To be too uneducated for Mumsnet

[est1999]

When I'm on Mumsnet I feel so uneducated.

MN seems to be known for being a bit middle class or maybe that is now a dated assumption

I've made a few threads in the past under a different username and some of the words other Mumsnetters have used I admit I've had to Google the meaning of!

Everyone seems to have a degree or their children are in the process of getting one (if they're old enough)

Most women on here also seem to be very high earners. 50k+

And private schools are a norm for sure.

Maybe that's just my Mumsnet algorithm so to speak lol.

I used to earn between 26-28k per year in a basic admin job. No degree. No A-levels. Now I earn even less after having DC and going part time.

Anyone else feel the same as me at times?

Completely agree with this.

I think we also live in a time where standard of living is going backwards. So people have an image of what their life should look like based on their own upbringing but their actual life is far more modest. This is behind a lot of the fantasy stuff you see on here - the ‘wannabe poshos’ as PP put it.

Like the thread where a poster was asking on ways to cut the grocery bill because of increased loan payments but “DH is a very high earner in the City”. Right.

Good grief, you dont believe everyone on here surely? as PP have said, take everything you read with a massive pinch of salt. There was a thread recently about whether you've met MN people in real life and many said they have and their lifestyles were absolutely not what they made them out to be on here, to the point it was almost delusional. So yeah- salt!

I’ve been on MN under different names, since my ds was born almost 18 years ago.
I hated school, did not do well in my exams (even managed a spectacular ungraded for maths 😳), went on to work in NHS admin jobs, then a SAHM for years and since then have done various uneventful and average jobs. I would have loved a degree but have the concentration span of a gnat so at 50 that ship has sailed for me. I feel the bragging on MN has become worse over the years, it was never like that in the early days, like others say I just take it with a pinch of salt. Even if they are high earners, fab careers and with kids in private school etc doesn’t mean they are better or happier than me. My sister is as equally uneducated as me (parents so proud!), she cleans for very rich people and says virtually all of them have a packet of antidepressants on their bedside table and are workaholics.

The average ft salary is 41k , and I think 100k is either top 5 or top 7% so nowhere near as common in RL as MN

That's impossible to say though, there will be thousands of MN users (most of whom do not disclose their salary), I know it can "feel" like there is a lot of £100k earners but I'm sure if you were to actually count them up it wouldn't feel so vastly disproportionate as people make out.

I feel the bragging on MN has become worse over the years

As has the trolling...

I am more honest about myself on mumsnet than in any other part of my life. I feel free to be so as it is anonymous.

Yes!

high five!

Absolutely agree with this. I’ve learnt a lot from Mumbet, and the fact that there are highly educated people on here willing to share their knowledge is a bonus. There are also lots of people who aren’t highly educated, but have incredible humour and life skills - love reading their posts too. And, of course, there are the plonkers - try not to let them get to you.

OP, neither DH nor I went to uni, but we are hoping our daughter is going to - and I’ve had some amazing insights and advice from posters on Mumsnet. I view Mumsnet as a support group, and a way to learn. Sometimes we learn that people see the world very differently to us - but that’s okay. It doesn’t make you (or them) worse or better.

Treat everything you read on here with a healthy dose of scepticism.
Especially anything that I post.
😉😁😁😁

@orangeyeahthatsright you come across as someone who has a problem with London and the South for some reason. I’m from a northern working class background and have lived in the South for over 20 years and have always felt very welcome. I really don’t see people on here describing the South as better.

Right back at you! 🤣

I have sometimes, if I'm honest, wondered if there were any people from my peer group on here..
I worked for the Civil Service with crap pay after we sold our very modest business then for agencies doing admin work. To be fair earned more on the agencies than anywhere else but it was still pretty modest. My kids didn't go to Uni but have all done okay for themselves. I only know a few people who have. There was a post the other week asking what people did for a living and how much they earn.. it's a different world absolutely.

My sister is as equally uneducated as me (parents so proud!), she cleans for very rich people and says virtually all of them have a packet of antidepressants on their bedside table and are workaholics

I have a cousin who did temporary housekeeping work in London many years ago and one time she was working for an aristocrat who gave her frankly putrid food to prepare for her dinner guests.

Op, people respond to things they know about- of course they come across as educated. Or experienced. They’d not really reply to stuff they know nowt about 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is such a good point. One of the stupidest posts I ever saw on MN was on a thread titled "can you suggest a mathematician for my DS's school project?"

Twenty five MNers - mostly mathematicians at a guess - jumped on a gave interesting and well-informed suggestions explaining their preferred choice. I probably suggested Evariste Galois: brilliant mathematician, terrible duellist.

