big decision without emotion and anger. I thought this was good advice Sad

Except today I’ve been told in strict confidence that the project has been terminated and everyone with over 80% of their time on it is going to lose their job in a couple of months time. This includes my colleague. She has 15 years so could get a decent redundancy if she doesn’t hand in her notice. If she does, she’ll miss it.

The person who gave me this information is my boss and he’s confided in me and me alone. He’s the CEO, if he ever found out I’d warned my colleague I would 100% be sacked for misconduct. My role is in finance so I’ve been told only due to half year end stuff I won’t bore you with.

WTF do I do?? I love my colleague, she’s lovely and I trust her but it’s such a massive risk to tell her. WWYD?

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 04/07/2023 18:58

Won't she (and the others) realise quite soon that the project is terminated? Not least as the redundancy process takes a while.

user1471447924 · 04/07/2023 18:58

I don’t think you can tell her directly but you can extremely strongly encourage her to stay in her role until the project actually is terminated, without saying why. Once she finds out she’ll probably realise why you encouraged her not to resign.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 04/07/2023 18:59

I won’t tell her - but would would make sure she didn’t leave.

Dotandtime · 04/07/2023 19:00

This is why I don't have friends at work.

A colleague, I'd leave things to work themselves out. I wouldn't be suggesting she resigns, but I also wouldn't be persuading her not to. My loyalty would be to the do the right thing for the company/protecting my job.

For a friend, I'd have to find a way to tell her it's in her interests to stick it out.

Trainsplanesandfeet · 04/07/2023 19:00

Tell your boss that she is thinking of leaving and let him advise her not to

Northernsouloldies · 04/07/2023 19:00

Don't say a word, Redundancy is a life changing thing your colleague may go off like a firework and tell all and sundry of the upcoming redundancies. That's definitely not worth the risk for your own employment.

Original poster
SunsetBeauregarde · 04/07/2023 19:00

It will officially wrap up at the end of this year, so December. They’re not going to communicate it until after another thing happens which won’t be until the start of October Sad

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 04/07/2023 19:00

Trainsplanesandfeet · 04/07/2023 19:00

Tell your boss that she is thinking of leaving and let him advise her not to

It depends on the boss. They may want her to quite to save redundancy pay.

Original poster
SunsetBeauregarde · 04/07/2023 19:02

My boss is the CEO and owner and would see it as a gift if she handed her notice in given he would then not need to pay her redundancy!

OP posts:
Marchintospring · 04/07/2023 19:02

I’m rubbish at following the rules . I wouldn’t tell her the whole sorry but I’d tell her to hang on in.
I’m not sure how carrying on doing her job would get you in trouble.

FOJN · 04/07/2023 19:02

I wouldn't tell her.

I agree you can strongly encourage her to stay and possibly hint there may be changes in the pipeline but I don't think you can do more than that. The only problem with this plan is if she resigns anyway and then learns about the redundancy she will know you knew about it and didn't tell her. Maybe on reflection it's better to leave well alone as hard as that will be.

She may resign and find a much better job.

BigChesterDraws · 04/07/2023 19:03

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Ouchee · 04/07/2023 19:04

Trainsplanesandfeet · 04/07/2023 19:00

Tell your boss that she is thinking of leaving and let him advise her not to

He would want her to go he'd save a redundancy payment.

Elvis1956 · 04/07/2023 19:04

Trainsplanesandfeet · 04/07/2023 19:00

Tell your boss that she is thinking of leaving and let him advise her not to

That is probably the best advice I've seen on here for ages (and I am not trying to be funny). However, the boss is CEO and will be only too happy I expect not to pay redundancy...if she doesn't mind then do tell them

Overthebow · 04/07/2023 19:04

You can’t tell her. It’s unfortunate but nothing you can do.

Notimeforaname · 04/07/2023 19:05

Dont tell her . It's not your job to sort her life.

Lucyintheskywithadiamond · 04/07/2023 19:06

Don’t tell her. You have no control on what she would do with this information. She might tell someone else and they might pass it on to someone and before you know it is common knowledge. Keep it to yourself unless you are prepared to be fired for misconduct as you have stated.

GeriatricMumma · 04/07/2023 19:06

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Why would you out someone like that??

notacooldad · 04/07/2023 19:06

Do not breathe a word about redundancies but strongly advise friend to stay. Use sentences like ‘ trust me on this one but you need rptovstsy, I can’t put my finger on it but I’m sure you’re better off staying for now’ Well that’s a bit clumsy but words like that.

Parisj · 04/07/2023 19:07

Stick to your advice to take time off for mental health and not take a rash decision about resigning. Morally that's already what you were telling her and that advice happens to still be in her interests. Don't hint or tell, that would be a huge risk and jeopardise yourself. If necessary, tell her that due to your roles it would be inappropriate for you to discuss the project outside work and signpost her to any in work support.

BovrilonToast · 04/07/2023 19:07

One of the things about working in finance is that you are placed in a position of trust.

If you breach this and your boss finds out, you'll probably find you're next.

I know how you feel, I've been in this position before too, but there really is nothing you can do without compromising your professional integrity.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 04/07/2023 19:08

Do everything you can to convince her to stay without actually telling her? I don’t know what else you can really do.

Wheredidtheselotapego · 04/07/2023 19:10

what’s her relationship like with the other people working in the project? If she’s not close to them then I would be tempted to tell her as she wouldn’t have anything to gain from telling them the news.

Notreallyhappy · 04/07/2023 19:11

Don't tell her what you know but encourage her it's been shit and hard on the project and it will.blow over in time for the (never gonna happen) next one.. sometimes work is really hard etc etc chat.

Thankfulforthenewday · 04/07/2023 19:11

I’d just point her in the direction of this thread and leave it at that. She could negotiate an earlier redundancy and then the boss won’t have to pay her for months on a wasted project? Win win for them both.