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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell her she’s going to lose her job?

178 replies

SunsetBeauregarde · 04/07/2023 18:55

My work colleague called me last week, she’s having a very hard time on a particular project and she was in tears. She was threatening to hand her notice in due to a number of issues but mostly, she’s just completely sick of this particular project that will be ongoing for another couple of years.

My advice to her was to protect her mental health, take a couple of weeks off and then come back with a fresh set of eyes. If she still wants to leave, then at least she’s making such a big decision without emotion and anger. I thought this was good advice Sad

Except today I’ve been told in strict confidence that the project has been terminated and everyone with over 80% of their time on it is going to lose their job in a couple of months time. This includes my colleague. She has 15 years so could get a decent redundancy if she doesn’t hand in her notice. If she does, she’ll miss it.

The person who gave me this information is my boss and he’s confided in me and me alone. He’s the CEO, if he ever found out I’d warned my colleague I would 100% be sacked for misconduct. My role is in finance so I’ve been told only due to half year end stuff I won’t bore you with.

WTF do I do?? I love my colleague, she’s lovely and I trust her but it’s such a massive risk to tell her. WWYD?

OP posts:
Doingtheboxerbeat · 04/07/2023 19:12

I agree with the pp and keeping your own counsel - you tell her in confidence and she tells someone else in confidence and on and on it goes.

Ladyface · 04/07/2023 19:12

Don’t put your own job and reputation at risk - as previous posters have said, you don’t know how she might react with that information. You could suggest that given the current economic situation she should find another job before handing in her notice which should bide some time.

Whataretheodds · 04/07/2023 19:13

It's now early July, the project has been terminated, and most of the people on the project are going to lose their job in a couple of months' time, but also nothing is going to be announced till October?

That doesn't make sense.

lousyatchoosingnames · 04/07/2023 19:14

Just tell her to stay, big up the perks of the company etc

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 04/07/2023 19:14

Op what you gave her IS good advice. Her mental health comes first, redundancy package or not. She needs to make her decisions based on how she's feeling and her prospects now. I'd think very little of someone who hung on only for redundancy.

zurala · 04/07/2023 19:15

Do not tell her. Just advise her to stay in the role, or to look for other jobs. Like you would if you didn't have this information. Do not hint at anything if you value your own job.

Roselilly36 · 04/07/2023 19:15

Keep it too yourself, the CEO has confided in you, your colleague won’t know that you knew.

readbooksdrinktea · 04/07/2023 19:16

Don't risk your own job for this. That's madness. Don't say anything.

Dotandtime · 04/07/2023 19:16

SunsetBeauregarde · 04/07/2023 19:00

It will officially wrap up at the end of this year, so December. They’re not going to communicate it until after another thing happens which won’t be until the start of October Sad

They have to give her 12 weeks' notice if she's been there 15 years

What's the sickness absence policy? Could she go sick until October?

Bunnycat101 · 04/07/2023 19:17

Will redundancy even be that much? It sounds like it’s a small ish private company so not necessarily large, life changing sums a la public sector payout. It would obviously be helpful but if she’s not happy, she may well be better finding something right rather than hanging on for 6 months for a payoff.

HabberdasheryAddict · 04/07/2023 19:18

@SunsetBeauregarde, this thread could potentially outing - you've given so many details that, put together, could identify you...

Original poster
SunsetBeauregarde · 04/07/2023 19:18

Sadly, yes. This is part of the fabled restructure Sad

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/07/2023 19:20

I don’t think you can tell her as it’s bound to get out that you blabbed.

Instead I think I’d start encouraging her to stay for the foreseeable, in as subtle a way as I could.

Original poster
SunsetBeauregarde · 04/07/2023 19:20

Thank you for the concern, I have thought about this and acted accordingly.

OP posts:
Zebrasinpyjamas · 04/07/2023 19:20

I'm in a similar job to you. I would not tell her. I'd actually stop advising her entirely at this point. You can't "win" either way. She has to make her own decisions on the facts as she knows it.

All you can do stick to your original advice..

smalalalalalala · 04/07/2023 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I would think people have better things to do than tracking posters across the site!

Rockingthestocking · 04/07/2023 19:20

There is an awful lot of private and confidential information you are privvy to in your role in Finance. I would strongly suggest that you say nothing as you will be breaking confidentiality rules. The business decision could be reversed, things change. I work in Finance and have had to bare similar knowledge which is a challenge emotionally, but I have learnt to always stick to the rules and processes for peace of mind and to know I am doing my job to the best of my ability. Honestly, hard though it is, if you were asked 'would you ever share sensitive company information?' your answer would , or at least should be no.

Backstreets · 04/07/2023 19:20

You’ve done nothing wrong op, maybe your advice will work and what she really needs is a break? Either she quits or gets fired (with redundancy), she’ll be out of a job by the end of the year anyway.

Original poster
SunsetBeauregarde · 04/07/2023 19:21

It does make sense but sadly I can’t clarify why without giving too much detail. All to do with notice and grace periods etc that are specific to the industry.

OP posts:
Careerdilemma · 04/07/2023 19:21

I would strongly encourage her to stay until she finds the right new job. That way if she does go at least it's to the right thing.

Original poster
SunsetBeauregarde · 04/07/2023 19:23

Rockingthestocking · 04/07/2023 19:20

There is an awful lot of private and confidential information you are privvy to in your role in Finance. I would strongly suggest that you say nothing as you will be breaking confidentiality rules. The business decision could be reversed, things change. I work in Finance and have had to bare similar knowledge which is a challenge emotionally, but I have learnt to always stick to the rules and processes for peace of mind and to know I am doing my job to the best of my ability. Honestly, hard though it is, if you were asked 'would you ever share sensitive company information?' your answer would , or at least should be no.

This is true and I know you’re right. I just feel desperately sad for her.

OP posts:
niclw · 04/07/2023 19:23

I 100% agree with other posters that you can't tell her. However I have a slightly different opinion on her current situation. You said that she is really unhappy and is taking time out to consider her position. By the sounds of it she is likely to decide that should would rather not work for your company. In which case let her make the decision to leave if that is her choice. Surely her well being is more important than whether she stays on for months (while being unhappy) then finally leaving with redundancy money. I worked with someone a few years back who was desperately unhappy and she made everyone else around her miserable with her moaning. A knock on effect was that I had decided that my role was not for me. When she left, I wasn't being moaned at constantly and I realised that her mind set had this negative impact on me. I work in a profession where things can be very toxic in some areas and I would always advise someone to leave if that's what they want to do. I'm still in the same job now. Sometimes it is just best to let people do what they want to do and not interfere! Additionally, she won't have the competition for jobs now compared to October when other colleagues are made redundant and are looking at the same time.

MaverickSnoopy · 04/07/2023 19:26

You can't tell her. As others have said, she might not keep it to herself. You're also assuming that the news of redundancy would encourage her to hang on and wait for a payout. If the job is getting to her this much and causing her so much difficulty, then telling her may make things worse for her as she's then battling with the job/her mental health and the guilt of perhaps walking away from a redundancy payment if she can't hang on.

I would offer her a lot of support to encourage her to stay in the job but I wouldn't push her.

oksirnowmoveon · 04/07/2023 19:27

I've been in a somewhat similar situation unfortunately and despite the fact we were "best mates", what I implied in confidence to protect her, bit me in the behind. Without going into too much detail, hinting was just as bad as speaking in confidence.

I feel for you, big time. Please do not say anything.

Flowers for your difficult situation

theemmadilemma · 04/07/2023 19:30

You don't tell her.

It's horrible. But it's work and life and it's not worth risking your own career to save hers.