To not work full time?

[Lazym]

I have two children 16 and 12. Since my oldest turned 7 months I have worked part time. I cleaned in the evening for 8 years and for last 7 1/2 years I've worked in a supermarket 4 mornings a week, 4 - 8. Obviously when kids were younger this worked out well as I was back home for the school run and partner went to work. My youngest started secondary in September, so now childcare costs aren't an issue I've had comments from partner about finding a full time job. My point is I enjoy my job and am good at it so why should I leave this job to potentially start a job I could hate? The job I have doesn't have full time hours. I contribute to the household financially, pay for two weeks of food shopping every month and pretty much pay for all of the kids needs/clothes. One example, just spent £200 on my lad for his prom, partner paid nothing. So I work and do the usual household chores cook, clean, washing etc. Partner is very money obsessed, but I feel I pay my way too. From when they were very young he's always swanned off and done his own thing, leaving me to it. Another issue with working full time is my lad will be starting college in sept and he'll need a lift to the train station which is 6 miles away and collecting, so how am I supposed to do that? Just needed an opinion. Can never reason with partner as he's never wrong.

I hope the over riding take away from this thread is that most people really need to sort their shit out, even those who are married.
Being on the mortgage is not the be all and end all - when you are on the mortgage you are agreeing to be responsible for the mortgage even if he decides not to pay it. The absolutely first thing any solicitor advises men to do when they move out is to stop paying the mortgage, on the rationale that they need to house themselves elsewhere. I bet half the people on this thread who have a mortgage with their partner/hubby are not aware of this.

OP - most solicitors offer a half hour free session and can advise on what you could be entitled to or not. Get professional advice please. I wish you the best of luck with your next steps.

Unfortunately the law disagrees with you.
She is not entitled to any of his assets.

Yh I’ve just googled this 😱. Although it’s possibly not quite so clear cut- absolutely disgusting. Also it seems you can get courts involved and she has paid into a joint account that presumably the mortgage has come out of. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Of course it’s how it works. She doesn’t own the house. She isn’t married, her children are teens and she’s in her overdraft … what exactly do you think she would ‘walk away with’ if they split?

If you are doing all the housework/ dealing with the kids and working part time and he works full time but doesn't co tribute then I say you are doing your fair share. No way would I work more hours and still do everything I did when working part time hell no!!!

I think a cremation plan is a nice to have but possibly not the highest priority for your current situation, maybe reconsider that one.

I think you need to prioritise any debt then savings and pension.

Then instead of getting him to agree to helping more get him to agree to pay for a cleaner 😁

Op’s been very clear only he’s paid mortgage. She doesn’t know amount or mortgage term.
Putting some money in a joint account isn’t anywhere near enough to establish a beneficial interest. It’s an expensive and complex route legally.
There was a lady on here whose mum had contributed £25,000 to deposit and paid for expensive new kitchen in her boyfriend’s house - that’s type of scenario where getting legal advice on making a claim under Trusts of Land Act is appropriate (TOLATA claim)
Law works exactly that way in England - an unmarried woman leaves with no claim on his assets.

I just needed to sort that out as I didn't want my kids out of pocket over any funeral expense. I definitely need to do more hours to get out of debt and then think about savings. I do have a pension at work

I didn't know this regarding the solicitor, thank you for the advice

That would be like getting blood out of a stone I'm afraid

Thank you and your comments, good luck to yourself

Thays like 35 years ago he got the mortgage, what do you wanna bet ita already paid off? I'd take that bet happily

I'm pretty sure it's not paid off yet, more expensive properties increased the paying off time, sure it can't be much longer though

Fair doos lol then I suggest once tou have a FT job to you stop doing his life admin, don't wash his clothes or go do anything that benefits him alone 😁 Fav saying of mine ' let then set the bar and I will.neet them there 😉 he's taking ya for a mug and you deserve so much more

Never heard that saying before, very good!

Unfortunately in her current situation that is exactly how it works.

Do you have your pension projection figures OP?
It would be good to feel in control of this.

How much is your pension going to be worth a year OP?

Do you see yourself able to keep up physical labour in a supermarket until you're 67?

Whilst it's great that you are in a pension scheme, for a part time job in a supermarket the pension provision is not likely to be as much as you need to be comfortable in retirement. One important reason why it would be good to be working more hours and also looking to increase your pension contributions if you can.
If I were you I'd think about trying to maximise my earning power over the next couple of decades and ditch your DH who doesn't sound very nice.
You should be able to get part of the equity in the house with the help of a solicitor.

Out of interest what do you need to do for older secondary school/ college aged kids? Asking as a single parent who worked full time and my " baby" is now 19 and st uni

Get thee off to the registry office. Pronto. Takes ten minutes then you're legally on an equal footing to your partner. No need for a fancy wedding. It's about protecting yourself and your children should the worst happen.

Yeah, I don't get it. I'm a lone parent working full time with a teenager and I manage fine. Some people clearly can't manage their time properly, either that or they're still babying their older children by running around after them.

What difference does it make to you? If you’re happy with your set up, just get on with it.
She’s happy with hers and isn’t asking for your input.

I would take a guess that there's no chance her partner will marry her.