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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be too uneducated for Mumsnet

284 replies

est1999 · 02/07/2023 16:18

When I'm on Mumsnet I feel so uneducated.

MN seems to be known for being a bit middle class or maybe that is now a dated assumption

I've made a few threads in the past under a different username and some of the words other Mumsnetters have used I admit I've had to Google the meaning of!

Everyone seems to have a degree or their children are in the process of getting one (if they're old enough)

Most women on here also seem to be very high earners. 50k+

And private schools are a norm for sure.

Maybe that's just my Mumsnet algorithm so to speak lol.

I used to earn between 26-28k per year in a basic admin job. No degree. No A-levels. Now I earn even less after having DC and going part time.

Anyone else feel the same as me at times?

OP posts:
AgnesX · 02/07/2023 16:51

There are all sorts of people with all sorts of salaries (or lack of) in all sorts of situations, good and bad.

Really don't worry about your education. If anything just try and be well informed but you don't even need to be that.

Original poster
est1999 · 02/07/2023 16:51

ThatFraggle · 02/07/2023 16:38

So this is a mirror of YOUR worries and concerns. Do you want to get qualifications, increase your earnings etc.

Just like when you're TTC and it seems like pregnant women are everywhere. They're not. But because it's on your mind, you see it everywhere.

@ThatFraggle good point

OP posts:
Talia99 · 02/07/2023 16:53

Giltedged · 02/07/2023 16:20

I think there are a lot of posh wannabes on here!

Absolutely. I could claim to be Kate taking an afternoon off from Princessing (I am not in fact the Princess of Wales) and you’d know I was delusional / lying but if I claimed to be an executive on £150,000 a year with a DH on 3 times that and two children in private schools (not a word of that is accurate either), you would have no way of knowing I was lying.

Add in people obscuring details for privacy reasons (e.g. DS age 3 is actually DD age 2) and I think most people’s personal details have to be taken with a grain of salt.

fudgepie12 · 02/07/2023 16:54

I never know why people assume it's mostly bullshit, sure there's a lot of BS on MN, but equally there are thousands and thousands of women with degrees and earning over £50k, not exactly a rare breed. I suspect you pick up on it more if it's something you feel insecure about, there's certainly things I will pick up on and feel insecure about as projections from my own life.

It's easy to take what you have for granted, there'll be things you have/do that you might not give much thought to, post about, but adds to another poster's perception of what they don't have.

Original poster
est1999 · 02/07/2023 16:54

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 02/07/2023 16:29

I think it’s dumbed down compared to years ago.
I would have agreed that the majority were as you described pre penis beaker. Now I find that it’s a wide mix of people from different backgrounds.

@Arewehumanorarewecupboards

the majority were as you described pre penis beaker.

Penis beaker?? Was that a typo 😆😂

OP posts:
ADHDDDDDDDBOOM · 02/07/2023 16:56

I match most of what you said, sans the private school.

But I was once a single mother without a GCSE to my name and looking for a council
flat.

So I guess everyone has their story!

WhiskersPete · 02/07/2023 16:56

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/07/2023 16:26

Take it with a pinch if salt, most of it is bullshit.

This! Also apply this, as you see fit, to most areas of life.

Theomummy2 · 02/07/2023 16:57

The majority on here are definitely not on 50k plus

There was a thread a few months ago and the majority were in the lowest 10% of earners

MN had changed a lot in the last 10 years. It’s definitely not MC anymore

ADHDDDDDDDBOOM · 02/07/2023 16:57

est1999 · 02/07/2023 16:54

@Arewehumanorarewecupboards

the majority were as you described pre penis beaker.

Penis beaker?? Was that a typo 😆😂

Show quote history

No, Penis Beaker dragged in all and sundry via the media coverage of the story.

The PP is suggesting they hung around and lowered the tone.

I was in newborn land during that time so it passed me by.

Aprilsh0wers · 02/07/2023 16:57

I know what you mean, I am surprised by the amount of high earners. I tend not to click on the threads about salaries or disposable income after bills because they make me miserable.

I’m on Mat leave and we do need to watch every penny at the moment - sometimes it can feel like we’ve done something wrong by not landing such high earning jobs before having children but we are happy and have a loving home so I am very grateful for that.

I will say, however, that it’s equally inspiring to hear of so many working mums earning big money!

wutheringkites · 02/07/2023 16:57

@fudgepie12

Yeah, I agree. I fit this profile (apart from kids going to private school) and so do most of the women I'm friends with.

But just because someone has a degree doesn't mean they are intelligent or that their views are worth more than anyone else's.

Hibiscrubbed · 02/07/2023 17:02

Lots of people on here are full of shit, but there is also a clear portion of highly educated and occasionally high earners. It would be daft assume everyone was lying.

Yabbadabbadotime · 02/07/2023 17:04

26-28k is actually a good wage. Mumsnet seem to have abnormally high wages (not sure how much is true). The average graduate wage is about 22k. So not having a degree is not as big an issue as you think.

20k is minimum wage. The average starting wage for a graduate is 24.2k.

Anyone who is a full time registered nurse, teacher, doctor, chartered accountant, biomedical scientist, civil servant,lawyer, physiotherapist, engineer, train driver, architect, will earn quite a bit more.

