To tell her she’s going to lose her job?

[SunsetBeauregarde]

My work colleague called me last week, she’s having a very hard time on a particular project and she was in tears. She was threatening to hand her notice in due to a number of issues but mostly, she’s just completely sick of this particular project that will be ongoing for another couple of years.

My advice to her was to protect her mental health, take a couple of weeks off and then come back with a fresh set of eyes. If she still wants to leave, then at least she’s making such a big decision without emotion and anger. I thought this was good advice

Except today I’ve been told in strict confidence that the project has been terminated and everyone with over 80% of their time on it is going to lose their job in a couple of months time. This includes my colleague. She has 15 years so could get a decent redundancy if she doesn’t hand in her notice. If she does, she’ll miss it.

The person who gave me this information is my boss and he’s confided in me and me alone. He’s the CEO, if he ever found out I’d warned my colleague I would 100% be sacked for misconduct. My role is in finance so I’ve been told only due to half year end stuff I won’t bore you with.

WTF do I do?? I love my colleague, she’s lovely and I trust her but it’s such a massive risk to tell her. WWYD?

The advice you have given her is good advice, and the circumstances you have found out about don't change that. You are simply not at liberty to tell her more. I was shouting "no, no!" reading some of the posts suggesting you tip her a nod and a wink without precisely telling her. Just - don't. Confidential information is confidential.

I remember being asked to look up a colleague's sick record when that was part of my job, many years ago (I was in my 20s but as green as a schoolgirl). On seeing her in the restroom I felt it would be decent to drop her a quiet warning. What did the daft mare do but go down the corridor shouting furiously to everyone who would listen about how unfair and unjust the managers were being, looking into her sick record as though she'd done something wrong or something... Of course there was only one possible source of the leak - Muggins. I didn't get the sack, but the carpeting I did get left me sadder and a lot wiser, to the extent that I still wince remembering it 40 years later. Maybe your friend wouldn't do that. But maybe she would...

And this is why it sucks to be in management. You’re not a horrible person and would be risking your own job and reputation if you said anything. I would highly encourage you to put a little non obvious distance between you and colleague if you can. If there is a power dynamic difference you probably should have done so at the beginning for this very reason.

Be professional and don’t say anything to her - it would be a huge breach of trust with your employer. Your friend needs to make a decision as to what’s right for her. December would be a long time to hang on if she is really unhappy and it is damaging her mental health. And however good a friend she is, you shouldn’t risk your own position and integrity for her. Tough on you but that’s what being professional and employable in your role requires.

Sometimes in life you need to protect yourself. No matter how highly you think of someone. I wouldn't say anything about the subject anymore. Look after you OP ❤️

There are thousands of companies in the uk, there is no info linking to her company or her???

Good advice to anyone is not to leave until she has another position so perhaps that should be your angle. Suggest she hangs in there, and tries to sort out MH and stress so that she leaves into a new role without shadow of whether she feels capable of taking on whatever new role she gets elsewhere. It might be she gets a new job before redundancy is announced or it might be she doesn’t and collects redundancy pay but either way your conscience will be clear. If no more that statutory redundancy then it will be a week’s per year earned, so not a huge amount but would definitely cushion a gap between jobs and a better story to a future employer

Extra redundancy pay is always nice, but is it harder to get a job after redundancy than while you're still employed?

No. It makes no difference. It might actually be a benefit because you don’t have to work notice.

I really don’t envy you @SunsetBeauregarde, it’s a horrible position to be in.

If you consider this colleague a friend, I would hire an actor to dress up as a Guru / Sadhu (Sadhguru type) and have them approach her in the street out of the blue when she is on the way home. He would go up to her and say ‘You! Yes… you want to quit your job! I see it in your spirit. Don’t!!! You must wait. It will not be long now, a new opportunity is coming. Soon. Soon!! But for now, you must wait!” And then he shuffles away.

:):):)

She may or may not think of this as a ‘sign’ but at least you have done something.

Alternatively, you could say to your boss “I have a feeling that X could be persuaded to go early for the right package” and see if he wants to explore it. In this scenario do not tell him that she wants to quit.

I would be ‘suggesting’ that she may want to stay. In person, verbally and nothing in writing. She’s a lovely person and 15 years is a good shift

Before anyone accuses me of stereotyping I am just getting the idea from something that did actually happen to me, with a real Sadhu. He came up to me randomly on the street and pointed at my belly and advised me to go the doctor. I followed his advice and discovered I needed an operation.

So I make the above suggestion with love and not meaning to stereotype!

Literally don't breath a word or hint at it. Massive breach of trust if you do and you would deserve to be fired for misconduct. If you are in finance you presumably have professional obligations too.

Do not do this. The last thing you need is your colleague at the end of her tether screenshotting this and sending it anywhere in your company. It’d be obvious who you are. Keep quiet, this is confidential information and if she asks your advice advise her to go off sick to recover.

I would just say to friend that the economy is tanking so it's not the time to be last one in through the door anywhere at the moment because there is a risk of being first one out as cuts take place.

I was in a vaguely similar situation once. I wanted to tell my friend what was going on but I just couldn't trust him not to keep his mouth shut. It only affected him but I'm pretty sure he would have rushed up to the Manager and given him both barrels and it would have been obvious who told him. I kept quiet and it didn't happen anyway, I was so relieved I'd kept my own councel but still felt guilty if I'm honest.

Don’t say anything about the project but if she is still thinking of leaving encourage her to find a new job first. That might delay her long enough and finding a good job to move to would be better in the long term than getting redundancy pay but having a gap in employment or have to take a job she didn’t really want.

Yes, or at the very least tell her not to leave until she has a job to go to. It might take her a while to find something, and that might buy her the time.

Exactly this.

And the OP said early on in the thread that she had thought of this and acted accordingly - ie I assume she's changed a lot of the relevant information.

Just tell her.
Redundancy will be good for her.

Employers dont really care about employees they would replace you in a blink of eye and forget you within a week.

They just want to save redundancy money amd if friend hangs on in there she will get it.

Teams in other companies across the country will be losing their minds!

If you tell her, you are risking dismissal. She may well tell others on the project. If she tells even one you will lose your job.

I would definitely tell her but that's just me

Why not tell her to spend the summer - while lots of people are away and workload might be lower - getting her CV in order, so that she's ready for recruiters when things pick up in the Autumn.

I would stay quiet because I can see this backfiring on the OP if she lets the cat out of the bag. Once her friend gets sacked just say you knew nothing end of.