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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ripped passports during argument, how can I get it replaced?

174 replies

QwertySmalls · 01/07/2023 19:07

I ripped up mine and my kids passports during a major argument. I know I was stupid and foolish but I wanted to permanently do something that I couldn't undo once things went back to normal and gain some kind of power. I dont really know how this did it for me but its done now.

How can I get them replaced?

Online information about damaged passports is for minor damage such as torn pages or water damage.

Do I send them off as damaged and write that I ripped them up? Is that a crime?

OP posts:
ThatFraggle · 01/07/2023 19:09

Just count them as lost and shred the old ones.

Stratocumulus · 01/07/2023 19:09

Ring the passport office for advice.
I doubt it’s a crime!
Dogs chew up passports all the time. They get replaced. No sweat. Passport office are used to this kind of thing I expect.

PurpleFlower1983 · 01/07/2023 19:11

Oh dear! Expensive mistake!

I think you just need to tell them how it happened. They just have to be satisfied that nothing fraudulent is going on.

dementedpixie · 01/07/2023 19:11

Just do a replacement and send the old ones off.
Reporting them lost may mean an adult replacement might need an interview whereas a straight forward replacement wouldn't.

FairAcre · 01/07/2023 19:46

What a stupid thing to do.

ZekeZeke · 01/07/2023 19:47

You really need to control your temper. That's bizarre behaviour.

PrueRamsay · 01/07/2023 19:55

I can’t possibly advise without understanding exactly what happened to make you rip them up 😆

OK, not really, but it does seem like a weird thing to do.

A friend of my DD ripped up her DPs passport so he couldn’t go to Prague on a stag weekend because they were going to strip clubs etc. Obviously extreme behaviour but it probably made sense at the time.

Ripping up your own/DC passports is rather baffling.

ikno · 01/07/2023 19:55

Surely you just have to pay full price for replacements? There’s no discount for rage.

whatkatydid2013 · 01/07/2023 19:55

Call them and explain they’ve been badly damaged during a bit of a temper tantrum and what do you need to do to replace? They’ll likely assume the kids did it and it’s not a lie 🤷🏼‍♀️
Then make sure you don’t do it again because that’s an expensive way to try and make a point (even more so if it means you miss a planned trip)

MargotBamborough · 01/07/2023 19:59

I would just say they are damaged and send them off to be replaced. The person handling them will obviously draw their own conclusions as to what happened.

If you report them as lost they will put a note on their system against those passport numbers. That means that if you actually lose your passport at some point in the future it will be flagged up as you having lost it twice.

If you report your passport lost too many times they get suspicious and you will be subject to additional checks such as attending an interview when you want to get a new one. They may only issue you with a five year passport.

So as embarrassing as it is, don't report them as lost when they are not actually lost.

Sending them back also means you don't have to find a way of destroying them properly so that your personal data can't be stolen.

jolaylasofia · 01/07/2023 20:01

just apply for replacement of damaged passport assuming you still have the ripped up pieces. don't say it's lost, it's a headache.

Hollyppp · 01/07/2023 20:02

I can’t imagine being that angry to do that - I hope this are better for you now with whatever got you so frustrated. That must have felt not great

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/07/2023 20:02

whatkatydid2013 · 01/07/2023 19:55

Call them and explain they’ve been badly damaged during a bit of a temper tantrum and what do you need to do to replace? They’ll likely assume the kids did it and it’s not a lie 🤷🏼‍♀️
Then make sure you don’t do it again because that’s an expensive way to try and make a point (even more so if it means you miss a planned trip)

This is an option. Lying without lying.

"This is a weird one. Mum of two here, unfortunately the passports were ripped up during a temper tantrum. I will be much more careful next time..."

No lies. They will assume the kids.

But actually if it was something you did in front of someone as a point, it's verging on abusive. Find someone to talk to.

notimagain · 01/07/2023 20:03

Don't think you need to ring anybody up and explain, but because it's not a routine replacement due to expiry you may need a countersignature from the approved list of those who can do so..

As I recall it on the relevant government form there is a box to tick if you need to replace your passport because it is damaged...and that can cover anything from dog chewing through to, um, just hypothetically, 😬🤐 putting it in the washing machine by mistake.

AdoraBell · 01/07/2023 20:05

Just apply for re placements. Why did you rip them?

QwertySmalls · 01/07/2023 20:06

I did it behind closed doors.
No-one saw, because when I do have these kinds of arguments I want to leave dh and feel at that time empowered and say to myself remember this feeling don't allow yourself to be speeched.

I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't book a holiday for the summer when I felt better.

But now I do feel better.

OP posts:
Pineapplewaves · 01/07/2023 20:07

www.gov.uk/renew-adult-passport/replace

It's going to be expensive.......

PaigeMatthews · 01/07/2023 20:12

Im with others wondering why you ripped up the passport.

surely if youre at this stage the best thing would be divorce? Youve just punished yourself ripping up your passport.

bobblyjob · 01/07/2023 20:12

If you are regularly having arguments with DH when you want to leave him then leave him. That has nothing to do with booking a holiday and your plan doesn’t seem to have worked because you are booking a holiday when you feel better. What are you going to do next time? Burn down the house so you remember not to live with him?
You and your children can still go on holiday without him surely. But this sounds like there are bigger problems than passports

Justine001 · 01/07/2023 20:13

Get some help for your anger issues and let’s hope your partner sees the light and takes the kids away before they are permanently damaged emotionally by a parents anger!

cocksstrideintheevening · 01/07/2023 20:13

QwertySmalls · 01/07/2023 20:06

I did it behind closed doors.
No-one saw, because when I do have these kinds of arguments I want to leave dh and feel at that time empowered and say to myself remember this feeling don't allow yourself to be speeched.

I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't book a holiday for the summer when I felt better.

But now I do feel better.

You need some help with this, it's not normal to live in a relationship like this.

PrueRamsay · 01/07/2023 20:13

I’m wondering if you should be posting in Relationships…

Aposterhasnoname · 01/07/2023 20:15

ThatFraggle · 01/07/2023 19:09

Just count them as lost and shred the old ones.

This, then grow the fuck up.

NutellaNut · 01/07/2023 20:21

Apply for new ones and say they were damaged and just pay the replacement cost. However, good luck getting a new one in time for the school holidays. There’s typically a 10 week waiting time at the height of summer.

QwertySmalls · 01/07/2023 20:22

Not planning to go away right now, just want them back for maybe October.

OP posts: