Knock at the door at 9pm

[visitorspoppingin]

My DH knows someone who has recently moved to the area. It's an older relative. I have never met this person. Last night, at 9pm there was a knock at the door, and there she was. She said she thought she would pop by. I was in my pyjamas, and had had quite a few glasses of wine, and probably looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. Is it me, or is this a totally batshit thing to do, without making an arrangement? She has a partner & family, so it's not a case of loneliness. I don't like surprise visitors at the best of times, but 9pm at night seems insane.

Ooh get you, you wild thing 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

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I’m not saying that is right, I was more commenting on the fact that she said without seeing if her DH was home, like her MIL would only come round to visit her son, and not just her DIL

‘Insane’ is a rather extreme reaction to it.

Dont we just have to appreciate that there’s no right or wrong with lots of things and people do things differently.

One person might not do impromptu visits or go out after 8pm, but lots of others do.

A little bit of flexibility or at least appreciation that others do things differently and that doesn’t make them insane, or crazy or rude makes life smoother and less tiresome. You can always choose not to answer the door, or you could tell this person, that you’d rather they let you know in advance before they come round…..they aren’t a mind reader.

Fine that it’s not your preference, but get a bit of perspective and know this isn’t a bad thing they did…just not what you’d do or prefer. Life is full of things like that. Shrug and move on.

I am usually tending to my cauldron that time of an evening. Isn’t it the Netherlands or somewhere that it’s actually illegal to knock on someone’s front door after 8pm?

I think this kind of thing is regional in the UK. There are parts where you wouldn't think anything of a family member turning up. Only in the South of England do you get a cuppa and no biscuits 😂 if you're lucky!

So much depends on where you're from and/or life stage. I've never had a surprise visit in 12 years of living in London. Every social interaction is scheduled to fuck. When I visit my mum in Ireland (in a suburb - we're not country) the doorbell goes non-stop with mates, acquaintances and people she barely knows calling in for an impromptu chat. I like both situations. Aside from this, all the saturday night pyjamas drinking is making me smile:)

Our door bell doesn't work for a reason.

I'm really glad you took that in the spirit I meant it! I was being a little silly as you can tell. I do love to go out (although not at the moment, busy work time) but if it's me and DH at home, we'd definitely be in jimmies asleep in front of the telly at BEST. Hopefully when work is a bit calmer and my children are older (how are your children not ruining your sleep???), I will also take part in - what can only be described as - very late night socialising.

This is a very good point, there was a campaign on TV some decades ago encouraging older people to put the chain on the door as criminals were scamming them by saying they were investigating something (think it was water supply) and robbing them. So I certainly understand the caution and am one of those that can ignore door knobs, especially when I have heard neighbouring doors being knocked before mine is.

Knocks not knobs, darn autocorrect!

I dunno @Pudmyboy, door knobs sums up some of randoms that can come knocking!

😂

Door unlocked. Think it's a location specific though. My friends and family do the unlocked door, just walk in thing. Not a chance in hell I'd do the same in a city though.

My in-laws have done the 'pop in'....which I bloody loathe.

And once was when I was eating my dinner, so that went cold, cos I couldn't eat it while she was standing in front of me.

I know I'm weird, but what can you do?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

The only way I can make sense of it is like a baby deer drinking from a stream. They're skittish in the extreme, cos they're vulnerable in that position.

Me too! 😂

I left my mother on the front grass once while clearly home and just text her to say she should have rung first. Worked a treat.

I'm not surprised* *😂

'I left my mother on the front grass'? What is she, a nanny goat? Christ, some people.

Really? I get so stressed out during the week that some weekends I just want to chill out. I have to make arrangements with people for socialising as It could be exhausting if they just randomly called round.

By 6pm we’ve locked the door, shut our blinds and and are having sex in our pj‘s. On the sofa

Well I’m up north and I wouldn’t be answering the door to anyone at 9pm at night.

Is everyone here 80 years old? I can't fathom the idea of being in my pyjamas at 9pm, never mind in bed! Although it has allowed all the people who never open the door without written notice to pipe up again...

I would be surprised if someone came round at 9pm, but not upset.

Same. And since when has 9pm been "late".

My husband is up for work at 3 am. He’s usually in bed before 9. No way am I opening the door to an unexpected knock.

Well thankfully my darling Mums neighbour did call round to her unannounced one afternoon and found her dead in her conservatory 😢 I wasn’t due to see her until the following day and it would have been horrific if she had been there for two days.
Luckily because my Mum always made people welcome, her best friend had been there the previous evening and my Mum insisted on sharing her supper with her . Another neighbour had called in to show her their newborn .

9 is a bit late I think, especially as you hadn't met her before
Even my DC text me to say they're on the way, although obviously they'd be welcome anyway
It's just considerate to ask if it's convenient