Knock at the door at 9pm

[visitorspoppingin]

My DH knows someone who has recently moved to the area. It's an older relative. I have never met this person. Last night, at 9pm there was a knock at the door, and there she was. She said she thought she would pop by. I was in my pyjamas, and had had quite a few glasses of wine, and probably looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. Is it me, or is this a totally batshit thing to do, without making an arrangement? She has a partner & family, so it's not a case of loneliness. I don't like surprise visitors at the best of times, but 9pm at night seems insane.

What time did she leave?

I have honestly never in my 63 years met or heard of anyone not answering a knock at the door. Except on MN. It's would be assumed that someone who did that would be suffering from some sort of MH issue.

Oh do fuck off 😂

Maybe she is fond of you her DIL and wants to visit you? She probably could call or text first though!

Well I remember in my student days the night had barely begun at 9! Of course if you didn’t want callers, the excuse was usually that you had an essay deadline in the morning, otherwise you would go round to someone’s room about 11 or 12 and sit there drinking coffee until the wee small hours.
However, in the real world, even when my DM was alive and living a few minutes walk from me, the general agreement was we did not turn up unannounced at all or phone between about 9pm and 7am unless there was a dire emergency (locked out, needed medical help etc.). If we would respect that between us, I would certainly expect anyone else to!

If they don't answer, they aren't available.

That reminds me of the time, in the Olden Days, when someone had called me and the phone hadn't been answered who complained that 'It rang and rang and rang'. What does this tell you, caller?

Would she turn up at her place of work for a chat, just because she's fond of the OP? Why would MIL think the OP is available for a chat in the middle of a work day?

I love surprise visitors. It feels old fashioned and wholesome and when things are prearranged it can often (unfairly) feel like an inconvenience. Whereas when people just turn up we always enjoy the impromptu catch up.

You know you’re on MN, right?

I would hate this at any time of the day

9pm is not late, especially on a weekend night, 11pm would be late

no woudnt do this to anyone unless an emergency-and noone does it to me

I don't think 9 p.m. is too late to call round, although we would probably be eating dinner at that time, but I'm not particularly keen on people coming round unannounced.

I would consider it rude too.

9pm is late as many people go to bed early. I always check first but I don’t mind unannounced visitors during the day.

Gosh..there’s a lot of people who seem to have their pjs on/be showering/in bed/“settled” in front of the tv at 9pm every Saturday! I have 4 young dc inc a baby and even I’m not so old folk as all that! 9pm is still a big part of the day - we have people over, or we’re playing a board game with the kids, or we’re having drinks outside and the kids are playing, or even just doing regular chores - laundry, walking the dog, admin etc. I’d love a surprise visitor! Sounds fun!

The only was this post can be interpreted is completely ironically. And as such, LOL me too!!!!

*way

I can’t believe there’s so many people in bed or in pyjamas at 9pm on a Saturday night, how boring!

How is that "boring?"

Only on MN.

Im usually out on a Saturday night so anyone turning up expensing to find me home would be wasting their time.

However if I’m having a quiet night in, I’ll be in my pyjamas at 5pm let alone 9 🤣

Depends how much I like the person (more importantly they have nice booze.)

😂😂 I totally did realise how that sounded as soon as I posted!
I guess what I meant was that for me (and tbf most I know) at 9pm on a Saturday we are still dressed, up, being sociable or at least doing something, and open to receive visitors for a chat or a drink if they are up for it..!

Who says the pyjamas stay buttoned?

Why is it sad? Do you to ink nobody ever sees friends or families in 2023?

Of course they do, they just call beforehand. If you are welcome to come at any time, you will know that. If you're not, it saves you the embarrassment of turning up uninvited

I’m still in my pyjamas now. Not my turn to walk the dogs and it’s damp and dreary outside. But I have a neighbour who sometimes turns up at unexpected unarranged times and just stays here for hours. It’s when her horrible husband is being extra horrible, so I put up with it. But if I ever call round to hers - she lives on a footpath I walk along sometimes - she keeps me on the doorstep, and has never made me a cup of tea or coffee in the 24 years I’ve known her.

If somebody called on me at 9pm on a Saturday , i would also be a half cut in my PJs

🤪