A non-mathematician MNer randomly came on and said we were all show-offs who probably didn't actually know this stuff but had just googled it to look clever. It didn't seem to have occurred to her that literally thousands of MNers would have looked at that title, shrugged and moved on, leaving only the tiny number whose instant reaction was "Excellent! a chance to share my love for Mary Somerville/Blaise Pascal with the world!" to drop in and nominate their fave.

The exception is law, where for some reason every bugger is happy to drop in and confidently state stuff they dimly recall from watching LA Law as fact.

I grew up on a London Council estate. Worked since 14yrs old. Became a single parent at 19 and I’ve lived in social housing as an adult. Went to Uni when oldest was 4yrs old. I work PT in the Public Sector earning over the FT average salary (I never post salary figures. Friends and family don’t know how much we earn). Now living a lot better in London with a high earning DP, more DC, bigger and nicer home, multiple properties and more options. DP also grew up in social housing. We were considering sending middle DC to independent school last year but luckily decided against it for a multitude of reasons including economic outlook and diversity/socialisation. We may have to sell our home if interest rates continue to rise.

Only my friends and family IRL would believe me.

@DilysPrice agree re law. I'm a solicitor and respond now and then if it's my subject area. I don't respond in areas of the law I don't practice. The responses some people give are shockingly wrong. Half the time a quick Google would show they're wrong. The difficulty is it can be hard for the OP to tell who's who.

Oh, and my eldest went to Uni and is now earning nearly more than me. I had DD at 20. All three DC have had tutors alongside a State education. Aspirations.

@BelieveThemtheFirstTime I like your story. Good on you x

Why is it so hard to believe? Me and DH are both state educated, mid-thirties, one DC and another on the way, our joint income is £100k with me working part time and we will be mortgage free on our current house in 5 years. Not that uncommon.

Sounds like bs to me

You don’t know anyone who hasn’t got a levels? There are plenty of successful people out there that left school with little no GCSEs.

I'm going to boast a little bit here!

I have no gcses to my name.
Grew up in a house of actual hell.
I've only ever worked minimum wage jobs.
I have dylexia/dyscalulas/dyspraxia.
Kicked out of school at 14.
Was told I'd amount to nothing. Repeatedly.
Pregnant at 19 to a man twice my age who was pretty abusive.

Ditched the abusive man.
Worked my arse off every day doing back breaking shifts in nursing homes.
Did cash in hand cleaning/bar work during the days my DC was with his dad.
Got a 100% mortgage with my "shit job" at 20, the market crashed... then went wild!
I was able to sell, get a massive profit.
I'm now on track to be mortgage free with a 5 bedroomed house by 40 years old.
(That's my brag, the other stuff was leading to that, none of that was really anything to show off about!)

I have never once when talking to MN felt those more educated are more worthy of an opinion than mine and my other username I'm often quoted or tagged and more often than not given kind words or thanked for something I've said.
My inbox is full of lovely messages from all kinds of women who's education/success out weighs mine by miles.
They've shared advice with me and I them, usually about their special needs children or abusive partners or elderly parents. I may not have ever earned massively, but I'm a person worthy as anyone else is to get involved with chatting to people and to give perspective and advice, as well as seek it.

Being uneducated isn't a reason to not value yourself.
There are women everywhere with tremendous skill, talent and meaning to this world who haven't been taught to read or write. They matter, I'm sure you'll agree. If you devalue yourself because of a lack of education, you devalue others also, which I'm sure you'd never want to do.
Be nicer to yourself, you'd never judge anyone as harshly as you do yourself. 💐

I agree with you completely.

I used to work in law before children and before that I worked in a hospital (I've had a very colourful career) and now I'm in education. I would say my general knowledge in certain areas is really good.

It makes me cringe when people try to give advice. It's always in certain areas that people believe they're experts, maybe because they did something once, like dealt with a family member's probate or conveyancing. Medical stuff is the worst - people advising on GF diets to posters without a detailed history or advising against A&E with only half the story.

Whenever I give advice it's always with the caveat that the poster needs a professional opinion, with knowledge of all the circumstances.

I think it's just a mix of people, I see posts from people in all sorts of different situations. I must say I see the posts about buying second homes/holiday homes/ going mortgage free etc and feel a bit inadequate. But I am one of the people with a degree and a salary over 50k. Believe me, that doesn't mean I have more disposable income as I have a massive mortgage, nursery fees etc.

Should clarify - I am sure I have more disposable income than some but not enough for a car, a second home, a caravan or even a holiday every year!