I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

[Lostsoul0307]

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

Que diable...?

On this thread, I think it's pretty clear that anything goes.

This thread has well and truly jumped the shark

About as many boundaries as the OP it seems! What a bizarre reply.

Fuck me i hope this is the husband

Do not say “fuck me” on a thread like this. It may be taken as an invitation.

I am surprised that the husband hasn't made an appearance earlier in this thread.

Just waiting for the stripper now 😬

@Motnight

I'd like to hear from the flag too.

🤣😂🤣

I don't see that. I see that MN elicits a lot of different ideas (advice) and the op and everyone else can weigh them up and decide what they're going to do. No-one automatically acts on advice given, do they? We do what we feel is best for us.

So, someone changing their mind is neither her nor there as far as I'm concerned.

I also hope we get a representative from the whipped aerosol cream lobby. They can make the case why using a high sugar product such as theirs balances out the salty spunk.

This. I was starting to doubt myself because I definitely don't think of that as "enjoying sex". And I don't understand how some are making out that OP is some kind of feminist heroine.

I still think OP should not tell her dh though. I can't see what it will achieve. Also, given that she was drunk she doesn't really know what she did or how long she was behind the flag. After all, time slows down when you're faced with a gigantic cream covered cock (naughty but nice), behind a big union jack flag encouraging you to do it for king and country.

Now I think about it the union jack flag is another detail that makes me think this isn't real but the work of a clever but mischievous trickster.

So DH now knows, is that the end of the thread or will the stripper appear, swathed in a flag and adorned with whipped cream?

Such an anti-climax

I would say what happened on the hen do stays at the hen party, relax and get on with your life. As for those saying how vile it was, in the right circumstances I would have done the same and not been ashamed. It was a bit of fun!

But this isn't an update is it?

This obvious and shameless attention seeking.

The DP doesn't know. The OP has posted an "update" about texting him and it was a text that had nothing to do with the stripper.

The OP must be having a right laugh at the expense of MN.

@Crunchymum

I'm pretty sure that poster wasn't being serious.

And who cares if someone is having a laugh at mumsnet? I often do too.

But starlight you’re not married

The plot thickens, to the consistency of whipped cream.

If my partner licked out a stripper for 4 minutes I'd definitely class that as cheating. Wtf op.

Come on! I know we are all enjoying this thread, but it’s all made up. Of course this is op or someone impersonating op’s dh. And I have to say that their attempt is incredibly clumsy. Fun though. Keep em coming.

By the op certainly.

If this is real op I think you should start doing stand up. With this story at the centre of your act. Let’s face it, you might as well reveal your identity. You’re famous now. Can I be your agent?

@XVII - I can still have an opinion regardless of my current martial status. I can comment as someone who has been married, been in long term relationships and been very single and free.