I don't count a couple of grand above the minimum as a "good" wage, unless you are young and starting out.

johnd2 · 02/07/2023 17:09

ZIEVAR · 02/07/2023 16:44

I think you worry too much. Read threads you enjoy, answer when you feel like it. Ignore anyone who states what they earn, where they live etc. What actual difference does any of that make in the scheme of things. Well done for looking up words, I do that too, education is life-long

This^
post we all need to print and stick on your monitor!
Thank you @ZIEVAR

Katesdeadbehindtheeyes · 02/07/2023 17:14

Been on here for years and yeah there is loads of middle class bollocks. I'm a dyslexic cockney so probably shouldn't be on here but there are some who genuinely give great advice. You just need to deceiver it among all the fake nonsense.
Though saying that 20 odd years on here and still it makes me laugh i stay for the madness

LaMaG · 02/07/2023 17:15

ThatFraggle · 02/07/2023 16:38

So this is a mirror of YOUR worries and concerns. Do you want to get qualifications, increase your earnings etc.

Just like when you're TTC and it seems like pregnant women are everywhere. They're not. But because it's on your mind, you see it everywhere.

Agree! I'm quite new here and it does seem mixed but definitely very articulate. I must confess to be cynical about the high earners, in my experience these are people who work their asses off and I cant see someone with that level of responsibility having to time read lengthy posts and post replies.

WunWun · 02/07/2023 17:15

I think you're reading the wrong threads. I don't get this feeling at all and I'm extremely self critical in the education and income stakes.

Theomummy2 · 02/07/2023 17:18

LaMaG · 02/07/2023 17:15

Agree! I'm quite new here and it does seem mixed but definitely very articulate. I must confess to be cynical about the high earners, in my experience these are people who work their asses off and I cant see someone with that level of responsibility having to time read lengthy posts and post replies.

Show quote history

That’s because your view on what a high earner does is outdated

I earn 6 figures when not on maternity leave and barely put in 15 hours work a week. Many jobs especially in the tech and marketing sector don’t require a lot of effort

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/07/2023 17:19

est1999 · 02/07/2023 16:18

When I'm on Mumsnet I feel so uneducated.

MN seems to be known for being a bit middle class or maybe that is now a dated assumption

I've made a few threads in the past under a different username and some of the words other Mumsnetters have used I admit I've had to Google the meaning of!

Everyone seems to have a degree or their children are in the process of getting one (if they're old enough)

Most women on here also seem to be very high earners. 50k+

And private schools are a norm for sure.

Maybe that's just my Mumsnet algorithm so to speak lol.

I used to earn between 26-28k per year in a basic admin job. No degree. No A-levels. Now I earn even less after having DC and going part time.

Anyone else feel the same as me at times?

Just remember that not having an opportunity for further education/university doesn't mean you're thick - it just means that you didn't have the chances others did. (But you are right in that you aren't formally educated to the same level of some others)

I know a lot about my own subject, but it's a narrow field, and I've learned loads about other subjects from people sharing their expertise on here. (The Titan threads have been fascinating!)

I think one difficulty is that some people post a question and someone else responds with "What a stupid thing to ask!" and that just destroys their confidence and makes others reluctant to ask anything, too. If someone has a genuine interest then I'd always answer any question that I could even if it's already been answered - it's easy to miss stuff if a thread is fast-moving.

I'd hate to think that anyone thought badly of themselves because of their education - there are a lot of people who didn't;t get the chances others did, but who have a wide general knowledge, and some very practical "life" knowledge, too,

TonTonMacoute · 02/07/2023 17:19

And private schools are a norm for sure.

I would be amazed if this was the case, but there are some posters who want to discuss them.

I would just focus on the posts and subjects that interest you and forget everything else.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2023 17:21

I have two degrees and I still have to Google stuff. Everyone has the same amount of experience to contribute. It's actually better if you're not the same as everyone else because otherwise all the threads would just be:

OP
Same
Agreed
+1
Same

Over and over!

RudsyFarmer · 02/07/2023 17:21

I like listening to radio programs above my education level and areas of mumsnet do have some great discussions. So no I don’t feel inferior and yes I enjoy listening/reading educated women debating topics instead of ‘huns’ and ‘baba’ speak that I encountered in forums elsewhere.

Iamblossom · 02/07/2023 17:22

user6482957 · 02/07/2023 16:24

THIS!

So many people pretending to be someone they're not on the internet.

I see right through a lot of the bullshit.

Show quote history

I am more honest about myself on mumsnet than in any other part of my life. I feel free to be so as it is anonymous.

LaMaG · 02/07/2023 17:24

Theomummy2 · 02/07/2023 17:18

That’s because your view on what a high earner does is outdated

I earn 6 figures when not on maternity leave and barely put in 15 hours work a week. Many jobs especially in the tech and marketing sector don’t require a lot of effort

Show quote history

Really? I am out of date!!! Lucky you though

Superdupes · 02/07/2023 17:25

I think MN has always been considered very middle class with a lot of wealthy Londoners whose kids go to private school, get 4 A stars at A level and go to Oxbridge or Durham.

I'm not sure what class you'd have to be in to own a bedside beaker for washing your penis in after sex though, maybe it's not a class thing - but obviously you get all sorts on here.