Husband binned my online order

[HopefulBeckie]

I have an 8 month old and have had insomnia for a long time beforehand. Lately my sleep has gotten so bad after my baby had a few weeks of terrible sleep. I think maybe it’s because I got used to waking up so often that I’m constantly on edge even though he is only waking up like once sometimes twice now and goes back to sleep quite quickly.
I’ve constantly got headaches and am struggling to get through a few hours during the day without crying and having bad eye pain (I have had my eyes checked and have a new prescription for glasses).

so I’ve brought some otc sleeping tablets from an online pharmacy. It was a tracked delivery so was delivered today and signed for by my husband. He has hidden or binned them and not said a word to me about it.
Now I understand he is probably mad as I have had mental health issues in the past where I have abused sleeping tablets. But that was a long time ago and I would never do that again as I want nothing more than to be there for my family. Plus I need to tend to my son during the night so I’d only take half a pill just to get me off to sleep when things get really bad.
I literally don’t know what else to do to sleep as I fear I’m gonna get really Ill if I don’t take some sort of action.

Am I being silly?

i would try this https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/promethazine/ the doctor suggested it for me and i works very well no side effects

If you didn’t tell him you were ordering them then he probably assumed the worst, and I don’t think you can blame given the circumstances. You need to talk to him about this.

You can order it for jet lag and fill in a questionnaire to get it authorised for
that.

Where?

Sorry if I've missed this OP, but why did you order Nytol online when you can just buy it in the supermarket?

I think a few places. One called Pharmica does.

I think the unreasonable thing is that neither of you appear to be up for talking to each other. He's not mentioned it and neither have you. Why don't you talk?

@Shearing that's a prescription. So as I said Melatonin is prescription only. You cannot purchase it OTC like Nytol.

Try the original drowsy version of Nytol (not the herbal one).
My GP recommended it to me years ago when they tightened up on prescribing sleeping tablets (I used to take 10 -12 annually, so didn't really consider myself addicted).
Boots and Lloyds both do non-branded versions.

If your taking other meds, or have had issues with sleeping tables in the past, maybe talk to your GP.

Maybe he was angry that you hadn't discussed this with him before ordering. Perhaps he should be doing some of the night-time routine?

Please read Again Rachel... It's an amazing book that explains why your husband did exactly the right thing here. Addiction never goes away. If you go back on the tablets, he would have to leave you or be an enabler. Maybe get support from an Addiction Group? NA maybe? Hope you get the support you need and if you managed to feel tempted but got over it, well done x something clearly has pushed you though so do see professional support x

It's annoying for you, but I think he's done you a favour, OP.

It's so hard having no sleep. I have a 6 month old and I regularly get no sleep. It's like torture after a while.

I would speak with your GP about any alternatives you can try. Bedtime yoga helped me and a long bath. Of course its not for everyone but there will be something that works 🤞

Maybe if he cared that much he shouldn’t have let OP get into this position in the first place and been sharing nights months ago. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, how can OP be expected to think clearly in this situation?

I would be talking to my midwife or GP rather then self medicate on something you’ve had problems in the pass. Of course he will be worried and not want you to take them

I'm with your husband here, if you have had a problem in the past you should no way be using them now without GP advice, especially when looking after a newborn. Go to the doctors explain the situation see what they can offer as treatment.

I experienced a similar situation with sleep. My DS was an appalling sleeper 2nd DS slept 12 hours - although I barely slept for 6 hours a night and these were broken.

I assumed it was that I had got into a pattern of constantly waking due to my first DS fast forward 13 years!!!!! I was fully through the menopause and not realising all my symptoms… sleepless nights, aching joints, feeling overwhelmed and finally racing heart and hot flushes. I was prescribed HRT after years of explaining my symptoms and literally with in days I slept like a baby!!!

Go to the Dr explain you can’t sleep it’s literally the “ red flag” to a GP. There are a number of health issues that can cause insomnia.

@HopefulBeckie - I have had years of insomnia - because of depression - and I have tried everything, from pillow sprays, supplements, audiobooks (which helped a bit) and hot milky drinks to Nytol and even zopiclone, but nothing worked until I tried the Feather and Down Sleep Butter - a rich body lotion which contains magnesium (which is supposed to really help with sleep), camomile and lavender.

From taking hours to get to sleep every night, I now fall asleep in 15-20 minutes - which feels like an absolute miracle.

And it isn’t sleeping tablets, so you don’t need to worry about using it for a long time - nor should your dh worry either.

I don’t think you’re being silly OP. I don’t see how binning your medication without speaking to you helps. It just makes you feel shame. I also find the assumption that you’re just about to go back down a slippery slope really insulting. Of course it’s a sign that help is needed, not one to be ignored, but removing your input from the solution and making a choice just to ‘fix it’ does nothing. You’ve got a baby for goodness sake and are exhausted, it’s a vulnerable time where you’re especially prone to want something you have previously abused. You need openness and uncompromising support from your DH to address the trigger (exhaustion). Sending love and strength - things will get better - please ask for the help you need but rally against judgement that this is you going backwards. Asking for help isn’t giving it, it’s refusing to give up.

Sounds like you need to go see a doctor before resorting to OTC meds especially if you have misused them in the past!
I would also be getting bloods checked at docs to make sure all your vitamin & mineral levels are ok as your tiredness could be a vitamin D, Iron or B12 deficiency.

Give husband the benefit of the doubt, he could just be concerned you are going to spiral into misuse again, until you have spoken to him properly.

Hi Op, I really feel for you reading this. I have always been a bad sleeper but especially so when I had my babies. My son woke loads in the night and I was too on edge to sleep when he slept. I eventually went to the GP and cried, I was so exhausted. The GP prescribed me anti depressants, Mirtazapine which also is used to help sleep. It’s been a life saver to get me back into a sleep cycle. The nights I took it, my husband stepped up to do all night feeds so I could benefit from the tablets and get about 8-10 hours sleep in a go which made me feel a whole different person. Goodluck

I really appreciate everyone’s comments and advice. I spoke to my dh about everything and we came to an arrangement where he will do the whole night on the weekends (and I’m gonna get some earplugs so I don’t keep getting up). Today he took my son to his moms and will do the same tomorrow too during the day to give me a break. Gonna book an appointment too to talk things over with my gp and go from there.

Well done OP 👏🏻 very glad your H was receptive and it’s great he is stepping up to help. Sometimes when you’ve got a baby, just a few good sleeps can make such a difference to everything - even a couple of uninterrupted hours can feel restorative (never would have said that before children 🤣)

Great that you’re going to follow up with your GP and hopefully next time you won’t get to your limit, because you’ll have a supportive framework and you’ll be able to spot it coming down the tracks.

Good luck!

Just read this thread and am glad to see this update. Well done @HopefulBeckie for speaking to your DH and and to be booking a GP appointment. It sounds like your DH is very supportive and is helping in any way he can and hopefully the GP will be able to help even more so and get you into a healthier sleeping pattern. Good luck with everything (:

You're not being g supported enough, that's the issue I'm seeing here.

I’d be annoyed as he should not be opening your mail - chances are the sleeping tablets were herbal (?) so a few now and then would do no harm, I also use them and they’re not addictive.

The problem with sleeping tablets is not that they are addictive it's that you become dependent on them to get to sleep because your body physically needs them to sleep. There is a difference between addiction and dependency

Not to mention the fact the OP has abused sleeping tablets in the past so yes there is actually a large potential for harm just taking a few now and then without first speaking with a medical professional.