To be too uneducated for Mumsnet

[est1999]

When I'm on Mumsnet I feel so uneducated.

MN seems to be known for being a bit middle class or maybe that is now a dated assumption

I've made a few threads in the past under a different username and some of the words other Mumsnetters have used I admit I've had to Google the meaning of!

Everyone seems to have a degree or their children are in the process of getting one (if they're old enough)

Most women on here also seem to be very high earners. 50k+

And private schools are a norm for sure.

Maybe that's just my Mumsnet algorithm so to speak lol.

I used to earn between 26-28k per year in a basic admin job. No degree. No A-levels. Now I earn even less after having DC and going part time.

Anyone else feel the same as me at times?

@ARareKindaBear

I never said they were lying, I said they were “claiming”. I say that because on here you should take everything with a pinch of salt. Including the people saying they live on £3 a week and that is to cover their rent and food etc

But that is exactly what you're saying. If you say they are "claiming" and then go on to say that should be taken with a pinch of salt you are effectively saying they are lying. What else should be inferred from that?

I don't mean to sound like I'm having a go and it may sound like a small point, but it worries me that people are so dismissive of the idea that women can be high earners. There are an increasing number of women on high salaries and women supporting their families. That's a good thing and it doesn't help support progress if people always imply that this is all fantasy.

Dunno really if being educated to third level is the same as being very intelligent. Although I wouldn't claim to be either tbh. Left school at 16. Never made loads of money or owned property.

But I don't feel intimidated by people who have those things. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles loved reading for its own sake. Autodidacts I suppose. But of course there are big gaps and I feel my reading is wide but shallow ? I'm surely not alone.

There again my children went to uni and one of them said to me ' a liberal Arts degree isn't worth a wank these days - I'll have to get a Masters!' And so he did. But it didn't help much employment wise alas.

There are ways to be in continuous gainful employment. Trouble is - not everyone is cut out to be a plumber. Or work in financial services.

With all due respect, you don’t know what I earn. I’m well aware of the fact that women can be high earners, of course they can.

What I am saying is that there is a lot of made up shit on here and others shouldn’t feel bad because they don’t live up to these ideals.

Remember the poster who posted a photo of her bedroom to show off and another poster found the same image on google and it turned out to be a luxury hotel somewhere?

Or the poster who made out she was so incredibly rich that her boyfriend visits her by helicopter and scares her horses when he lands it in her fields?

Its an internet forum, take everything with a pinch of salt.

This thread is a good example. The OP is saying she doesn't feel like she fits in and can anyone relate. To me, that's aimed primarily at people who can relate. Yet by page 2 we have the 6 figure earners taking the opportunity to tell her all about it.
If you saw a thread saying "I find it hard to get clothes I like because im a size 20, anyone in the same boat?" Would you feel the need to pop on to say "Actually no OP, I'm a tiny size 8 and the shops are full of clothes that look fabulous on me"?

To be fair, I could see that happening on here 😂

I disagree with people saying that a lot of the MN "middleclasses" is made up. I think that these posters are probably telling the truth about who they are, for the most part. Perhaps people like about their salaries, but having a degree is not unusual in many circles, especially for women in their early 30s and younger who left school as university was being pushed as the main post-secondary option. If it's any consolation I am very well educated in the sense that I have lots of qualifications, but I don't earn anything like that salary in your OP!

But also who cares? There will be loads of things that you can do and that you know about that these other women can't. Read the threads that you enjoy and that are interesting to you, ignore the ones that make you feel bad.

@5128gap I see what you mean, but I still don't think I would call it shoehorning, the OP has started a thread about salary and education so it's not unusual for people to talk about their salary and education even if the responses themselves are unintentionally ironic. To me a random shoehorning of salary would be, using your example about size 20 clothes, a poster coming in and saying "oh yes all clothes look good on me as I earn £100,000 so can buy the best"

Yes my kids are still only young adults , as are the kids of my other older mum friends. So yes it probably does depend on life stage more.

Yes! Posters seem to be from one extreme or the other - but most people I know are somewhere in the middle .

But also who cares? There will be loads of things that you can do and that you know about that these other women can't.

This is another very good point.

I'm one of the lucky ones with regard to career/salary but I'm devoid of a single cell of imagination, artistic ability or creativity in my body.

I'm truly in awe of some of the things I see posted in the Home & Garden and Style & Beauty sub-forums - I can't put an outfit together for the life of me, regardless of budget, and I always need help with home decor ideas as my mind is just blank when I try to think of styling a room. I also know zero about literature and art.

I'd love to be anything like as cultured, creative and stylish as many people on MN.

Most of the "high earner" comments are absolute claptrap. High getting paid-ers maybe at a pinch, but nobody "earns" that much (as in the sense of deserving that sort of money for their labour).

Yes - agree with all of this .

I don't think this is a good basis for judging education or ability.

I'm well educated and do a lot of formal writing for work - I'm considered to be very good at it.

My Mumsnet posts are often littered with clunky language, typos, and other errors. Not because I can't spell or construct a sentence, but because I have a young child and am often posting quickly between other things.

I'm a single parent on a low income and never been to university and don't feel especially out of place most of the time, I've been here for years. I was once accused of lying about my salary and the fact we lived off it by someone who obviously just doesn't understand that a vast number if us do actually do this though 😅

That chip might earn you quite a bit.

FWIW I am over paid (financial services), but my friend who is a consultant neurologist works like a dog, is very very smart, and earns every penny of her 100k+ salary.

I earn enough thanks.

I'm looking here at the fibbers.

A lot of high earners are paid based on the value of what they bring in to their company (eg sales revenue, hours billed to clients).

which fibbers? Not sure I get it. Why do you think people are lying?

The age on MN is towards the top half of the working population, makes sense this impacts on reported earnings.

For some reason, this is reminding me of that other MN phenomenon where posters are the wealthiest people they know, hugely wealthy in fact, but nobody else knows it because their jobs seem ordinary, they wear shit clothes, they drive shit cars, they live in small houses, they holiday in UK campsites and there's absolutely no outward sign of how rich they are. Nobody knows.

Yet they somehow know that nobody else in their circle is also secretly minted, and they're definitely the only wealthy ones.

Lol. And if its not them, it's their friend! Titled multi millionaire (old money) but the most down to earth woman you'd ever meet! Dog hair on the back seat, clothes from a skip, uses an antique table for finger painting and an old master as a dart board.
That woman gets round a lot.

The average uk salary for people in their 40 and 50 is still well below 50k

To be in the top 10% of those aged 40 to 50 ( biggest income) you only earn need to earn 73k

And women tend to earn less

I think what happens is that on threads about salary if you get 3 pages of people saying they earn 80k + then people earning minimum wage are less likely to comment, so it skews the figures and the "average" across that thread.

Also those earning lower wages are likely not to have access to a phone to contribute to the discussion during their working hours. (Retail workers, cleaners, factory workers, hospitality, carers, teachers, nursery workers etc probably aren't allowed to have phones whilst working)

More than one person on another thread was incredulous that there were people working in London who earned less than 30k.....🙄

More than one person on another thread was incredulous that there were people working in London who earned less than 30k.....

They should be incredulous, though, because it's simply not a living wage there and it's disgraceful that so many people have to make it one.

You may be right fizzboss

Sort of what the OP refers to when she doesn't feel that she quite belongs

5128gap - there are people with 'old money' though who might live in the middle of nowhere with loads of dogs and clutter and who don't care about what clothes they wear, etc. Why wouldn't there be? There are all types of people in this world!