Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have uninvited her after she failed to respond to my messages?

178 replies

wisteriasmoke · 28/06/2023 04:57

Yesterday, a friend of mine was feeling under the weather and transferred her reservation at 20:00 for this restaurant I'd been dying to try out to me.

I messaged another friend about it and we made tentative plans to meet up after work. I told her to text me a confirmation by 18:00. 18:30 comes around and still no reply (she didn't pick up my call either), so I found someone else to have dinner with.

At 19:15, the initial friend I'd invited sent me a message telling me that she was done with her workout and was ready for our dinner. I apologised and told her that I'd be going with X instead.

Friend replied with something passive aggressive. I asked if I should've waited around not knowing if she would decide to go or if she would ultimately cancel at the last minute 'like before'. I got a 'LOL so petty' as a reply.

WIBU? Confused

OP posts:
Lesssugarketchup · 28/06/2023 06:19

The key is when you sent the text

. I told her to text me a confirmation by 18:00. 18.30 latest

when did you invite her

Lesssugarketchup · 28/06/2023 06:20

It’s another mumsnet “friendship”

ie petty, bitchy and more like enemies than friends.

Willmafrockfit · 28/06/2023 06:37

dh did this
i want to go somewhere at the weekend
he keeps saying i am not sure
so i invited someone else! Now he is miffed!

no big deal op

Willmafrockfit · 28/06/2023 06:37

did you apologise op?

Willmafrockfit · 28/06/2023 06:38

oh sorry, yes i see you did apologise
make a plan for another time with her op
end of story

billy1966 · 28/06/2023 06:43

Clymene · 28/06/2023 06:09

She sounds really rude and self absorbed so no loss. Hope you had a nice dinner.

This.

"Maybe. We'll see" would be a No to me.

You were clear, she was rude.

Skip her next time.

ImustLearn2Cook · 28/06/2023 06:48

Lesssugarketchup · 28/06/2023 06:19

The key is when you sent the text

. I told her to text me a confirmation by 18:00. 18.30 latest

when did you invite her

I’m thinking this too. @wisteriasmoke How much time did you give her to reply? Not everyone is glued to their phone. If she was working out at the gym she may have left her phone in a locker for a couple of hours.

Thepeopleversuswork · 28/06/2023 06:50

If someone said “we’ll see” to me in response to a dinner invitation I would write them off on the spot. It sounds very much the response of someone who wants to keep their options open and supercilious and entitled to boot. Fuck off with that.

I think you probably should have been quite explicit with her though that you needed a confirmation by x time or you would be asking someone else.

The friendship sounds highly dysfunctional and not very rewarding though.

Curseofthenation · 28/06/2023 06:53

You were kinder than I would have been. I wouldn't have given her until 6pm to respond!

She sounds like she enjoys people waiting around for her. It probably made her feel important while doing her workout. Well, boohoo. Hopefully she's learnt to respect your time going forward.

Bournetilly · 28/06/2023 06:54

If the last thing she said was ‘maybe, we’ll see’ then YANBU. But I would of tried to ring her first before asking someone else.

Bournetilly · 28/06/2023 06:55

Sorry just seen you did ring her first, YANBU.

SunSurfSand · 28/06/2023 06:56

'We'll see' ?!

What a self important madam. I'd have cancelled my invitation for that alone.

I hope you had a nice dinner and I hope your friend learned that people aren't going to wait around for her and thank her for the privilege.

WimpoleHat · 28/06/2023 06:57

Maybe? We'll see.'

She sounds like a right one. Who on earth makes “tentative” plans for that same evening? Surely the answer to “I have a last minute hard to get reservation - do you fancy coming?” is either yes or no, can’t make it? Or if there’s doubt (“I’ve got a meeting and I’m not sure of timings”), there’s at least some explanation for it. She sounds like a pain in the arse.

croft89 · 28/06/2023 06:58

What you said was clear, you need confirmation by 18:00

She didn't do that

MadamWhiteleigh · 28/06/2023 06:59

‘Maybe? We’ll see’

So rude. Who replies with that?!

MORTICIA112 · 28/06/2023 06:59

Overheard something I shouldn't have done, from a family member. Now I've proof they said this about me.
Now, do I confront them or not, because by other actions since then this family member has made it quite obvious there is something going on when it comes to me. Passive aggression towards me.
I'll not give the details, but the level of disrespect is huge, especially as I haven't done anything wrong to warrant it and am doing my very best i can, but obviously they believe they would do better.

Confront or not ?

Spareus · 28/06/2023 07:00

wisteriasmoke · 28/06/2023 05:20

'Maybe? We'll see.'

That was the last afternoon message I got from her.

Show quote history

That was rude of her, what was she waiting for - a better offer?

TriciaMcMillan · 28/06/2023 07:04

@MORTICIA112 you need to start your own thread. Smile

PineappleLatte · 28/06/2023 07:04

What time did you text her in the first place when you set the 6pm deadline?

Clymene · 28/06/2023 07:06

MORTICIA112 · 28/06/2023 06:59

Overheard something I shouldn't have done, from a family member. Now I've proof they said this about me.
Now, do I confront them or not, because by other actions since then this family member has made it quite obvious there is something going on when it comes to me. Passive aggression towards me.
I'll not give the details, but the level of disrespect is huge, especially as I haven't done anything wrong to warrant it and am doing my very best i can, but obviously they believe they would do better.

Confront or not ?

You need to start your own thread. And give more information as that's way too vague for anyone to advise I suspect!

MORTICIA112 · 28/06/2023 07:07

Oops. I'm so sorry I know. I'm in wrong place. I thought I was starting my own thread.
My apologies. Not sure what to do.?

TheGreatATuin · 28/06/2023 07:16

"Maybe. We'll see" is extremely rude. She can't expect you to just hang around until almost 8 waiting to for her to make a decision on whether or not she's in the mood to see you.
It means you cant make other plans.
That's entitled AF. I think you were very polite in the circumstances

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/06/2023 07:17

MORTICIA112 · 28/06/2023 07:07

Oops. I'm so sorry I know. I'm in wrong place. I thought I was starting my own thread.
My apologies. Not sure what to do.?

Go to the top of the page and click on “start a new thread”. It’s a blue box located on the rhs.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/06/2023 07:18

YANBU op. Is she normally this self important ?

ThreeRingCircus · 28/06/2023 07:19

TheGreatATuin · 28/06/2023 07:16

"Maybe. We'll see" is extremely rude. She can't expect you to just hang around until almost 8 waiting to for her to make a decision on whether or not she's in the mood to see you.
It means you cant make other plans.
That's entitled AF. I think you were very polite in the circumstances

I totally agree with this. If anyone replied to an invitation from me with a "Maybe? We'll see" I wouldn't be inviting them anywhere ever again. It is extremely rude..... basically insinuating that you have nothing better to do than wait around until they decide whether they can be bothered meeting with you or not. I wouldn't respond to her last message.

Swipe left for the next trending thread