Ripped passports during argument, how can I get it replaced?

[QwertySmalls]

I ripped up mine and my kids passports during a major argument. I know I was stupid and foolish but I wanted to permanently do something that I couldn't undo once things went back to normal and gain some kind of power. I dont really know how this did it for me but its done now.

How can I get them replaced?

Online information about damaged passports is for minor damage such as torn pages or water damage.

Do I send them off as damaged and write that I ripped them up? Is that a crime?

They're not that easy to rip though, you must be feelingly mightily fucked off with your husband to do that? Perhaps it's time to go your separate ways op, it's not a healthy relationship. Doesn't sound like either of you are happy?

I don't understand why you ripped them up to stop yourself booking a holiday and also to feel "empowered".
If you rip up your passports you've ripped up a bit of your freedom because it stops you going abroad.
You seriously need to get some help. None of this is healthy at all.

As for the passports, just say they were damaged and get them replaced.

Helpful.

The passport office won’t care you don’t need to contact them. Just fill in the forms saying they’ve been lost and pay for the replacements.

What are you going to do next time? Burn down the house so you remember not to live with him?

Haha!

Please leave if he makes you that angry. You deserve to live in a world where you don't feel you have to tear up passport s to get relief. Please leave him

The passport office certainly do care what happens to passports, so please don't report them lost. Tell them the truth - ish. Say one of the kids (assuming that's plausible) ripped them up by accident. As another poster said, if there's ever a problem in the future and you need yet more passports it's going to look a bit suspicious.

You don't need a backstory. The passport office aren't going to care. People lose and damage their passports all of the time.

It's no way to live though. Destroying your own passport. Maybe just record yourself a video message. It does sound like you need a divorce more than a holiday in October.

I think in some cases they do ask what happened if the damage is to the photo page. They called my husband when he replaced his to ask for details of how it occurred....baby chewed the plastic page of it 😣

If this post said "my DP ripped up the passports" the advice on this thread would be incredibly different, with far less focus on the passports.

You need to seek help, urgently.

But true.

That's not normal behaviour. Absolutely bizarre. You've just taken away yours and your kids freedom and cost yourself money.
Leave your husband and get some counselling for your anger issues.

So you get so angry at your husband that you rip up the passports to stop you relenting later on and booking a holiday when everything has calmed down.
Why do you get so angry with him? Why don't you leave him?

That’s really concerning behaviour. Maybe think about therapy, as I’ll assume that’s not the only aggressive & destructive act you’ve carried out.

Isn't it an offence to deliberately damage/destroy a passport?

I would hope that they're not just easily renewed!

I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't book a holiday for the summer when I felt better.

Why would you want to stop yourself going on holiday?

How is that fair on the children?

I’m genuinely concerned for your children that you had to do something so over the top to stop yourself going on holiday because you can’t control not booking one and now you’re booking one anyway.

It sounds like you have serious MH problems that you need to get sorted for your DCs sake.

They should not have to walk around on egg shells because your mood changes drastically from day to day.

You will have your DC removed if you do not get help.

From the passport offices perspective you don't look like a criminal if you say that they got damaged AND send the bits back. You may make someone there smile with the explanation, but it won't be suspect or a big deal if you have all the bits to send. Slightly harder if you have nothing to post. Either way an avoidable cost but I'm sure you knew that the day after you did it.

I think you need to get some help.

Just sort out replacements, if asked for the damaged ones send, if asked how they were damaged, say a toddler did it. Doesnt have to be your toddler, ma visiting toddler will do.

And jeez sort yourself out so you dont do this shit again. If that means divorce, then divorce. It cant be worth the pain and the cost of replacing things you deliberately break to stay in such a shit situation.

But true.

It’s odd behaviour.

I agree.

Maybe book a app with your GP. It’s not normal behaviour.

I think maybe there's more of a back story here than you just need advice on how to replace destroyed passports?

You mentioned feeling disempowered? What's really going on?

What has your husband said about the ripped up passports?

Agree with this. Secretly ripping up passports after an argument is a bizarre and massive step to take. If I came to find my partner had ripped yo my and the children's passports I'd find it absolutely chilling.

Either he's abusing you and you're trying to mark it so you don't minimise later or you're the one being abusive, or at absolute minimum showing signs of some fairly major issues going on.

sounds like you need therapy before you think about passports :)