Knock at the door at 9pm

[visitorspoppingin]

My DH knows someone who has recently moved to the area. It's an older relative. I have never met this person. Last night, at 9pm there was a knock at the door, and there she was. She said she thought she would pop by. I was in my pyjamas, and had had quite a few glasses of wine, and probably looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. Is it me, or is this a totally batshit thing to do, without making an arrangement? She has a partner & family, so it's not a case of loneliness. I don't like surprise visitors at the best of times, but 9pm at night seems insane.

I was meaning Scotland.

Better not meet my huge family anyone can pop anywhere at anytime lol

9pm wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Our estate was still alive at that time with kids out playing. I'm in my pjs from about 7 when I know I'm not going back out, and it doesn't bother any visitors I get either.

Someone rang my bell at 10pm to ask me about my cat (I don’t have a cat) anyway my dog started barking and woke the baby. Luckily for her I’m too polite to punch her in the face.

i think anything pass dinner time is a no no and you need to message so for me past 5pm, you Call or message

This is what I noticed most when I came to London..no one just popped in. You had to plan and invite and organise. I so missed the easy..I was passing.
My grandmother’s house was always on the latch, I would ring the bell and walk in, the rest of the family would just walk in.

Totally! In post soviet countries it’s a norm! 😄I have a neighbour, we’re both from Eastern Europe and we turn up at each other’s doorstep unannounced, it’s totally cool! Moreover, I’d invite her for a cuppa even if I was in my pj’s! And vice versa 😉
but i wouldn’t dare doing it to my English neighbours, I know they’d think I’m odd and never speak to me again! (and probably post about it on mumsnet, too! 😆
PS. Oh and also my Italian neighbour is supercool about it, too!

9pm ? Does the horror never end ?

Londoner born and bred now living in Essex commuter belt and yes if anyone knocked and we weren’t expecting someone, it would look like a comedy sketch either open mouths, dropped jaws and wide eyed wondering what on earth was happening.

Maybe it’s a regional thing or just my F&F but not only is every social visit planned to a fine art but we still text to say when we leave with an ETA. I live on a walkway and I have friends who phone as they pull up at the garage block so I know they’ll be here in 30 seconds time

I’ll barely take a phone call after 9pm. I highly doubt I would have opened the door.

I think 9pm is too late to visit unannounced unless there’s been an argument or some sort of crisis.

I also think telephone calls after 8pm is wrong unless it’s an emergency.

I also think business calls on the weekend is unnecessary too. Had a guts full of one particular person continually calling DH’s mobile for something that could have waited for the new week and that the caller didn’t have to involve himself in to start with.

Bashit for sure!
When I was a kid you didn't phone anyone after 9 either. I still stick to that rule

I think referring to it as batshit and insane is rather OTT. I'd say it's more odd to just turn up at someone's house uninvited when you don't know them well or have never been there before. 9pm is latish but presumably she just popped in for a quick cuppa so I would say it's that excentric/odd.

I wouldn't like it though. I don't like unexpected visitors....ever.

Yup you sound like you live near me.. 9pm Summertime is probably just on the boundary of acceptability for me OP

Nothing odd about it. Inconsiderate would be a better description.

Sh it reminds me of the days before mobile phones when people were more spontaneous and didn’t always ring the landline before popping round.

If I ever get a knock at the door it’s usually a take away driver at the wrong house. They often deliver to me by mistake. If I didn’t answer the person who ordered winks never get their food - especially when during Covid they ring the bell then leave without you opening the door first.

In PJs often around 6pm so it wouldn't be great for me having visitors at 9pm unannounced.

Yes, we're rural Ireland and people call in who we hardly know, or know the children or a relative from the other side of the Country. But it is daylight that is the cut off. Whatever time of year. In dark only pre arranged. I think it is because there is mostly someone or some animals outside when it's light and curtains etc are open. Closed curtains you def would not knock unless an emergency.

I remember one of our early dates between my DH and I, we were at his flat, 10pm on a Friday night. His parents rock up unannounced, don’t take the hint he has a date. It was a small flat and they sat down with us in the living room and his Mum starts talking about needing her hair doing. They didn’t live close at the time either, a good 25 mile round trip. Said they were dropping off some washing. At 10pm on a Friday night? Should have known they were going to turn out to be crackpots then! 🤣

I hate people dropping by unannounced, I have social anxiety and find conversations hard work. I end up over talking then don’t know the polite way to finish off the conversation. Plus I have medical issues and need to be in comfortable clothing, sometimes that means ’loungewear’ as soon as I get home, could be 5pm.
I was once dying my hair mid afternoon on a day off and just had a towel round my shoulders to avoid ruining clothes. It was a week or so before Christmas and there was a knock at the door, glanced out the window and no delivery van so left it. Unbeknownst to me my FIL had pulled on our drive out of sight and after no answer to the door knocking, he used his spare key (given for emergencies!) to let himself in. I was in a total flap, hair dye going everywhere, about to ruin clothes to save my modesty. Get downstairs and he’s in the kitchen dropping off Christmas presents. On his own, Monday afternoon when my DH was at work and child at nursery. Why not ring in advance and arrange a time for us all to meet to swap presents/have a drink/meal. Don’t just turn up and let yourself in my house 😏 it’s rude and unnecessary

I understand loads of people would hate it, but I have some friends who would pop in and that I would pop in and see. We don't go to bed until 1am-2am most weeknights

I'm surprised anyone wants to visit most of you 😂

It's terribly rude to drop in. The only ones who can get away with it are my sister and my bestie, and then only if I'm home alone. I was raised that you don't drop in and you don't call someone after 8:30 pm unless it's by arrangement.

It drives me crazy when people do this. I live 100 meters from my best friend, who I have know 34 years. Neither of us would never do this unless it's a emergency. We always ring and discuss a good time to call in. The only time she called to my house unannounced,is when my partner found my dad dead and rang her to let me know for didn't want me to find out by phone. My first words were this can't be good if you haven't call first when she showed up at my door.

I would also have been in my pyjamas and unimpressed. 9pm is ridiculous.