Chrissy Teigen surrogacy

[HermioneKipper]

Just announced a 4th baby via a surrogate.

Its just so breathtakingly entitled to buy a woman’s body - especially when you already have 3 children?!

No regard for the safety of the surrogate’s body or thought for the baby who would be ripped from their mother at birth.

These people sicken me

It's also the role of "white middle class saviour women" to call out exploiters.

white middle class saviour women

Please don't use your racist, classist assumptions in place of an argument.

Wanting to protect women's bodily autonomy while preventing society from allowing the use women's bodies as a resource for others is not a "double standard".

@adviceneeded1990 Fair enough. You're happy to sit on your hands as disadvantaged women are exploited in the sex trade? Because they've chosen?

Sorry but in my opinion it’s much of this thread that’s racist and classist, how many references are there to agreeing with surrogacy when white, wealthy, women do it? So therefore only poor, black, women can be exploited? It’s awful.

Not at all. But the assumption that all surrogates are disadvantaged or in a minority situation is wrong. Some people do it just to help others and it’s altruistic, such as people who help sisters/family members. Not every situation is the same.

@adviceneeded1990 I am sure that there are, as there always have been, women who have babies for their friends and sisters. I have one a couple of generations back in my family. But it would be stupendously naive to believe that is what is happening in these high profile cases.

Sorry but in my opinion it’s much of this thread that’s racist and classist, how many references are there to agreeing with surrogacy when white, wealthy, women do it? So therefore only poor, black, women can be exploited? It’s awful.

I do see what you mean - I may have misinterpreted your point, sorry. I thought you meant double standards re abortion etc, and were accusing the feminists who are against surrogacy in all contexts of having a saviour mindset. But if you meant all the "at least it's not a woman from a developing country" posters, I apologise!

She didn’t ‘sadly lose her son’ …that’s what she led people to believe but the truth is far different. She’s the last person who should be allowed to have a baby by surrogacy, wonder if that baby was less than perfect then the pregnancy would have continued . She is awful!

And the use of the term "white middle class saviour" does not sound as if you believe the women concerned to be white and middle class....

"how many references are there to agreeing with surrogacy when white, wealthy, women do it?"

I don't agree with surrogacy when anyone does hit. However, I might rethink my position if someone could show me data showing that white wealthy women do it. Rather a different thing.

Well clearly they aren't prioritising the child's needs, or they wouldn't be removing it from its birth mother within hours of it being born, would they? We understand puppies and kittens need to stay with their mother for much longer than a surrogate baby is allowed to spend with the only person it recognises. The "fourth trimester" is a thing.

There is almost always a wealth/power dynamic in surrogacy and I'm not convinced its all about choice. As pointed out, pro surrogacy celebs are always the "consumer" rather than the surrogate in the scenario...

Even without the celeb element, I watched a BBC programme about surrogacy a year or so ago. One set of "commissioning parents" were a wealthy couple using a young single mother living in a studio flat. Another was an employee being a surrogate for her boss....

I'm so uncomfortable with this. I don't want a situation where there's a complete ban as I have compassion for those who cannot carry a child for medical reasons and have an altruistic surrogate eg a sister. I also find it more ethical for a sister to carry a child for their gay brother and partner for instance. But commercial surrogacy should be illegal worldwide, end of - no passports issued if "commissioned" overseas!

It seems like outsourcing a job to me and it's wrong

Do men “bleat”?

She didn't lose her son?

She had a medical termination as her life was at risk.

Ok, that's what I thought.

@Hoppinggreen "Do men “bleat”?"

Of course they do. They also gossip, shriek and become hysterical. What are you, some sort of feminist or something?

They also become shrill and are often bossy shrews. You can’t take them seriously, the poor dears.

So you're claiming you know the reason for the tfmr and it doesn't meet your approval?

I was about to say “tell me you know nothing about adoption without telling me you know nothing about adoption” but then realised this is a teachable moment.

The below applies to the UK, not US which is very different.

Overwhelmingly, in the UK, babies are not relinquished, they are removed due to abuse and neglect. These children, very often (not always), due to their early experiences suffer developmental trauma which can have a profound and lifelong effect on a number of things. This includes their ability to form relationships, empathy, risk assessment, executive function.

People who want to be adoptive parenting go through a rigorous process designed to ensure they can parent children whose outcomes may be very uncertain and who have already lost one set of parents. This is not for everyone.

‘Brochures’ in the UK do not feature info on biological parents. There were (maybe still are) magazines that featured the profiles of children waiting for adoption. These were children who were considered harder to place, so needed to be brought to the attention of a wider audience of people who had been approved to adopt in order to maximise their chances of being placed.

I know, because we found my two DC this way.

Adoption isn’t altruistic. Primarily, I wanted to become a parent. it was basically selfish.

Adoption is absolutely nothing like surrogacy. To compare the two just shows you know nothing about the reality of the former.

No, because there are other ways a mother can comfort their baby - skin to skin being one. I believe that a baby ‘knows’ their mother on a primal level - their smell, the sound of their voice, the rhythm of their heartbeat.

Actively choosing to take them away from that purely for the purpose of fulfilling a childhood dream of having 4 dolls 🙄is heartbreaking and obscene in equal measure.

<thumbs up>

And now Naomi Campbell has announced the arrival of her "second child".

Wonder if she used the same surrogate. No mention of the surrogate on the announcement, so already not a part of the birth.