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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband binned my online order

129 replies

HopefulBeckie · 02/07/2023 19:42

I have an 8 month old and have had insomnia for a long time beforehand. Lately my sleep has gotten so bad after my baby had a few weeks of terrible sleep. I think maybe it’s because I got used to waking up so often that I’m constantly on edge even though he is only waking up like once sometimes twice now and goes back to sleep quite quickly.
I’ve constantly got headaches and am struggling to get through a few hours during the day without crying and having bad eye pain (I have had my eyes checked and have a new prescription for glasses).

so I’ve brought some otc sleeping tablets from an online pharmacy. It was a tracked delivery so was delivered today and signed for by my husband. He has hidden or binned them and not said a word to me about it.
Now I understand he is probably mad as I have had mental health issues in the past where I have abused sleeping tablets. But that was a long time ago and I would never do that again as I want nothing more than to be there for my family. Plus I need to tend to my son during the night so I’d only take half a pill just to get me off to sleep when things get really bad.
I literally don’t know what else to do to sleep as I fear I’m gonna get really Ill if I don’t take some sort of action.

Am I being silly?

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 02/07/2023 19:45

Have you spoken to him about it?

StaySpicy · 02/07/2023 19:45

It sounds like your husband is concerned your use of the sleeping pills will return to how it was before.

You need to have a conversation with him about how much your lack of sleep is affecting you and work with him to find a solution. I'm sure he's just worried, so talk to him.

LividHot · 02/07/2023 19:45

Come on.

If you’ve had issues with sleeping pills before then this is bonkers and he must be gutted.

I don’t think you’re making good choices.

HollyBookBlue · 02/07/2023 19:47

Why not talk to your husband about it. He'll tell you he binned them because he's worried about you. You tell him you bought them because you're worried about yourself. Then ideally he helps and supports you.

weqa · 02/07/2023 19:47

You need to be speaking to your gp, not buying drugs online. I think he has acted out of concern for you

Babsexxx · 02/07/2023 19:47

op hate to say yabu you have a history and rather than going to the gp your buying them online…huge red flag get to the gp.

bibbityboppityboo · 02/07/2023 19:47

I think your DH is probably worried - if you've had prior issues abusing them then I don't think it's responsible to get hold of them from an online pharmacy and try to only take half a pill an evening.

Can you seek help from a medical professional in person who might be able to advise other things to try?

Catchasingmewithspiders · 02/07/2023 19:47

You need to go to the doctor

For your headaches, your eye pain and support

There are other things than can help with insomnia than sleeping tablets e.g. anti depressants.

If you have abused sleeping tablets before going back on at this point without medical advice and support sounds risky

fivetriangulartrees · 02/07/2023 19:48

I understand the desperation of insomnia. I had good results with a few sessions of hypnotherapy. Would you give that a try?

Testina · 02/07/2023 19:48

Why aren’t you taking a whole pill and getting a proper night‘a sleep whilst he gets up to his child?

There is way too much additional information needed here, around your previous abuse. But if he really thought the right thing to do was take them (and it may be the right thing) he should have told you he was doing it.

Shearing · 02/07/2023 19:49

Your husband should not have binned them without speaking to you. Do you two have problems with communication? I find this really odd. However worried he was, he should have spoken to you. It’s very disrespectful and patronising what he did.

melj1213 · 02/07/2023 19:49

Have you actually spoken to him?

If you have said nothing and then sleeping tablets bought online (as opposed to just buying some Nytol at the supermarket) turn up on the doorstep when you have a small baby and a history of MH issues involving abusing sleeping tablets of course he's going to think the worst.

neilyoungismyhero · 02/07/2023 19:50

I agree with your husband..he is concerned about a relapse and the last thing anyone should be doing is buying meds online. You just don't know what you're buying IMO. Speak to your GP and your husband. They will have your best interests.

Heronwatcher · 02/07/2023 19:51

Did you tell him you were ordering and explain, and was he fine with this?

No he is not BU at all I don’t think, especially if this came as a surprise/ shock. And re your plan to “just take half a tablet” I don’t think this is how addictions work. I think you need to see your GP and try every option before sleeping pills (CBT, mindfulness, acupuncture, no caffeine, herbal remedies etc).

yogasaurus · 02/07/2023 19:52

If you’ve abused sleeping tablets in the past, then ordered some without seeing a GP, or talking to your partner taking them (would you be taking them while in charge of the baby?) then I can see why he’s concerned.

See your GP.

KarmaStar · 02/07/2023 19:53

Go with your dh to your GP and discuss between the three of you.
Also,try some self calming to help you sleep,meditation,mindful thinking,deep breathing,a bedtime routine to calm you,there's many things you can do besides taking a tablet which will resolve the problem for a night at the time but not resolve why you are on edge.
Good luck,I hope you sleep well soon 💐

MossCow · 02/07/2023 19:54

If he didn't know you had ordered them and they just arrived he probably panicked and thought "what the fuck is going on here!"

You must be able to see that ordering sleeping pills online when you have previously abused them is not a good plan.

A better plan would be your husband taking over some of the nights so you can sleep and you going to see your doctor.

moggerhanger · 02/07/2023 19:54

If they're OTC, why did you need to buy them online?

melj1213 · 02/07/2023 19:57

Shearing · 02/07/2023 19:49

Your husband should not have binned them without speaking to you. Do you two have problems with communication? I find this really odd. However worried he was, he should have spoken to you. It’s very disrespectful and patronising what he did.

We don't even know if he's binned them, the OP just doesn't know where they are.

For all we know the OPs DH signed for them, hidden them and is waiting to see if the OP is open and honest with him by asking him where they are or if she is going to go sneaking around trying to hide it from him.

Or he might have just signed for the delivery, put it away somewhere and forgotten about it and hasn't thought to say anything to the OP because he has no idea what is in the parcel and has been busy.

ZekeZeke · 02/07/2023 19:58

You need help OP.
Speak to your GP.

BapsOutFriday · 02/07/2023 19:58

Now I understand he is probably mad as I have had mental health issues in the past where I have abused sleeping tablets. But that was a long time ago and I would never do that again

You are lying. Probably to yourself.

People with prior issues with abusing sleeping pills that - genuinely - are never going to do that again, do not order more sleeping pills.

They just don't.

They never touch sleeping pills again.

maryberryslayers · 02/07/2023 19:59

You really shouldn't be using sleeping tablets whilst in charge of a baby, it's really irresponsible.

If you've had addiction issues previously with them, I'm not surprised he binned them.

Go to the doctor if you are struggling, not an online pharmacy.

Ask your husband to do the night feeds at the weekend so you can switch off and get some rest.

Original poster
HopefulBeckie · 02/07/2023 20:01

Thanks guys. Honestly I wasn’t thinking properly. I ordered them in the middle of the night. You’re right though it does seem stupid of me to do that even though I have good intentions. He is sleeping at the moment so will speak to him afterwards.
also I brought them online because I barely get out anymore due to feeling so tired and was scared to ask him about it because I was worried he would hate me for saying it. But I have literally made things worse by doing this and I guess have to deal with the consequences 😕

OP posts:
35965a · 02/07/2023 20:02

I don’t care if it’s wrong, but if your husband has binned the tablets then I agree with him. If my husband had previously abused a drug then ordered more of that drug I would be terrified of a relapse and would bin the tablets too. You need a doctor, please see your GP. I completely sympathise with the sleep deprivation - it’s so so hard when you have a little one and your sleep has been bad for so long. Also please speak to your husband.

veryfluffyfluff · 02/07/2023 20:04

I have had mental health issues in the past where I have abused sleeping tablets. speak to your GP.