To tell her she’s going to lose her job?

[SunsetBeauregarde]

My work colleague called me last week, she’s having a very hard time on a particular project and she was in tears. She was threatening to hand her notice in due to a number of issues but mostly, she’s just completely sick of this particular project that will be ongoing for another couple of years.

My advice to her was to protect her mental health, take a couple of weeks off and then come back with a fresh set of eyes. If she still wants to leave, then at least she’s making such a big decision without emotion and anger. I thought this was good advice

Except today I’ve been told in strict confidence that the project has been terminated and everyone with over 80% of their time on it is going to lose their job in a couple of months time. This includes my colleague. She has 15 years so could get a decent redundancy if she doesn’t hand in her notice. If she does, she’ll miss it.

The person who gave me this information is my boss and he’s confided in me and me alone. He’s the CEO, if he ever found out I’d warned my colleague I would 100% be sacked for misconduct. My role is in finance so I’ve been told only due to half year end stuff I won’t bore you with.

WTF do I do?? I love my colleague, she’s lovely and I trust her but it’s such a massive risk to tell her. WWYD?

This is tough for you OP not a nice situation to be in. I agree with the majority view that you can’t tell her and the advice you have given her already is right in encouraging her not to make any rash decisions.

Don't tell her.

Do find a way to keep her on course to stay until October!

Creative thinking needed for that perhaps?

I once had to do something similar when I found out that a pension scheme was being closed to new entrants and the new scheme wasn't as good.

I advised all of my team to sign up ASAP saying it was a good idea and nothing else. Thankfully most of them listened to me.

Do not tell her. My DH knew his job was going into consultation 8 weeks before it happened thanks to a well meaning but misguided boss who was trying to assuage her guilt. DH had nowhere to go with this info as he couldn't discuss it with anyone and it ruined our Christmas as he was so worried. It turned out Ok for him but the outcome would have been the same if he hadn't known and he wouldn't have had an extra hellish 8 weeks.

I think I would have to drop a very strong hint. Can you trust her not to talk? It would be a nightmare if she told other people at work.

I think I would say to her that you've been thinking about what you said, and that taking time off isn't a very good idea and she should perhaps give herself a bit longer before making any decision.

No point regretting it. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. You were miserable so you jobhunted. In what world is that not wise?

All you say is

listen very carefully, if I was in your shoes I’d not be handing in my notice until fireworks night. I never will repeat that so do with it what you want

“Look, I can’t tell you why or what I may or may not be aware of coming up in the near future but as a friend I strongly encourage you not to hand your notice in. Wait and see what happens in the next couple of months”

Give her ‘the look’ whilst you say it

Advise her to take long term sick rather than just quit

This is always a good strategy where mental health is involved as it can give time to recover and apply for new things with a better mindset without losing everything - and no gap between CV

Your boss should not have put you in this position. For the sake of your own job, do what you would have done if your own boss had told you nothing. The advice you gave was sensible.

I would tell her

Obviously advanced searching an OP isn’t the done thing. But since someone has done it, it’s provided a little context. @SunsetBeauregarde Is there any chance this is a trap? Deliberately aimed to trip you up?

Don't tell her - it's confidential.

Let it run its course. You gave her the best advice you could for her. This would have happened anyway without your input.

Pretend you had no idea.

It may be the best thing for her to move somewhere else. It's up to her.

I agree that it was breaking confidentiality for your boss to tell you this so many months in advance, and now you have to carry it.
Perhaps it is a test.

if it was me, I would have another conversation with my boss and tell him up front that I have already had discussions with my friend, giving her advice about sick leave and leaving the job.
I would also say that I would continue to act as I would have without any knowledge about the forthcoming redundancies, namely continuing to advise her not to leave work, as any good friend would, at least not without thinking it through very carefully.

I would make it clear to him where I was drawing the line, too, and reiterate how I was adhering to professionalism, maybe even have him record that, (if you do have recorded supervision/conversations.)

I would just say to her that you strongly recommend that she sees the job out until Christmas, as there may be things in the pipeline that resolve her issues.

That’s vague enough not get in trouble, and she can still make her own decision. If she presses you, reiterate that if you were her you’d wait until Christmas.

Ooh intriguing.
Not gonna search.
I'd like to think friendship wd come first...but...tricky..

How about you put it in a fortune cookie and send it to her anonymously 😃

Why not say something like "give it til the new year and if things dont get better, you can leave then, new year new career ha ha ha"

It’s a big risk she will feel like she has to share it with others, say if she has someone on the project she’s particularly close to. As it would come back to you I wouldn’t risk it.

I would however strongly encourage her not to quit just yet. Could you tell her to give it 6 months and see if things improve? (Knowing the redundancy process will begin before then). Or tell her it’s a bad time to quit a job given the cost of living crisis, or without a job to go to. Anything to discourage her. She may put two and two together with you being in finance.

If you tell her either directly of indirectly and she spreads the news about your boss will know it’s because you said something. You would get the sack and the others on the project would hang on in until it was terminated and get redundancy. You lose out big time.

Keep your mouth shut. Colleagues are just that. Not friends. Keep it separate for your own sake. It’s not worth losing your job over when either way your colleague will not lose out (either leaves for new job or gets a shit load of redundancy!)

Strongly advise her to stay without saying why.

Keep out of it would be my advice. She may well find another job and leave and if that happens so be it - she will miss out on redundancy but have a better job. Anything you say to her puts you in jeopardy.

I worked for one of the big banks that had regular rounds of redundancies.

I saw people waste whole lifetimes waiting for "packages" that never came - they'd be redeployed at the last minute or be in the 50% retained etc. They spent their whole career hoping to leave but never making it happen.

If it's the right time for her to go, she should probably just go. You can't tell her anyway.

Look at it this way, or add this to your repertoire of ways of looking at it.

You are feeling shit because you can't share this with her. If you DID share it with her, in addition to all the other problems of sharing with her is the fact that you are passing the burden of confidentiality on. She will also know someone whose life will be changed if they know about the forthcoming plans and who is a friend. So you will also be passing on a lot of stress.

Honestly, this one will get picked up by the Daily Mail so that may do the job for you...

This. Unfortunately.