Husband binned my online order

[HopefulBeckie]

I have an 8 month old and have had insomnia for a long time beforehand. Lately my sleep has gotten so bad after my baby had a few weeks of terrible sleep. I think maybe it’s because I got used to waking up so often that I’m constantly on edge even though he is only waking up like once sometimes twice now and goes back to sleep quite quickly.
I’ve constantly got headaches and am struggling to get through a few hours during the day without crying and having bad eye pain (I have had my eyes checked and have a new prescription for glasses).

so I’ve brought some otc sleeping tablets from an online pharmacy. It was a tracked delivery so was delivered today and signed for by my husband. He has hidden or binned them and not said a word to me about it.
Now I understand he is probably mad as I have had mental health issues in the past where I have abused sleeping tablets. But that was a long time ago and I would never do that again as I want nothing more than to be there for my family. Plus I need to tend to my son during the night so I’d only take half a pill just to get me off to sleep when things get really bad.
I literally don’t know what else to do to sleep as I fear I’m gonna get really Ill if I don’t take some sort of action.

Am I being silly?

The book 'The effortless sleep method' cures my insomnia when I was in my first year of motherhood. I saw it recommended here. Still works
for me now. Worth a try?

I'd talk to him about it, in case they never arrived, but at a neighbours house instead. Hypnotherapy is great, you should give it a go.

I can’t believe people think it’s ok for the husband to bin his wife’s tablets without speaking to her. It’s a fine line between care and control. And it’s silly, as if she really wanted the tablets, she could then just get them elsewhere.

A compassionate conversation is needed, not silent binning of the tablets.

How strong are they if they're over the counter? Are we talking online pharmacy where they consult before giving you the medicine or something like those herbal tablets?

This. What are these sleeping pills you are buying online? Sounds dodgy as hell.

They’re nytol

You can buy Nytol and melatonin online which are not really addictive as such. And herbal stuff. You can also buy z drugs which are more dependence-forming but we don’t know what the OP bought. It doesn’t necessarily have to be ‘dodgy’.

Isn't this the plot of a recent Marian Keyes novel? Because the protaganonist is also lying to herself in that.

Sorry cross-posted. Nytol is on the less serious end of the sleeping tablet spectrum, if you keep to the dosages.

My 17y has insomnia and her doctors suggested she take it now and again.

But with a history of tablet abuse you have to be really really careful.

Why is your DH sleeping now?

If you need medication, you get it from a doctor, not from some website. Come on OP. How would you feel if he bought some paediatric medicine online and fed it to your child?

We don't know he's binned them though.

The OP hasn't even spoken to him, all she knows is he signed for the delivery and then hasn't mentioned it to her.

There are 1001 perfectly rational reasons why this may have happened (he signed for it, put it away and then has forgotten to mention it to the OP - I've done that myself) as well as some more problematic ones and as yet we don't know which it is as the OP hasn't spoken to him to ask about the delivery at all.

Regardless of which, it's not like he's binning prescribed medication or her contraceptive pill to be abusive/controlling - if my partner had a history of MH issues exacerbated by abuse of sleeping pills, the second a sleeping pill entered our home without warning it would be going in the bin first and a conversation would be had second.

Ive never brought any of those type of sleeping tablets online. I abused zopiclone which was prescribed by my doctor. I’m not blaming anyone as it was totally my own fault whether stuffing with mental health or not but I was prescribed a months worth when I’d come out of a mental hospital which was probably not wise

You need to discuss your issues with your husband and make an appointment with the GP.

Buying drugs from the internet is always a terrible idea. Speak to your GP if you need help.

I don't blame your husband for throwing them away.

I guess because he helped out last night. Although I also got up with him as my baby was screaming mama. He doesn’t usually help in the night much. And when he does try to (which I am grateful for) I almost always get up to help. So my “break” isn’t really a break

you need to talk to your gp about coping with your insomnia
If the gp prescribes sleeping tablets your dh needs to step up and do some of the night wakes. Your dc is 8 months old I’d say it’s your dhs turn now.

Your dc has two parents, this shouldn’t all be down to you, whether he has to work or not.

I also think you should go to the go.

They may prescribe you something, or not, but I don’t think you should buy things otc when you’ve had problems in the past, and when you’ve got a little one.

Your DH may have put the tablets down and they have gone under something and he forgot to mention they arrived unless he is a passive agressive loon. A normal adult would have treated you like an adult and discussed it with you if he was worried.

Please see a GP or a practice nurse about your sleep. Sleep deprivation while looking after a baby is horrible, but sleep deprivation, plus a sleeping tablet trying to knock you out while you are looking after a baby has got to be hell.

Even Nytol is only recommended for occasional use to get you back into your correct sleep cycle and not more than a few nights in a row because of the potential for dependency but also the other (not insignificant) potential side effects it can cause.

The OP has a history of abusing sleeping tablets so clearly even "occasional use" is not a safe amount for her to take if it has not been discussed beforehand.

I work in a pharmacy and I have to have this discussion on a daily basis because so many people don't realise how dangerous long term use of OTC medications are and we actually have some patients we are not allowed to sell OTC sleeping tablets to because they were abusing them.

I thought as much. OP please speak to your GP and honestly to your husband, he has to step up as a parent and you need sleep.

Would you say the same about an alcoholic buying alcohol?

Go to your GP, I wouldn't be ordering drugs online anyway but given your history you should be speaking to a doctor who can ensure what you are doing is safe. If you are looking after a baby in the night I'm not convinced you should be taking anything. If you need to you need to go through a GP and have your husband take over looking after the baby overnight (assuming he isn't a brain surgeon or long distance driver etc and can live on less sleep in the short term). Your husband is looking out for you, I'd do the same in his position.

Sounds like you need a good talk....you also need to get out more ....have you considered you may have pnd?

Another suggestion that you talk to your GP, rather than try and self medicate. Given your past issues I can see why your husband didn't give you the pills. You really need to be sensible about this.